So guess who is supposed to show up anytime now?!?

Yah! She is driving in from Albuquerque , NM and should be here at anytime.I’ll let ya’ know what happens.

Hi Chris,I'm not sure of your story at the moment but I'm assuming 'she' is your W??Good Luck........I hope none of this is inappropriate - should have gone back and read previous posts first.Happy New Year friend and here's to only good things coming for all of us..hugsJo

She is upstairs as we speak. She came in and I came downstairs.

Chris,OMG! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] I'm am stunned! She actually showed up when she was supposed to? Are pigs flying?? I better check outside!There should be a "devil horns" graemlin, shouldn't there? Well, I am pleasantly surprised that she at least showed up--that's a good thing (I think). It shows she might be "growing up" a bit, and I think it is still good for the kids to have time with their mom. I'll keep praying for you and your kids, though, because you never know what's going to happen next!! "Father, please be with Chris and his children as they prepare for a visit with his wife. First, give his wife wisdom and maturity enough to be a parent to the children and think of them first. Second, protect the children and in their innocence allow them to enjoy the time with their mom. And finally, give Chris peace and strength and courage to watch his children visit with his former wife. Surround him with Your love and Your presence."CJ

Are pigs flying??
As a matter of fact, I did get one from Carol, who used to post here on MB with her husband Glenn. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] There should be a "devil horns" graemlin, shouldn't there?
The electricity in the neighborhood went out about 15 minutes after she got here & came back on 2 minutes after she left!!It shows she might be "growing up" a bit,
No, it shows she happened to be in NM, right next to Colorado as opposed to somewhere east of the Mississippi. It’s not like she went out of her way for the visit.[ January 01, 2002: Message edited by: Chris (CA123) ]

Darn it Chris, gimme details ! Did you have a chance to talk to her about the divorce ? How did the girls react to her being there. Tell man tell. BTW, you sound good Chris.

She walked in the door, I picked up my guitar and went downstairs.We never said anything to each other. I didn’t even look at her.No, I am not going to tell her anything about the divorce.The girls (16 &11) were okay with her. They talked for about 2 hours upstairs in the living room by candlelight. She is supposed to come over tomorrow & bring lunch for them.Here is the really sad part. My youngest & I spent New Years Eve at her sisters in Denver, about an hour away. On the way home this afternoon (Tuesday) my youngest told me, “Dad, why don’t you just give Mom a big hug & maybe you’ll get back together?”Tonight after she left I was tucking in my youngest & she says, “Dad, just give Mom a big kiss & tell her you love her & maybe she’ll stay.”I did tell her I have tried for 3 years to do all this but she doesn’t even want to live in the same town as us let alone come home.So I guess I, not mom, get to be the one to give her a dose of reality. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img][ January 02, 2002: Message edited by: Chris (CA123) ]

Chris,I feel bad for your younger one. I hate to think she has any false hopes of reconciliation. Do you think this entire episode will be more hurtful in the long run or perhaps healing for the girls? Thinking of you all,Desiree

<blockquote>quote:<hr>Originally posted by Chris (CA123):
So I guess I, not mom, get to be the one to give her a dose of reality. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]
<hr></blockquote>Though I'm sure it hurt her to hear it, I'm doubly sure that her hearing it from the father who loves, cares for, and stays with her, cushioned the blow. She'll remember that Mom hurt her, and Dad soothed her, and that will help her heal.

Chris -It always makes me sad to hear more stories like mine. I have 3 children (4,2, and 8 months) and my ex H left us when I was 8 months pregnant for one of my best friends. Anyway, my two girls always hold out hope we will get back together. (Which won't happen for many reasons, especially since he married OW.) The four year old watched "The Parent Trap" and decided she should try to pull a trick so we would love each other again. The 2 year old said "Why don't you marry Daddy so we could live in the same house?" (It is so sad to me that my 2 year old is having to think about this stuff.) It all just breaks my heart. I hope your W is able to give your children what they need, and that they don't get hurt by her again and again. And I hope you are able to deal with all the stress that this brings. BTW, I'm an hour from Denver too!

Are you sure this wasn't some apparition you all saw? That it was really her? I'm with CJ. I have seen some funny things lately but this would be the strangest.

Chris,
Any update? I can't even imagine what seeing your W after so long must be like.Sending good thoughts & prayers your way.

Does she have any idea yet that she's divorced in less than 16 days?

Hey Chris,This must just be so bizzare to see your W after a 3 year absence. I'm surprised she even remembered how to find the house.Did you two not talk at all??? I'm wondering how she must feel, must be fraught with guilt, how can she not be. Maybe you should have offered her a coke, or was it Pepsi she likes? [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] .... sorry Chris, couldn't resist.I don't know how you do it, Chris. You're truly to be admired.Lv,
Jo

I hate to think she has any false hopes of reconciliation.
I don't think she has any false hopes of it, just wishful thinking perhaps.Do you think this entire episode will be more hurtful in the long run or perhaps healing for the girls?
I believe it will be more helpful in that at least they know mom actually took some time out of her life for them.I'm in the Springs.She was here yesterday 'till 8 PM. She came over about 11 this morning and brought lunch for the girls. She left about 4 and called about 6 to tell the girls she was going to leave tonight as the weather is supposed to get bad and she has 400 miles to go. She was supposed to leave tomorrow. Our 22nd anniversary is Sat.She came back about 6. My youngest let her in. She sat down & I offered her a cup of tea. That was it. She is upstairs now & should leave in about 45 minutes.My oldest was gone most of the day with her boyfriend. They just came home and they are in the basement now. Mom is upstairs watching the youngest play video games. Fun...I can't even imagine what seeing your W after so long must be like.
Not much at all. I only looked at her for about 10 seconds to offer her a cup of tea.She was here Tuesday for a few hours & Wed all day 'till 8. Last night at work I did feel the stress quite a bit but after thinking about it, why let it bother me, which is why I offered her a cup of tea.Does she have any idea yet that she's divorced in less than 16 days?
Not unless she is psychic.Did you two not talk at all???
Nada, except for the offer of tea.Maybe you should have offered her a coke, or was it Pepsi she likes?
She likes Coke. She went to KFC, which is owned by Pepsi & only offers Pepsi.

