Got a lawyer back in June this year and finally filed for divorce last month. WH was served on August 17th and then he tried to contact my lawyer who would not talk to him because it would be a conflict of interest. Now WH got a lawyer here and file within 1hr of the deadline. My problem, WH wants everything. He wants 1/2 the equity in the house(I paid for the house all these years), half my retirement(he cashed his in), alimony(he makes less than me), have me pay his lawyer fees, and for me to pay half of the bills, which means all of my bills and part of his bills which he has not paid in over 1 1/2 yrs. I live in Florida and it is a no fault state and they divide the property equitably(doesn't mean 50/50). Any ideas from anyone?

Wish I had some advice for you. I'm sorry, and your WH is a disgrace.

Your husbands attorney filed for everything because that is what he is entitled to.
Well at least it's a starting point in negotiations.

My wife filed for everything and didn't get it. Nobody does. It's all negotiated by the lawyers.

Your attorney is hopefully a reputable professional and will do a good job.

This is going to be a difficult new Chapter in your life.
I'm sorry for your pain.
What helped me through divorce (with young kids) was prayer, AlAnon and marriage builder forum.

I hope you sleep well and have a good day tomorrow

Was at work today and was asked how it was going during my lunch break. When I said the name of my lawyer I was told I had a great lawyer, but when I said the name of my WH's lawyer I was told by one of my co-workers that was her lawyer and that he was a horrible lawyer and he doesn't care about his clients and thast he was worthless and I didn't have to worry. Funny thing is I looked up this lawyer the review I saw said, "Do not hire him because he will never return calls or emails and just wants to take your money and you never get anywhere." This actually makes me feel better. I have a friend who is going to ask her husband about this lawyer. Her husband is a lawyer and he was the one who told me to hire my lawyer.

All I want in my divorce is the house that I have been paying for for 17 yrs, my car, my retirement, and my bills. I want nothing else. Heck, if he wants the furniture, he can have it. He just has to come to Florida and get it and take it back to Idaho. I want nothing from him.

Glad you have a bulldog for a lawyer.

What does your lawyer say?

Haven't talk to my lawyer yet. Still trying to get everything for the full disclosure. My lawyer went over everything in the beginning and gave me the worse case scenerio. So this is not really a big surprise. I'll probably hear from him in about 2 weeks after he gets WH full disclosure and takes his deposition. I don't want to waste his time because it is costing me $400/hr and I have paid $5000 to start.

Just remember to take care of yourself during this time

Got a lawyer back in June this year and finally filed for divorce last month.

WH was served on August 17th and then he tried to contact my lawyer who would not talk to him because it would be a conflict of interest.

Now WH got a lawyer here and file within 1hr of the deadline.

My problem,
Turn this into WH's problem

WH wants everything.

PR65 wants everthing

He wants 1/2 the equity in the house(I paid for the house all these years),

WH can buy out your half of the equity in the house. Was this the Marital home?

half my retirement(he cashed his in),

PR65 wants half of WH's retirement at the value it would be at today had it not been cashed out

alimony(he makes less than me),

You want alimony and an award for marital abuse and suffering

have me pay his lawyer fees,

PR65 wants WH to pay lawyers fees.

and for me to pay half of the bills, which means all of my bills and part of his bills which he has not paid in over 1 1/2 yrs.

PR65-I don't quite understand this. But since you are asking ask him to pay all the bills.

I live in Florida and it is a no fault state and they divide the property equitably(doesn't mean 50/50).

Any ideas from anyone?


PR65
Knock his wayward entitled azz to the curb. Your lawyer may be able to add more to the list. Discuss this with your lawyer.

Once WH sees you asking him for even more than he was asking for he may become more reasonable.

You may even want to BS him that you are prepared to blow everything of cash value you worked for all of your life just to insure he gets nothing from you. The bluff may work and if his lawyer is crap that would work all the better in your favor.

Do you really see WH traveling for court in Florida? Some BS there with many proceedings and drawn out for possibly years may go a long way. Also dicuss options with your lawyer.

D is a business deal. Make the best deal you can for PR65.
Sometimes you just have to bluff.

nESRE

Found out from my friend, whose husband recommended my lawyer, that even though he doesn't know my WH lawyer he has heard that he is not very good and that the info I got from another friend who used said lawyer is right on the money-"he isn't any good." So, my gain, WH's loss.

Good

Hopefully you are going to get the better part of the deal.
Don't count your chickens before they are hatched though. Try to clearly outline what you expect to get and give.

Believe me, I am expecting the worse. The only thing I wnat is what is mine. I have never wanted anything from WH and don't expect anything. He is the one who had the affair and is in another one right now. He also is the one who deserted me and our family and moved about 2000 miles away. All I want is my stuff and the house which I have been paying for all this time anyway. He actually put me in a financial hardship when he left and I am finally seeing light at the end of the tunnel. If he lands up getting anything I will probably have to file bankruptcy and/or let the house be foreclosed on because I cannot afford to pay him anything and continue to pay for the house before it is sold and I know he won't pay for 1/2 the house until it is sold.

I'm in foreclosure now.
My wife's affair devastated me financially.
But I can promise you : there is light at the end of the tunnel!

