Question about counselling ethics. - 02/07/09 09:14 AM
Hello. This is my first time on this site. Please forgive me if this post is in the wrong place. I'll gladly move it to a correct location if told which location that may be.
My wife and I have very recently separated. In the past we have been to counselling both together and separate to try and resolve any issues we may have.
My wife has always been a "stuffer." She clams up and will never talk about anything. She would rather just forgot about something and avoid any conflict than try to discuss it.
She stopped going to counselling several months ago. I continued going. During the final days before separation I tried to convince her to go back. She refused with saying that "she tried counselling, it didn't work."
When I talked to our counsellor and told him that she would not come back for those reasons he told me that [[more could be done. He was afraid to push her during the sessions for fear she would withdraw and not talk at all. He was being very gentle with her because to start with he just wanted to get her to used to talking about things and didn't want to push her away by coaxing her to discuss things on a deeper level. He just wanted to get her to talk and her talking about anything at all was good at that point.]]
I know this to be true becuase that is how my wife is. Talking about things is confronting them and she wants to avoid confrontation. Quitting counselling would be the best way to avoid that confrontation. His fear of losing her was very reasonable.
Anyway, now for the question. I just got into a arguement with a mutual friend who told me that our counsellor telling me (the bracketed info above) was very unethical because he is discussing another patient's (my wife's) sessions. I completely disagree. Who is correct? Is the counsellor telling me he was afraid to push my wife away by coaxing her to discuss things deeper unethical or was it okay for him to tell me that?
My wife and I have very recently separated. In the past we have been to counselling both together and separate to try and resolve any issues we may have.
My wife has always been a "stuffer." She clams up and will never talk about anything. She would rather just forgot about something and avoid any conflict than try to discuss it.
She stopped going to counselling several months ago. I continued going. During the final days before separation I tried to convince her to go back. She refused with saying that "she tried counselling, it didn't work."
When I talked to our counsellor and told him that she would not come back for those reasons he told me that [[more could be done. He was afraid to push her during the sessions for fear she would withdraw and not talk at all. He was being very gentle with her because to start with he just wanted to get her to used to talking about things and didn't want to push her away by coaxing her to discuss things on a deeper level. He just wanted to get her to talk and her talking about anything at all was good at that point.]]
I know this to be true becuase that is how my wife is. Talking about things is confronting them and she wants to avoid confrontation. Quitting counselling would be the best way to avoid that confrontation. His fear of losing her was very reasonable.
Anyway, now for the question. I just got into a arguement with a mutual friend who told me that our counsellor telling me (the bracketed info above) was very unethical because he is discussing another patient's (my wife's) sessions. I completely disagree. Who is correct? Is the counsellor telling me he was afraid to push my wife away by coaxing her to discuss things deeper unethical or was it okay for him to tell me that?