Chris,Mainly I am just amazed at your wife, the mother of your children. I am a mother who doesn't like to be away from my children for more than a few days. I missed them terribly when they were gone for a week. I was sick the whole week which helped me but as soon as I was better that motherly instinct of wanting them under my roof came back.I don't want to judge her but I just don't get it...but I bet you don't either.Take care,ANNA

HI Chris,
Sending lots of prayers and positive energy your way.
I understand about you having to explain to the youngest daughter, and eventually she will understand all of it. Just keep being a great mom and dad for her! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]
How is the skiing? Aloha, cl

She was supposed to leave 2 hours ago but hasn't...

She is still with daughters?
You could always offer to 'talk'?

She is still with daughters?
My youngest was upstairs the whole time. The oldest didn't show up till after 7 and was downstairs half the time waiting for her to leave so she could go over to her boyfriends house.She said she was going to leave at 8 but sat there till 11:15 watching the youngest play video games.You could always offer to 'talk'?
Something in me wanted to, but I have nothing to talk about. I didn't want to bring it up with nothing to say.
Shoulda, woulda, coulda???She got up, gave the girls a hug & kiss and left. I was going to tell her thanks for visiting the kids (yes in a serious, non-sarcastic way) but she was gone like that.So as soon as she walked out the door, my oldest left and my youngest came out to the kitchen bawling her eyes out. She said it was because her legs hurt from sitting all day (and she was sitting in the same chair ALL day). I told her it was okay to be upset and I loved her bunches. We talked a bit. I think it was a combo of being tired, mom leaving, sitting in the house for 3 days.
?!? [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]

Don't know why I am putting a sad face here, except that I find this incredibly sad, Chris. Hugs to you. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

Chris,
I wish I had all the words to describe the gambit of feelings I have after reading all this.The really sad part is the absolute reckless nature in which your daughters are treated. This is obvious. The other thing that gets me is the total self-centered nature of wayward spouces. It is hard to imagine such self-obsession but there it is...Hopefully someday she can wake up and make amends to her daughters for the pain inflicted on them. Maybe your daughters won't grow to resent thier mom and allow any potential relationship to prosper.My hat goes of to you for being of such cool nature even though deep down you probably wanted to rip her lungs out and chop them into pieces.Love you brother,
Bill

Yeah...I feel sad for you too.... gee, your wife is going thru some confusing times and being with her kids may bring some comfort. I'm sorry all that it's doing to you. When is the last time she's been with them?Like Anna, it's hard for me to imagine abandoning the children...Warmly,
Nicole

Don't know why I am putting a sad face here, except that I find this incredibly sad, Chris.
Yeah it is.deep down you probably wanted to rip her lungs out and chop them into pieces.
I didn't. I'm past all the bad feelings now. I stayed downstairs so she could be with the kids and also because I just didn't have ANYTHING to say to her good or bad.When is the last time she's been with them?
Back in May 99 for 5 days.Almost forgot. I wasn't stressed out. I went to bed about 1:45AM and I just woke up at 4:30PM. No, no stress at all. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img][ January 04, 2002: Message edited by: Chris (CA123) ]

R U Serious?The mother of her children has been gone for 2 1/2 years?! Or was that a typo...Geeszh.

Chris,How are the girls doing? Have they started to get back into their routines, especially your youngest? It is so hard on children and sadly there is little you can do to protect them from what Donna has done. Now that she has left has your stress level dropped?Take care and God Bless,JL

Chris,I knew your W had been gone a long time without seeing the girls, but I had no idea it was 2+ years. You have my utmost respect and admiration, Chris. God Bless you and your girls.Jo

[ January 06, 2002: Message edited by: Xman ]

Thanks Xman! I hope you are feeling better today.ANNA[ January 06, 2002: Message edited by: Anna2000 ]

[ January 06, 2002: Message edited by: father of 1, husband of 0 ]

Hey Chris,Hope all is back to normal for you and your girls.ANNA[ January 06, 2002: Message edited by: Anna2000 ]

[ January 06, 2002: Message edited by: Anna2000 ]

Don't know where all that came from?!?Can't say I recall any posts from you xman. Just kinda curious as to why you would dog on me so bad?[ January 06, 2002: Message edited by: Chris (CA123) ]

Morning Chris,
How are the girls now? Hope they are talking and can be open with you about their feelings toward their mother.
It is really sad that neither of you had anything to say to each other. Appears a closed chapter at this point.
Your 16 yr old seems to be reacting normally for her age! I smiled when you said she was just waiting for mother to leave so she could see boyfriend. Pretty well adjusted I would say. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]
Aloha, clXman, what is your real issue?