What did or are you going to do with your wedding rings?<P>a) keep them b) pawn them or c) give them back to ex/stbx? And why?<P>I'm undecided and was curious about what you guys have done.<P>------------------<BR><B>God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...Courage to change the things I can...And the wisdom to know the difference.</B><P>lady_divine77@yahoo.com

Mine is in the pencil tray of my work desk, cleverly covered with a blue earbud windscreen. I don't know what else to do with it. I'm not ready to let go of it yet.

Kept them. Engagement ring had very good 1/2 carat diamond. May turn it into a necklace one day. Or get another for earrings. My earrings are small. Wedding band had some tiny stones in it. May end up having another piece of jewelry made from it when finances allow.<P>Who knows/cares what doofus did with his. Oh, I mean my x.<p>[This message has been edited by cinderella (edited January 02, 2001).]

Funny you should ask; just last night, I was going over my list of what I wanted sent back from Japan. I came to the jewelry box on the dresser, where I left my wedding ring last summer. I pondered over a great deal of time what I should have him do with it. Think he'd have the nerve to give it to his Miss Kitty? Pawn it? (it was a pretty nice ring--I liked it, anyway.) Who knows. What do you do with a used diamond ring?<P>I know where his is; it is exactly where it has been for the last three years. It's in a box that you get checks in in the top drawer of his dresser.

I will keep mine, although I don't know where it is at the moment. If I get married again, I will want a certain design which was not available 15 years ago, but which I just found recently. <P>The X wears her wedding band on her right hand, as it is her grandmother's wedding band, and I will never do that again. She is more loyal to her than me!<P>She has put my engagement ring in a safe deposit box to hand down to our d at some point. the diamond earrings, I doubt she will ever wear again; the pirate toothpick earrings from the silver recovered from the Atocia, she probably will wear again, but maybe not. as for the rest, she might, but she might not. I could see her putting all of my expensive jewelry I gave her in the safe deposit box, but then again, with alzheimers, maybe not.<P>Tradition is everything for her (ESFJ - read about it ) <P>tom

I've kept mine. It's a diamond set into a solid white gold band, with hearts at the base of the diamond setting to let the light in. There are no prongs, it's just smooth across the top. I wear it on my right hand, and if you must know, I wear it to remind myself to behave! <P>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Bernzini:<BR><B>What do you do with a used diamond ring?<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>A few years back a retired FBI agent related this heartwarming story to me. Seems a law-school friend of his became a divorce lawyer. He proceeded to collect rings from his women clients as part of his fee, using a line like "You don't want to keep that ring the b*stard gave you!" In most cases, he also slept with the clients. One day, he emptied the desk drawer where he kept all the rings, took them to a jeweler, and had a lovely necklace made for his unsuspecting wife.<P>

Jamie-lee,<P>OK, only since you brought it up!! Kind of corny, but yesterday after spending New Year's Eve by myself (my own choice), I woke up kind of early and drove down to the beach (only about 10 minutes away). We had a lot of snow last week so the boardwalk and beach were still covered.<P>I spent sometime down there walking the boards and just thanking God that the worst year of my life had just ended and also thanking Him for what I hope will be a year full of joy and hope. Took a cup of coffee and a fine cigar and just spent about an hour there looking out onto the ocean.<P>After sitting for a while, I got up and walked down to the water. Out of my pocket I pulled my wedding ring and held it in my hand as I submerged it in the rather cold water. Not sure why... I guess I was hoping that the water of this New Year's Day would wash away all the heartache and pain that existed because of my wife's and my own actions over the past years.<P>It was an absolutely beautiful day - so many people had come out to greet the New Year. And for the first time in many years I was able to do the same with a crystal clear head (no hangover for me this year ).<P>To answer your question, I will hold onto it forever, as will I keep our wedding album. No matter what happens in our future, I have so many good and happy memories of our lives together. I would not give them up for anything. To be honest several months ago I debated asking her for her wedding and engagement rings back, but I chose not to. They are as much a part of her past as mine are part of my past - maybe one day she will hold them in her hand and realize what she has done....<P>Mike

My situation is a little tougher. When my mom died 5 years ago, she willed me her wedding ring. We had our rings incorporated into one.<P>To not wear it at all - I feel like I've abandoned my mom's memory.<P>To wear it on my right hand - I feel like it's still a way to cling to my marriage and I'm having enough trouble letting go.<P>To wear it on my left - not an option.<P>It's too valuable to wear on a chain.<P>I thought about swapping my sister for my mom's engagement ring - but I'd like to give the wedding ring to my own daughter (whose 10) someday as the only momento she has of my mother...so that's out.<P>It's in my jewelry box for now...no great answers have come to me.

