Welcome <B>OU812</B>...<P>I have a post of general welcome I wish to share with you...
<P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000002.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P><B>About your post</B>...<P>After reading the letter from your W...<BR>...I said to myself... "this is from MY wife"!...<BR>...only my W would have added...<BR>..."I suffer alone without telling you"...<P>This is <B>such</B> a common letter...<P>You are not alone!...<P>Do read the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000002.html" TARGET=_blank>Welcome</A>!!! And follow the links!<P>What you want to do is first get an understand of all the concepts...<BR>...and immediately start counseling...I would recommend that you have a couple of <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7200_phone.html" TARGET=_blank>telephone counseling sessions</A> ($85US a pop... but well worth it) with <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7010_about.html" TARGET=_blank>Steven W. Harley</A> or Jennifer Harley. Check out the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7000_counsel.html" TARGET=_blank>Counseling Center</A>... and for some specifics... <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7015_fee.html" TARGET=_blank>Fees for Counseling Services</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7020_sched.html" TARGET=_blank>Scheduling an Appointment</A>!<P>If your W will join you... great...<BR>If not... do it alone!<P>You will want to learn about <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A> right away!<P>Much of the best information is found directly in the book <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6070_sa.html" TARGET=_blank>"Surviving An Affair"(SAA)</A>... <B>GET IT</B>... and read!<P>Until you do... straight from the book...<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Plan A: Avoid <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3401_angry.html" TARGET=_blank>angry outbursts</A>, <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3402_disrespect.html" TARGET=_blank>disrespectful judgments</A>, <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3404_selfish.html" TARGET=_blank>selfish demands</A>, <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3403_annoy.html" TARGET=_blank>annoying behavior</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3405_dishonesty.html" TARGET=_blank>dishonesty</A> (i.e. <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3400_lovebust.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Busters</A>!) at all costs. (page 75 of SAA)...<B>and</B> at the same time, if your spouse would let the you, you should try to meet your spouse's most important <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3300_needs.html" TARGET=_blank>Emotional Needs</A> (page 77 of SAA) that is...<BR><OL TYPE=1><LI> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3305_aff.html" TARGET=_blank>Affection</A><BR><LI> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3310_sex.html" TARGET=_blank>Sexual Fulfillment</A><BR><LI> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3315_conv.html" TARGET=_blank>Conversation</A><BR><LI> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3320_rec.html" TARGET=_blank>Recreational Companionship</A><BR><LI> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3325_hon.html" TARGET=_blank>Honesty and Openness</A><BR><LI> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3330_att.html" TARGET=_blank>An Attractive Spouse</A><BR><LI> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3335_fin.html" TARGET=_blank>Financial Support</A><BR><LI> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3340_dom.html" TARGET=_blank>Domestic Support</A><BR><LI> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3345_fam.html" TARGET=_blank>Family Commitment</A><BR><LI> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3350_ad.html" TARGET=_blank>Admiration</A></OL><BR><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>...<P>In your case... finding out what are the most important <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3300_needs.html" TARGET=_blank>Emotional Needs</A>...<BR>...and like my W... <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3305_aff.html" TARGET=_blank>Affection</A> seems to be very important...<BR>...I'd recommend you take immediate... <B>AND DAILY</B> steps from some recommended books...<BR><OL TYPE=1><BR><LI> <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0785273662" TARGET=_blank><B>A Celebration of Sex</B></A> by Dr. Douglas E. Rosenau <BR><LI> <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0440207533" TARGET=_blank><B>Light His Fire </B>: How to Keep Your Man Passionately and Hopelessly in Love</A> by Ellen Kreidman <BR><LI> <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0805058265" TARGET=_blank><B>Passionate Marriage :</B> Love, Sex, and Intimacy in Emotionally Committed Relationships</A> by David Schnarch <BR><LI> <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0800757092" TARGET=_blank><B>Sex Begins in the Kitchen :</B> Because Love Is an All-Day Affair</A> by Kevin Leman <BR><LI> <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0310214149" TARGET=_blank><B>What Husbands Wish Their Wives Knew About Men</B></A> by Patrick M. Morley <BR><LI> <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0842378960" TARGET=_blank><B>What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women</B></A> by James C. Dobson <BR></OL><P>Your W, sounding so similar to mine, may be suffering from bouts of depression...<BR>...seriously consider an appointment with a MD to (1)have a prescription for anti-depressant medication (2)possibly individual therapy.<P>My son, taking a psych class in school, now recognizes his mom as bi-polar!<P>Everything... and I do mean <B>Everything</B> that is recommended here...<BR>...is helped by coming to this forum and getting help from the most wonderful, patient people in the world!!!<P>post... read... ask...<P>
<P>Jim