Crazy Times - Marriage Builders® Forums

First, I want to thank all who answer my various postings. I am a bit crazed these days and your responses help a great deal. My brief history is that my wife began an IA with a man living a fair distance away (7hrs by car). She met him back in August and they spent the day together. I did not know this until after she left and only found out when I uncovered several E-mails. I confronted her about it and after talking decided to begin a Plan A as I realized certain of her ENs were not being met. During the 6 weeks, I did not notice much of a change her: she was treating me with indifference. Two weeks ago she asked if I would let her spend a night away to "clear her mind". Because of my various suspicions, I had her followed by a PI. She met the same OM in the hotel. I called the room and told her that I knew everything. I said that if she wanted to continue her "dalliance", I would stay with the children and my mother-in-law that night but would be gone for good the next day. She chose to come home immediately to talk. We did and now she's being more affectionate towards me but intimacy seems to be an issue for her now. In fact, her response to my requests for intimacy was that anything she'd give me would amount to a "mercy hump". She has promised that she would not contact the OM but my trust is truly shaken so I don't believe it. She claims to be committed to making the marriage work but I've noticed her mood darkening (withdrawal symptom?). I am being extremely supportive and loving (E-mails, flowers, candy, cards, etc). Our communication has definitely improved and I know my attentiveness has improved. Though I will continue the Plan A, I sense she is lost. We have 3 children and I sense she feels that she's trapped. She is a very driven person and wants to make lots of $. We live comfortably but I understand her need to maker her own mark. Does this sound like MLC? She's only 38. Between the A, her ups and downs, her obsession with $, etc, I'm being slowly driven crazy. As I Plan A, I think about the possibility that I'll discover her still in contact with the OM. Her desire for money of course would force her to be away from home more which I think plays into this somehow. Her response to my desire for more time alone has been to pencil us in for lunch/shopping two weeks from now. I feel and I've told her that I just don't feel like I am on her list of priorities. Other than Plan Aing along, any other advice from others who may have been in this position??? Thanks again to all....