i am 10 and a bit months down the line of finding out my wife of 24 yrs had an affair and was pregnant . she gave birth 5 days after i found out about the brief affair which devastater me . i took her things to the hospital as she wanted him there for the birth and not me even though i offered and told them both he could have her . we are no spring chickens and have 8 children from our years together . when dicharged from hospital the other man couldnt provide them with accomadation so she texted one of my daughters to ask if she could come home and maybe foolishly i agreed , hard to give up 24 yrs just like that . we decided to try after she assured me it was only a very brief affair and that she was unlucky to get pregnant . after me losing it every now and then and kicking her out a few times we have been trying again but i still havent had a heartfelt sincere apology and feel sometimes that i am just being taken for granted because i can provide for them both while he is a waste of space unemployed lay about . recently he has taken my wife to court for access and this is now tearing me apart as the baby is calling me daddy and it looks like im going to lose her aswel;l to him like i lost my wife albeit briefly . my anger and hurt is sometimes easy to hold back but then comes to the fore when i feel im not loved by her anymore . its all so hard and there are no books wrote on the subject and sometimes i feel totaly alone as only someone who has been through it would understand , am i alone in these feelings ???????????

chaswick, i would go to our pregnancy/child forum and read Dr Harleys views on this type of situation. There are 2 threads at the top of the forum that you should read thoroughly. The most important step for you is to insist that your wife NEVER have any contact with the OM again.

Please start a thread on the pregnancy forum, read the threads and others will support you.