My pastor is overseas, so I'm posing this question to you until he gets back... for some of you may have asked the same question.
So my husband is not a God fearing man. I know this is not the place to raise a child, so we've separated. I thought about just being separated, but I've decided I need a divorce to legally protect myself from his future problems (DUIs, bankruptcy, etc.).
So then if you've decided, then what is the point of asking God, the pastor or anyone else? It seems to me that you've already decided what you want to do, and want folks to say your decision is OK.
I don't think that is how God works. I think God designed marriage to be a life long bond, which is why He wants us to pick carefully.
But, if we don't choose carefully, I don't think God says, here is you way out. Remember the words of Jesus, to paraphrase, divorce is not part of God's plan. He allows it, but it's not God's design for divorce to happen.
The history of mankind is full of all sorts of rules where we try to get around God's designs.
The bible says "whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." He has not cheated, that I can find. So this means that if I find someone (someday WAY far in the future), I'm an adulterer? or am I missing something somewhere?
I think that's exactly what it says. If you choose to leave a man who is sexually faithful then you are choosing to put yourself in a position where you may commit adultery in the future, should you choose to marry again.
You'll hear all sorts of folks saying you deserve happiness, etc. Frankly, I find little in scripture about being happy. Happy is transient. I think God is far more concerned about your holiness.
You say your husband doesn't fear God. Does that mean he is not a believer, or merely that he doesn't practice his faith. For if he's a member of the church, then it's possible he could come under church discipline.
If your state has legal protections under separation then I can't see any reason not to pursue legal separation and if your husband wants to work on the marriage, you can give him the pastor's contact information and he could coach your husband into a proper relationship with God and as your husband.
If one goes all the way back to the fall of man in Genesis 3, God doesn't accept our excuses for our sinful behavior when we try to blame others.
God refused Adam's blameshift towards Eve, God refused Eve's blameshift towards the serpent. So I don't think God will treat anyone's blameshift towards their spouse for human thinking such as financial infidelity, or emotional infidelity or basically any kind of human imagined infidelity other than the one God clearly states, which is sexual infidelity, I don't think God's going to say He's OK with the sin of choosing to divorce a sexually faithful spouse.
I think of the story of Abigail and Nabal. Nabal was a foolish (his name actually means fool) abusive husband, and yet Abigail was faithful to him and actually acted to protect him from David's anger.
Abigail trusted God to take care of the matter, and God struck down her husband and she became David's wife.
Personally, I think that's the example God wants us to follow. I'm not saying someone being abused needs to stick around to be a punching bag. I think they are to seek safety. But that doesn't mean they get a free ride to unilaterally end their marriage.
I think the believer is called to try to remain in the marriage. But if offending spouse, the abuser, addict, adulterer etc, chooses divorce, I think in that case, the believer is free and actually called to let them go.
But in any case that doesn't involve sexual infidelity with another person, I believe God calls believers to do everything possible to work out the marriage, and if the marriage is to end, it is to be at the hands of the offending spouse, not the faithful, believing spouse.