H told me the password to his AOL account. blech. of course i looked. his mail showed that he told his (most recent) ex-wife that he's raising the kids alone (with a picture attached that i took last week...he has not even seen them in 3 weeks! lol), and that he has OW on his buddy list, but not me. blech. ("oh, i don't even SPEAK to her anymore!" yeah, right).<BR>i had to come here before i called him and btched and LB'd all over the place, im sick and shaking, though. . gotta be calm. if im telling him im divorcing him, what else can i expect? it just hurts that he keeps calling me telling me he wants to work it out and how much he loves me and is having all these erotic dreams about me. ugh. give it up, bud.<BR>ok, im feeling better now.<BR>i must not call him, i must not call him, i must not call him....

I'm confused. Why would he give you his password? Are you in plan a or b? What are his and your intentions? And is his OW his ex-wife? Where does she fit in all this?

popeye, i don't know WHY he told me his password...oh, he's proud that it's "husband" (i said, like the fact that you ARE in fact a husband, it's secret?). he has always been in contact with his exwife...when we were first married he completely denied being married to her, in spite of joint tax returns and credit cards...he is in his own world....<BR>she's not the OW, just a friend, and he's trying to say he's raising the kids alone, and it's just sooooo much fun. sheesh.<BR>OW--whom he claims to not be seeing (boy he thinks i am SO naive!!!) is on his buddy list, along with his daughter and that same exwife, but not me.<BR>we are not in plan b, but i packed up the babies for an extended out of state trip till he can get his financial nightmares taken care of (selling a house, finding a new one---most likely with OW---i think he'll move in with her and i'll demand a small house for me and the kids-but nothing is planned yet). he and i are talking some, but a lot of the time im avoiding it. he calls me from the car or the bathroom, and claims to have "lost" the phone at the house, so only calls from his cell phone most of the time, as he knows i have caller ID here, and im sure he's only going home sporadically, as home is 90 miles from work, but OW is only about 20 miles from his work.<BR>he takes me for the biggest fool!<BR>he's completely in another world...i can't wait to get the divorce started, and i really have to bite my tongue sometimes to keep from major lb'ing... (there is no way in the world i'll let him "have" these kids...they don't even know him...ive been home with them every moment of their young lives, and on the few occasions he's had them, he takes them to OW or leaves them with a babysitter i don't even know).<BR>i gotta quit ranting and calm down now...<BR>thanks for being here,<BR>julie

phew. i feel better. i went and fixed some stuff that i had meddled with on his account (took my name off, put hers back, changed the thing back in his profile i had "fixed" a few days ago, noticed that he has all IM's blocked anyway, and that the day i left for texas, he was already talking with some new person who wanted info on the town he lives in, and he was happy to send a lengthy letter to them. blech).<BR>the man is just....broken. i have no room for his pathology in my life. OW has known him almost as long as i have, and if she's willing to wait for him, then apparantly they are a match made in heaven, as he frequently prints out or emails their astrological compatibility spiel to her. again, blech.<BR>there's nothing i can do for him, and i need to move on with my life and create some stability for my children (he's at his 8th job in three years...they are all steps up, but it is taking a toll on me).<BR>thanks for letting me vent

I wish I had some words of wisdom. I have kind of given up trying to figured the betrayers out. It just makes no sense to me.<P>Sounds like you have recovered though! Just keep taking deep breaths and taking it one day at a time. I KNOW how hard that is, especially when you are being lied to and feel like you are being walked on. Good luck.

thanks for the encouragement, popeye. it's amazing how many times i have to repeat the GOOD things to myself so i can believe them and live on them.<BR>i will spend most of next week at a beach house with friends, so that should get my mind off him even more