I just found out that 3 years ago while visiting his parents in another country, my husband was treated for a sexually transitted disease. I am very hurt and confused about what to do. As a matter of fact my husband is away again this summer visiting his parents abroad. He sends me beautiful emails telling me that he misses me and loves me.

I know that I can't move out right now beacuse my son who will be a high school senoir next year needs both parents and a home.
At the same time I am not sure how I will be able to stand leaving with my husband in the same house.

I also have absolutely no idea how to even begin discussing the situation with him.

Please help.

Think very hard if leaving him is what you truly want. I can't tell you how many people acted on their emotions, divorced their spouses, and later regreted doing so.

If you truly want to talk about this to your H(husband), you need to keep yourself from losing your cool because yelling, screaming, acting sarcastic, etc. other than letting you vent your anger, will achieve nothing and more than likely just might end up pushing your H to leave the M(marriage). Can you trust yourself to do this?

Lucky for me the person my wife cheated with had only had one previous partner his entire life. His wife.

If my wife had brought home a STD or gotten pregnant. I don’t think I could have stayed married. It is hard enough dealing with the situation without those factors to consider.

Click on the link in my signature line.

Hello Hurtnconfused,
I am very sorry for the pain you are in. It must be especially difficult because he is away and you are unable to talk with him about this in person. It is not unusual for a wayward spouse(ws) to seem normal (even better than normal--high as a kite), professing love etc. If he is like many ws, he is, at this point, able to compartmentalize his life, and thinks he is pulling off a wonderful feat--having his cake (you) and eating it too (affairs). He may have convinced himself he is not hurting you, because his thinking is clouded by "the fog" that is an integral part of living a life driven by selfish, private desires--desires which betray the wife he has promised to be faithful to. Some ws think the excitement and happiness they find in their cheating actually improves the marriage relationship!
Read everything on this site. Have you been to the doctor to be checked for stds yourself? It is particularly devastating to find that your husband has risked your life so he can have a little unprotected sexual pleasure, isn't it? In D
Educate yourself in how to save your marriage. There is a way to do things that can bring great good to your marriage from this horror. This site is a great resource. Blessings to you.

<small>[ November 19, 2003, 10:53 AM: Message edited by: want2shine ]</small>