New here--Need advice regarding LTA and Plan A - 04/06/09 09:38 PM
Hello all,
My situation in a nutshell..H had an affair with co-worker back in 2000--threw her under the bus when I found out (about 7 months into it). I verified everything and he was transparent.--FF to 2006--H took up with her again...I have now gone thru 3 years of gaslighting, trickle truth and now he doesn't even answer my questions anymore..just tells me to file instead of answering my questions-because he says he is tired of hearing it. I know that he has feelings for her but he has made no move to divorce or even move out..
I would like to try Plan A as I know there were issues pre A--I never worked on myself and always brought up the affair to him every chance I got..How do I do this if he is still involved in A? do I continue to have sex with him when I know he is still seeing her? I have seen an attorney, at least to get advice. The house would be the only issue as trying to sell right now is not good and neither one of us can afford the house and live on our own..any advice is appreciated. I really want my marriage but fear it is too late..Want to make me and the home attractive again but at the same time don't know if I can continue to sleep with him when he's with her..If I refuse sex, I could be dooming my marriage anyway...
THX
My situation in a nutshell..H had an affair with co-worker back in 2000--threw her under the bus when I found out (about 7 months into it). I verified everything and he was transparent.--FF to 2006--H took up with her again...I have now gone thru 3 years of gaslighting, trickle truth and now he doesn't even answer my questions anymore..just tells me to file instead of answering my questions-because he says he is tired of hearing it. I know that he has feelings for her but he has made no move to divorce or even move out..
I would like to try Plan A as I know there were issues pre A--I never worked on myself and always brought up the affair to him every chance I got..How do I do this if he is still involved in A? do I continue to have sex with him when I know he is still seeing her? I have seen an attorney, at least to get advice. The house would be the only issue as trying to sell right now is not good and neither one of us can afford the house and live on our own..any advice is appreciated. I really want my marriage but fear it is too late..Want to make me and the home attractive again but at the same time don't know if I can continue to sleep with him when he's with her..If I refuse sex, I could be dooming my marriage anyway...
THX