W had an inappropriate relationship with ex from High School. No sex though. I felt it. She admitted it and cut off relationship with him. I have serious trust issues as a result. Now she is in college. Found following on IM history between her and instructor who is 24 years older than her. Should I be worried? She claims it was joking, but this is the second time I've found it. Yes I did check her IM is that a violation? Was that wrong of me? Should I believe her?

1/17/2005 6:12:21 PM SJ sheepfarmer He just got home, brought me chai tea. Need to make sure he is happy, ask him about his day, rub his feet, yada yada.
1/17/2005 6:12:25 PM SJ sheepfarmer Bye now.
1/17/2005 6:12:32 PM sheepfarmer SJ have fun
1/17/2005 8:11:09 PM SJ sheepfarmer Tell Bri that any morning she wants to go to the barn with me, I'll pick her up at 5:30 am.
1/17/2005 8:11:28 PM SJ sheepfarmer Might be dark, but it's a great time to get a good start on the day.
1/17/2005 8:13:15 PM SJ sheepfarmer Okay, logging off now.
1/17/2005 8:13:44 PM sheepfarmer SJ good evenikng.
1/17/2005 8:13:48 PM sheepfarmer SJ didnt see you on.
1/17/2005 8:13:53 PM sheepfarmer SJ was eating
1/17/2005 8:14:04 PM sheepfarmer SJ if you get bri up at 5:30, good luck
1/17/2005 8:36:13 PM SJ sheepfarmer Give me a key, I'll get someone up.
1/17/2005 8:36:35 PM SJ sheepfarmer Just thought about it, that sounded really bad.
1/17/2005 8:36:43 PM SJ sheepfarmer I mean, I'll wake someone up.

Hello,

It certainly sounds inappropriate to me. I am a college professor and believe me a 24 year old difference is meaningless. Some of my colleagues especially married colleagues get off on it.
The problem is that your wife seems to have no boundaries. It sounds like she is pushing the envelope and it will be a matter of time until she ends up in a full blown affair.
Marriage counseling is a must at this point. No consequences to her actions equals no motivation to change. I wish you luck.

Thanks, you answered some of my questions. I'm going to set up counseling immediately. Before I had decided not to. God bless you.