Hello, I am recently in the process of recovering from a porn/sex addiction and have been digesting a lot of content on here. I recently came across a video from Dr. Harley (link at the bottom). Around the 17 minute mark he talks about if you find someone particularly attractive, you should totally cut them out of your life and end the relationship. Now, my conundrum is my wife comes from a particularly attractive family. All of her siblings are particularly attractive and all of her close cousins that we meet with frequently are attractive. We see all of these people all of the time when we visit them. We love being with family and playing with their kids and would hang out pretty much every day when we would visit. Are we supposed to cut these incredibly important people out of our lives?

For some background, I come from a small town where most people are heavily obese and her family is from mostly a large city and are I guess you could say a normal weight? I'm not sure how to say that without offense so apologies. Also, when I was watching porn a lot of the videos common videos on the front pages are things like 'step sister' and other types of general family 'incest.' I always knew it was incredibly fake and these are just actors but I'm worried if this is just my sex addicted brain playing against me.

If anybody has any tips or can point me to an article or video where he explains in a little more detail what he means that would be incredibly helpful.

Thank You


LINK: Infidelity: What every couple should know

Edit: For clarity I think my wife is the most beautiful person in the world and she meets my emotional needs so well. This just makes it all the more confusing that I feel this way

Edit: I feel like I'm not getting my thoughts through very well. I feel like my emotional needs of affection, sexual fulfillment, and physical attractiveness are extremely well met by my wife, but is that enough to stop feeling attracted to other people or am I wrong?

Have you thought about writing Dr. Harley?

My wife suggested could that could also be helpful. I'll try that as well, thank you.

Email your questions to Joyce Harley at mbradio@marriagebuilders.com. When your email question is chosen to be answered on the radio show, you will be notified by email directing you to listen to the broadcast. If you would like to consider being a caller, include your telephone number. You will receive a call to explain the procedure.