I hope so, just can't wait until this is all over with. Depending on WH it could take months, at least 6 months. If he would have just signed then it would have been over with by now and would have cost him nothing at all, but now it is going to cost us both thousands because I don't think the judge is going to make me pay his attorney's fee(at least I hope not) when I can't even afford my own. It cost me $5000 to start out and that was when I thought he wouldn't contest it. I'm expecting it to cost me about $10000 more before it is over with.

Hi Phoenix,

I lived in FL during my exWH's affairs and consulted a lawyer. You still have recourse. I don't know why your lawyer is not pointing these things out to you. Even though FL is a no-fault state, adultery can be a factor in the divorce. I was advised to file my Petition with adultery stated so that it was a claim from the get go. You may want to speak to your attorney about amending the Petition or at least bringing up the adultery in other Answers/Responses going forward. When your stbx sees the word "Adultery" in the paperwork, he may get a wake up call that his dirty laundry is about to be aired in court if he doesn't pull his head out and settle with you.

Fault can be considered in FL - "Fault, however, may be considered under certain circumstances in the award of alimony, equitable distribution of marital assets and liabilities, and determination of parental responsibility."
Source: http://www.floridabar.org/tfb/TFBCo...070c9b9/50c0b911a9cb28fd85256b2f006c5ba9

The entire code - http://archive.flsenate.gov/Statute...Statute&URL=0000-0099/0061/0061.html

Distribution of assets - See Chapter 61.075(1) (i) and (j)

When did he cash in his retirement? If he has not contributed to the house, you can make a claim that the house is not a marital asset but you have to document the money and support your claim.

Adultery is SPECIFICALLY listed as affecting alimony. See Chapter 61.08

Thank you, BR for the info. I have to see my attorney this month and I had already decided to change the reason for divorce to adultery but now I will definitely make sure it is refiled for that reason. I'm hoping that my attorney is already making sure my WH isn't going to get alimony because he committed adultery. I am also hoping since WH husband hasn't gotten support from me in 3 years that he won't get temporary alimony. WH has it on his facebook page that he is in a relationship with OW#2.

Make sure you screenshot and print the Facebook postings

I'll have to get my daughter to do that since WH has me blocked from his page, like I really care.

Found out from someone else today that said the same thing that when it comes to adultery you cannot get alimony in Florida.

WH would have had an easier time just by signing and leaving me alone because now he is going to have to owe a lawyer now. It would have cost him nothing. Only I would have had to pay anything and that is $5000. Now he has just cost us both more money. He might get something in the end but he will have to pay more than it is worth.

I have already decided to go travel nursing next year when all of this is over. I plan on travelling in Tennessee next year because my parents live there. There is nothing here for me besides my children, and they are adults, and memories. My DD22 and my granddaughter will probably move to Tennessee next year when DD22 finishes school.

Well at least you have that going for you. No alimony for his cheating behind!

I hope the Lord will bless you in whatever you decide to do with your career

Had to go in today to sign some more paperwork. Verified that there is a new statute that says that if you are living with someone and they are helping to support you, which is happening to my WH, that it does affect if you can get alimony or not. My lawyer's legal assistant was trying to find the paper that statede that for me and said that WH is just filing for alimony to drag things out. She told me that in the end my WH will probably just settle. Go in tomorrow now to see my lawyer to talk to him, it is an hour long appointment. Was glad to move it up from the 22nd. I am starting to feel better about things. I know I'll be paying several thousand more before it is over with but it will be worth it.

Going to settle with WH for half of my retirement at the hospital where I work before it was taken over. I really can't afford to continue paying my lawyer $400/hr. WH has accepted it after finally talking it over with him. He wanted me to give him $30,000 and I asked him where was that going to come from? He is so stupid, he thinks there is a lot of equity in the house but my lawyer said that my house was a "wash". In the back of my mind I knew I was going to have to give him 1/2 of my retirement. At least I will have my 401K that I have working on, my bills only, my house and all of my stuff.

WH wants me to put in my will that he will continue to get my retirement after I die. Unfortunately he will have to get that approved before the divorce is granted and he will have to pay his lawyer to take the hospital to court and the hospital said that has been successfull one time only and that was an extreme circumstance. If I die before WH he won't get any of my retirement either because we are not married.

WH said if I get all the paperwork together the way he wants it and send it to him he would sign it. I think he is trying to bypass his lawyer because he doesn't want to have to pay him anymore money. Oh, well, guess I will find out soon. Let's hope this will finished before Christmas.

Settling with an alcoholic wayward will come to haunt you forever. They only get worse (and I mean worse) as life goes on ... make sure you are fully protected to the end of time.

That is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. If you put in your decree, I will put in my will that exWH gets my retirement after I die...guess what...when you don't do that you'll be dead so ooohhhhhh well. If there is a survivor benefit to your retirement, list your children (or whoever) and let him go fight it out with the hospital should you die before him.

Don't do the work for him. Put very loose language in there so there is little legal teeth to it and let him spending his time and money suing a hospital about it's retirement plans...good luck with that. Don't point any details out to him about what the hospital said, etc. Maybe stupid will sign because he thinks it's all good. Don't offer up anything voluntarily.

Finally heard from lawyer today. Everything is getting typed up today and I have to go by and look it over and if it is okay then it will be sent to my WH's lawyer. I hope this is over soon, maybe if I am lucky it will be over before Christmas.

Sending you good vibes...

good luck with all of it PR65. It will be good to get this chapter in your life behind you.
opt