I will keep my rings (other jewlery H gave me) for my children. They can do with them as they choose. When my SIL divorced, she had her diamond re-set in a beautiful new setting and wears it on her right hand.

I wear my engagement ring on my right hand. It has 3 lovely stones that one day I will have re-set. My wedding ring is in a pouch along with the earrings I wore on my wedding day. I will never wear that ring again.<BR>I don't even know why I'm keeping it. Maybe for my children. All I know is that I'm not ready to throw it away yet. I have mostly wonderful memories, I can't do it.<BR>

I intend to keep wearing mine. Whatever the legal technicalities, I believe that in God's eyes I will still be married.<P>

<B>jamie-lee</B> - Here is a link to another BB on the same topic. I hope this helps.<BR> <A HREF="http://www.weiner-davis.com/ubb/Forum19/HTML/001238.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.weiner-davis.com/ubb/Forum19/HTML/001238.html</A> <P>NYB

Mine, along with some jewelry I had made for x from my grandfathers diamonds are in a safety deposit box. The box was obtaine by my x to keep a ring the om got her when the first started seeing each other and she refused to give it back or throw it away when we were trying to reconcile the first or second time. When she signed the boc over to me I found out she has only had the ring in there about a week before she took it back out.<P>I am planning to pawn the wedding bands, I think she gave me hers too as I will need the money for property taxes too. X destroyed all meaning I had for them by having the same inscription engraved on a necklace she gave to om that was on our wedding bands.<P>I will keep my grandfather's diamonds, and probably pawn the gold bands if I can. I think I have her engagement ring too. She wanted me to give that to d but I'm not sure at this point.<P>

I wore mine until she said it was over, then I wore it on a chain around my neck until I realized it really <B>WAS</B> over. Now it's somewhere in the drawer of my nightstand. <P>I think on the day my divorce is final I'm going to go take a long walk along the ocean, make a wish, and throw it in.<P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain <BR>and makes the sun come out again

Even though my H & I are still married & occupying the same house neither of us wears their rings. My H took his off in 8-99, then got mad when I took it out of his car, he said I stole it. I wore mine till Christmas 99, after he left for a few hrs to visit OW, I threw mine in his face, told him guess that is what he wanted for Christmas. He had tears in his eyes, but then he lost it. It breaks my heart, that he did. I have his now. I wore my engagement ring till 11-00, but it is now to big, was afraid I lose it. My H has never said anything about it. I have always told H that I would sell it, if we divorce. The rest of the jewelry I think I would keep what I truly like, sell the rest, maybe save it for future granddaughters. Now I wear a very pretty silver & gold ring from James Avery that my sons bought for me on my last birthday.

Ah yes, the rings.....<P>Both of our wedding rings were/are very sentimental for me as the stones in each were handed down through my family as loved ones passed away. For this reason and this reason alone, I asked my ex to return her ring to me as part of the divorce agreement. She quit wearing her ring the same day she told me of her desire to end the marriage and just left it in the drawer of her nightstand when she moved out.<P>I offered to return the setting to her once I removed the main stone as she had picked that setting herself, but she didn't want it.<P>A part of me felt petty by asking for the return of the ring, but since it wasn't for the monetary value of the diamond, I felt justified.<P>I quit wearing mine about a month after she left and it has been in the jewelry box ever since.<P>------------------<BR>“What does not kill me only makes me stronger”<BR> -F. Neitzsche

I gave my ring away.<BR>I got rid of it, because it was a representation of promises and a life i no longer wanted. <BR>It went out with my old life. Burried that person to come alive and rejoice

A friend of mine pawned hers and donated the money to a womens shelter.<BR>WHY<BR>Because if anyone had gone through what she had to she wanted them to beable to receive help as she did.<P>So she supported the organization that supported her.

