talking with the kids/separation - 01/12/07 10:33 PM
Well, its been 2 months since my separation. It seems longer, for some reason. Its been a tumultuous few months to say the least. But I am grounded, more than ever. I have feelings of rage some days, and other days, I am ok. But I dont cry...no time for sadness. Its been "game on"the last few weeks. H has been trying to retalliate at me with FACS and one day went as far to take flu-ridden D to FACS meeting. He wanted to show the worker that her health was poor and I oculdnt care for her because she got sick ??? FACS told him to grow up and take the child to the sitter. Thank god. Then he told the worker I am leaving the children at home alone in the morning. My oldest son is 14 and while I search for another job that suits my new life better, he is responsible to make sure him and his brother get on the bus. My sitter picks up my D from the house as soon as she gets up. My oldest doesnt have to do anythning other than put her coat on.
He complained about that but oldest son babysat before when he wanted to go out and that was okay.
So far he is banned from my store and police have enough to charge with harrassment. He has been trying to getme fired and calling work non-stop.
Its been really ugly.
He tried to get back with me and said he is attending counselling. He stated the children as the reason to do so.
I still think what I am doing is best for the kids. They are happy and calm. I am happy.
Life is okay, except for the fact he has re-negged on his financial responsibility to the mortgage.
He provides support to the kids but is not paying for the house. I guess cause he figures he doesnt live here!
So I am scraping ot make payments but the monthly payment is more than my monthly income and the bank is being unforgiving and saying if I go 2 months into default they are going ot start proceedings and I have 3 months to get out basicalyl from the origional default.
Nice.
Other than that, he isvery depressed and is sleeping heavily and when kids visit (supervised) his mother is wartching them anyway. So she says--herself.
He sees them about 12 hours a week.
He has left all the explaining and talking to the kids up to me and says nothing. He never calls to talk to the kids.
So now the kids want to know if we are getting a divorce and I dont know what to say, so I told the boys that sometiems adults cant work out their differences and mom and dad have tried very hard to work on our disapreements but daddy is not happy about some things with mom, and I am not happy about the way dad treats me or you guys, so we cannot agree on what to do about it and so we aree separated. After separating for awhile, sometimes parents get a divorce. But this doesnt mean you still wont see both of us.
I didnt know how else to explain it...this is all new for me too and I dont know...
help!
He complained about that but oldest son babysat before when he wanted to go out and that was okay.
So far he is banned from my store and police have enough to charge with harrassment. He has been trying to getme fired and calling work non-stop.
Its been really ugly.
He tried to get back with me and said he is attending counselling. He stated the children as the reason to do so.
I still think what I am doing is best for the kids. They are happy and calm. I am happy.
Life is okay, except for the fact he has re-negged on his financial responsibility to the mortgage.
He provides support to the kids but is not paying for the house. I guess cause he figures he doesnt live here!
So I am scraping ot make payments but the monthly payment is more than my monthly income and the bank is being unforgiving and saying if I go 2 months into default they are going ot start proceedings and I have 3 months to get out basicalyl from the origional default.
Nice.
Other than that, he isvery depressed and is sleeping heavily and when kids visit (supervised) his mother is wartching them anyway. So she says--herself.
He sees them about 12 hours a week.
He has left all the explaining and talking to the kids up to me and says nothing. He never calls to talk to the kids.
So now the kids want to know if we are getting a divorce and I dont know what to say, so I told the boys that sometiems adults cant work out their differences and mom and dad have tried very hard to work on our disapreements but daddy is not happy about some things with mom, and I am not happy about the way dad treats me or you guys, so we cannot agree on what to do about it and so we aree separated. After separating for awhile, sometimes parents get a divorce. But this doesnt mean you still wont see both of us.
I didnt know how else to explain it...this is all new for me too and I dont know...
help!