Accountability almost over, videos still not done - 09/27/12 09:39 PM
Tried to find my old posts but can't find it.
H registered for the online course last year in November and we haven't done much because it's not a priority for him. I've asked numerous times if we can watch the videos and he'll say that we'll do it but when it comes down to watching the videos he has tons of excuses. We spent $1k on this online course and the key to success is in our grasp but I can't do it by myself.
H also doesn't like me reading or posting here so I just check once in a while when he's not around (I admit IB on my part). I also emailed Joyce a few months ago and she wanted us to do the radio show but my H wasn't comfortable doing it. I was willing to do the show myself but he did not want our situation in public. I want to do it myself but it's a major IB on my part. He said that we should just focus on our online course.
Few months later, still zero activity. And now we only have one month to go, we can renew for another $500 but what's the point?
We spend over 20 hours together BUT I don't think it's considered meeting our most emotional needs. He loves watching movies at home and holding hands (we couldn't cuddle coz we have movie theatre seats). He's gained several pounds with such inactivity. I'd ask him to go for a run with me and he doesn't want to, I even asked if he wants to ride on his bike and run and he doesn't like that either.
One of his complaint about me is that he wants me to focus on him ALL the time when he's around. That means I shouldn't cook, do household chores, workout, be in the Internet or whatever else that doesn't focus on him. All he wants is watch tv/movies and have sex. Even on my day off and we're in town, he'll go home early and I set that day aside to catch up on household chores and I have to postpone or rush what I'm doing so I could be with him most watching tv or sex.
Second is overnight trips and he has a valid point on this one. With all our sessions with Jennifer, this one he remembers. 90-95% of the time I go with him. I'm in the hotel right now while he's working. We'll be back Sunday and he's leaving again on Monday and won't be back until Wednesday. I'm not going on the next trip with him. I find that it's very hard to attain.
A typical scenario so I could be with my H would be: to change my schedule at work (I now work part-time on a flexible schedule), ask my parents or H parents to stay at our house to watch the kids, tell the kids, sometimes drop our dog to the kennel and book my airfare.
When I'm out of town, he's working and I'm left on my own. Sometimes it's good and I can catch up on my emails but I'm mostly bored. But H can still hook up with another OW if he wants to. I can't be him 24/7 if he has poor boundaries it's going to happen eventually.
I've exhausted all my resources to have a wonderful M. Is separation the next step?
H registered for the online course last year in November and we haven't done much because it's not a priority for him. I've asked numerous times if we can watch the videos and he'll say that we'll do it but when it comes down to watching the videos he has tons of excuses. We spent $1k on this online course and the key to success is in our grasp but I can't do it by myself.
H also doesn't like me reading or posting here so I just check once in a while when he's not around (I admit IB on my part). I also emailed Joyce a few months ago and she wanted us to do the radio show but my H wasn't comfortable doing it. I was willing to do the show myself but he did not want our situation in public. I want to do it myself but it's a major IB on my part. He said that we should just focus on our online course.
Few months later, still zero activity. And now we only have one month to go, we can renew for another $500 but what's the point?
We spend over 20 hours together BUT I don't think it's considered meeting our most emotional needs. He loves watching movies at home and holding hands (we couldn't cuddle coz we have movie theatre seats). He's gained several pounds with such inactivity. I'd ask him to go for a run with me and he doesn't want to, I even asked if he wants to ride on his bike and run and he doesn't like that either.
One of his complaint about me is that he wants me to focus on him ALL the time when he's around. That means I shouldn't cook, do household chores, workout, be in the Internet or whatever else that doesn't focus on him. All he wants is watch tv/movies and have sex. Even on my day off and we're in town, he'll go home early and I set that day aside to catch up on household chores and I have to postpone or rush what I'm doing so I could be with him most watching tv or sex.
Second is overnight trips and he has a valid point on this one. With all our sessions with Jennifer, this one he remembers. 90-95% of the time I go with him. I'm in the hotel right now while he's working. We'll be back Sunday and he's leaving again on Monday and won't be back until Wednesday. I'm not going on the next trip with him. I find that it's very hard to attain.
A typical scenario so I could be with my H would be: to change my schedule at work (I now work part-time on a flexible schedule), ask my parents or H parents to stay at our house to watch the kids, tell the kids, sometimes drop our dog to the kennel and book my airfare.
When I'm out of town, he's working and I'm left on my own. Sometimes it's good and I can catch up on my emails but I'm mostly bored. But H can still hook up with another OW if he wants to. I can't be him 24/7 if he has poor boundaries it's going to happen eventually.
I've exhausted all my resources to have a wonderful M. Is separation the next step?