Hello all,<p>Long time no see. I have finally given up. The only decision left for me is where to move to. Do I move near my practice or 20 miles away to be near my daughter? Any suggestions?

Being close to your child(ren should take priority over your practice. It is important to have a role in bringing up your child. You can't do that very well if you live too far.

I agree with tomaz...the kiddos need to come first now...<p>In a few years when she's older, you can move closer to work--right now she needs to know that Dad's nearby if she needs him.

John,<p>Unfortunately I don't any details of your story.<p>How old is your d?<p>Does she have good friends in the new town?<p>Which town is she used to living in?<p>What type of parenting plan do you have?<p>My x moved out of our small town to another small town 20 miles away. I stayed in the first town because it was were my girls' friends and stability were at. A year later my X is moving once again to another town about 25 miles away, which happens to be the town I work in, again I plan on staying in my small town. We have shared custody so there has been quite a bit of driving going on but I do believe that it is worth it.

Situation is as follows: Right now we live in a central location and commute about 30-50 miles in opposite directions. My chief concern is that I'm going to be used as an "oncall" babysitter for my daughter for my soon to be ex-wife who likes to do all night dancing and parties. While I don't mind being with my daughter at all, I have been used enough and I don't know if living too close is going to make it too easy for her to continue her trend.<p>I love my daughter with all my heart and I have stayed in this relationship longer than I should have at her (my daughter's) request to try and keep our family together. But my wife refused to stop going out with her "girlfriends" despite her continual promises to me and my daughter that she would stop.<p>So my quandary is if I move close by, that will just enable her habit of going out by being a free "babysitter" nearby. <p>Any additional thoughts?

DEFINATELY MOVE CLOSER!!!!! Without a doubt. Your daughter needs a parent there and if your x isn't going to be there then you are obligated to be there.<p>You are in no way enableing anyone except yourself. Your x is going to have the lifestyle she desires whether the child is with you or with a babysitter. Therefore, by moving closer you are enabling yourself to spend more quality time with your daughter and you have the opportunity to form a very special bond with her.<p>I don't know what your "Custody" arrangements are, but document everything and there may come a point soon where you will want to go for primary due to the lifestyle choices of the x....<p>Best of luck....

what he said (bill, that is!).<p>Your wife is going to continue her behavior with or without your 'help'. Won't you feel better knowing that your daughter is safe with you rather than with someone else?

Opt for the kid......
You'll feel good about it and she'll know dad chose her over his own convience......that's a plus in this day and age.<p>D2K

John,<p>Not that you need another vote, but move closer to your daughter. I know that you're going to feel that your wife is taking advantage of you---but the bottom line is that your daughter will be in better hands with you than with anyone else.<p>You might want to keep a log of these behaviors, if you'd like to revisit physical custody arrangements in the future.

John,<p>Just curious if you've reached a decision yet, if so please give us an update.

I just wanted to thank all of your for your responses, I have chosen to look for a place near my daughter as opposed to near my office. Of all the responses I have received both online and in private. Only 2 people recommended I stay close to my practice.<p>One was my financial advisor who said, you have so much work that wasting an hour a day driving will cost you in the long run and you would be better off to live closer to your practice to make it more successful to ensure that you will have the funds you need to put your daughter through the schools she needs to go to and still retire at a decent age.