How long has the EA been going on?
She made it clear that when we separated she was able to see other people.
She set the dating thing up the day she threw you out. She already had OM lined up - the EA guy.
I don't know if she did or not. She certainly didn't do it around the kids. I have not seen anyone or even thought about it. There were some nights on the bottle that I had more than a few chances to break that vow to her but I did not.
You don't know what she's doing because you promised her you wouldn't spy on her, right? Why would you make a promise that is so dangerous to your marriage??
As for another man, she was having an EA for a longtime and that is what drove me crazy. She is still best friends with the guy and while I am sure they are not sexually involved it still hurts that she would seek someone out before me.
billy, you can pretty much assume that they are still together and the affair is now a PA. They are NOT 'best friends' - EAs that are left unchecked don't DE-escalate - they escalate into PAs. And NO, you're NOT sure they're sexually involved. You're not spying on her, remember? Your best bet is to assume they are.
As for where she was Saturday, I have some thoughts but I am not going to spy or try to find out.
You're going to have to get over this business of allowing your WW full reign to pursue her affair - do you want to be married to her, or not??
I'm not sure what you want to accomplish - you're on a marriage building website, yet you say
I do not believe that a couple of months of good behavior changes everything I was simply wondering what others have gone through.
Do you mean what other people have gone through on their sobriety journey?
Are you're resigned to being divorced but still hoping she'll come around?
In any event - if you want to save your M you're hiding it well. It sounds like you're sitting on your hands and hoping your WW will suddenly change course. She's probably not going to do that, billy. She's had months to adjust to a new life that does not really include you - AND she's having an affair. The chance of her returning to you of her own volition isn't good.
Do you want to try to kill the affair and get your marriage back? I would suggest you click on the Notify button and ask the moderators to move your thread to Surviving an Affair. You'll get more posters reading your thread over there. AND you'll get a lot of info for hopefully saving your M.