Wife not willing to forgive or try to restore love - 04/28/14 09:51 PM
I had an affair a year ago. Based on what I read I stopped meeting my wife needs of conversation and therefore she stopped meeting my sexual needs. I hate that I made that mistake and I have a huge guilt. I am not one of those guys that cheats on his wife. I greatly regretted and I don't want to marriage to end due to that reason. I feel that my family deserves a change.
The problem is that my wife says she doesn't love me anymore and that she does not believe she can get her love restored. She does not believe our son will have any consequences from the divorce. She has married parents and I don't. I lived a separation from my parents and I really wish my son does not have to go through that. My wife says she lost the commitment and refuses to try to restore our relationship. She says it has to come from within and not being forced but natural. She says she is not willing to do anything for our 14 year relationship, our family or our son. That is has to come from within her. I fear that is not going to happen since it will require a level of commitment and effort to restore our relationship. I love her very much and I believe she cares for me but is not in love anymore. She says she wants to be alone. I have been desperately trying to get her into it but unsuccessfully.
She says she tried but I do not feel she did. We went only once to therapy. And she did not want to go through treatment.
I am working very hard on Plan A with unconditional love and planning for Plan B. I believe I have been a great husband and my family deserves a chance. I asked her to complete an emotional needs and love buster questionnaires but it seems that she not even willing to do that. It's been one year since I had the affair.
Does anyone have any additional good advice to give me?
Is there any material I can show her to prove to her that the best for our son is that we love each other for life? Am I right to believe that?
Thanks.
The problem is that my wife says she doesn't love me anymore and that she does not believe she can get her love restored. She does not believe our son will have any consequences from the divorce. She has married parents and I don't. I lived a separation from my parents and I really wish my son does not have to go through that. My wife says she lost the commitment and refuses to try to restore our relationship. She says it has to come from within and not being forced but natural. She says she is not willing to do anything for our 14 year relationship, our family or our son. That is has to come from within her. I fear that is not going to happen since it will require a level of commitment and effort to restore our relationship. I love her very much and I believe she cares for me but is not in love anymore. She says she wants to be alone. I have been desperately trying to get her into it but unsuccessfully.
She says she tried but I do not feel she did. We went only once to therapy. And she did not want to go through treatment.
I am working very hard on Plan A with unconditional love and planning for Plan B. I believe I have been a great husband and my family deserves a chance. I asked her to complete an emotional needs and love buster questionnaires but it seems that she not even willing to do that. It's been one year since I had the affair.
Does anyone have any additional good advice to give me?
Is there any material I can show her to prove to her that the best for our son is that we love each other for life? Am I right to believe that?
Thanks.