I offered to give it back. He didn't want it. I had the diamond converted to a necklace as a Master's graduation present to myself. My ex refused to attend my Master's graduation, so I'm doubly glad I had it changed. Months later, I flushed the band down the toilet in a purging ceremony. I also burned his pictures and ceremoniously broke my half of the wedding china, which now resides in a landfill in Atlanta. To me all those things symbolized nothing and were chains to a marriage that never was...for him at least.

I picked out this ring for our 25th anniversay...The one of my dreams...In fact my daughter had always said MOM can I have your ring when you die? I said of course..<P>Well now I haven't worn it ( tried while he was home) but took it off again after he left.<P>Tried it back on the other day when he said he wanted to come home...felt very foreign ...so I put it away again....<P>Surprise!!! H called me this morning sounded like his old self....so maybe just maybe HE will be the one to slip it BACK on my finger once again....IF not and my daughter still wants it( I doubt it) she can have it some day....<P>Tyra

Mine sits in a jewery box, it was specially designed and contains a dimond from my grandfathers ring. I will have it always and maybe pass it down but I want the hex off first!

Jamie Lee,<P>My ex had the diamonds made made into a necklace and ear rings. Believe it or not, my wedding band is still in the jewelry box where it was placed the day it came off. Hasn't been out of the box since.<P>I'm glad the ex didn't pawn the set. But I don't know why. <P>Bumper

I still have my rings in my dresser drawer. My x gave me a new engagement ring back in Sept. 99 and I have the receipt for the ring. I've thought about calling the store several times to see if I can exchange it for something else. But, for some reason, I never make the call. So, it probably means I will keep it but I don't know why. What does it symbolize now?<P>

Hi Jamie-Lee,<P>I was married before. In my first marriage, I had a 1.3 diamond solitaire and also a diamond ring guard. I gave the diamond to my Mom and she had it re-set in another setting for herself. I also gave her the ring guard, but I have no idea what she did with it.<P>If I had kept the solitaire, I probably would have had it set in a pendant. But the reason why I got rid of it was because it bothered my current husband that I still had it.

Hi Jamie Lee,<BR>Interesting question! I'll come back to read all the replies later as I don't have a lot of time.<P>Right now, mine is in my jewelry box. I will keep it for now. I actually lost it for a while and had to really search to find it!<P>Hope your doing well,<BR>Dana<BR>

PS My ex's is still in the console of his car, I saw it when I leaned in to give the baby a kiss. Actually the car is still in my name, but it has a sign in the window that says Ex and OW (their names airbrushed) and OW's picture in it. Its kind of odd to keep the wedding ring in there , don't ya think? lol<BR>Hugs, Dana<BR>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jamie-lee:<BR><B>What did or are you going to do with your wedding rings?<P>a) keep them b) pawn them or c) give them back to ex/stbx? And why?<P>I'm undecided and was curious about what you guys have done.<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>(b) pawn my ring. Had no choice. My XH moved back with me - see my post (XH moved back, no sex, no ring. Anyway, he has not found a job since July?? Only unemployment checks. So I pay most of the bills. He needed money for his car payment. He does not know how I got the money. When we divorced a year ago I asked if he wanted my ring back. He said no. I asked to have his ring back because he broke our marriage vows. It just about killed him to return it, but he did.<BR>

I'm thinking about pawning mine. Maybe I'll get a sub at Quiznos with the money.

Wow, I was wondering this same thing.<P>My x left his on my bathroom countertop. I have all of the rings and they just sit. My MIL told me she had hers made into another piece of jewelry, which seems to be what most people seem to lean toward. I love my rings and it makes me sad that I'll never wear them again.<P>I have another questions, ladies:<P>What have you done with your wedding dress? My MIL said she burned hers in the fireplace. I don't think I could go that far, but why let it take up space. I would never pass it down to a child or grandchild because I would feel like I'm passing on a curse or something (I guess I feel the same about my rings). What to do??<P><P>------------------<BR><BR>Kathy