What the heck is exh thinking?? - 08/30/02 05:02 AM
Haven't posted for long time, but some issues have come up that are confusing me and I am looking for input.
We were divorced 5 yrsa ago this week, as ex left me for other woman he still lives with. They have been engaged for almost two yrs but no date insite. He says they still have issues that need to be worked out.
In march, I had to have major surgery and did not want ex to even know about it, but one of my kids [all live out of state], said something to his grandmother and it got back to my ex. He calls wanting all the details, etc, and I told him minimal info and that I had 2 gf's who were taking me to hospital, etc. The Sunday before surgery he comes over and takes me to a movie "to get my mind off everythin. The night before surgery he shows up to give me moral support, and the morning of surgery he arrives the same time as my girlfriend. He goes to hospital, acting just like my husband and even kissed me as I was being put on the guerney. When I woke up 12 hrs later, he was still sitting ing the room. He called me twice daily and then came and took me home on Easter, without my even asking him-I already had ride arranged. After that, he called me daily for three weeks.
Another thing he did, was to use his frequent flyer miles and had our daughter come for a week to take care of me--This really upset OW. Supposedly if I wanted daughter her, then I should have been the one to arrange a ticket.
I was told by him and he also told our children that no one was to tell OW that he gave me any help at all---she was out of town at the time!
Since then we have gone to lunch several times, again not known by OW. During some of our conversations, he mentioned OW might be leaving and he was getting prepared, by buying another bedrom set, etc. However, from my viewpoint and my children's they get along ok and she isn't going anywhere. Why he deceived me I'm not sure.
Another thing-our wedding anniversay was last weekend. I received an email from him stating he remembered what day it was and hopes I continue to feel well. On Monday he emails me to invite me to lunch and said he would email back on Tues with day and time. I have not heard a word!That is not like him.
OUr daughter is due to have first baby in Dec. I asked ex if he would be going up to see her in Dec and he told me no, that it was more of a mother's thing. I find out last night from daughter that he bought tickedts for him and OW to go there at xmas time. OW has also gone to many garage sales and has sent one suitcase and a box of stuff for the baby! In March, my ex and OW went to see daughter and suggested adoption or possible AB!
What do you all see going on here? He says one thing and then does something else. I thought I was all over him, but the niceness with my surgery made me think he had second thoughts, but guess I was totally wrong. Right now I just want to smack him senseless. I fell he is somehow still trying to keep me dangling! Any advice or opinions?
We were divorced 5 yrsa ago this week, as ex left me for other woman he still lives with. They have been engaged for almost two yrs but no date insite. He says they still have issues that need to be worked out.
In march, I had to have major surgery and did not want ex to even know about it, but one of my kids [all live out of state], said something to his grandmother and it got back to my ex. He calls wanting all the details, etc, and I told him minimal info and that I had 2 gf's who were taking me to hospital, etc. The Sunday before surgery he comes over and takes me to a movie "to get my mind off everythin. The night before surgery he shows up to give me moral support, and the morning of surgery he arrives the same time as my girlfriend. He goes to hospital, acting just like my husband and even kissed me as I was being put on the guerney. When I woke up 12 hrs later, he was still sitting ing the room. He called me twice daily and then came and took me home on Easter, without my even asking him-I already had ride arranged. After that, he called me daily for three weeks.
Another thing he did, was to use his frequent flyer miles and had our daughter come for a week to take care of me--This really upset OW. Supposedly if I wanted daughter her, then I should have been the one to arrange a ticket.
I was told by him and he also told our children that no one was to tell OW that he gave me any help at all---she was out of town at the time!
Since then we have gone to lunch several times, again not known by OW. During some of our conversations, he mentioned OW might be leaving and he was getting prepared, by buying another bedrom set, etc. However, from my viewpoint and my children's they get along ok and she isn't going anywhere. Why he deceived me I'm not sure.
Another thing-our wedding anniversay was last weekend. I received an email from him stating he remembered what day it was and hopes I continue to feel well. On Monday he emails me to invite me to lunch and said he would email back on Tues with day and time. I have not heard a word!That is not like him.
OUr daughter is due to have first baby in Dec. I asked ex if he would be going up to see her in Dec and he told me no, that it was more of a mother's thing. I find out last night from daughter that he bought tickedts for him and OW to go there at xmas time. OW has also gone to many garage sales and has sent one suitcase and a box of stuff for the baby! In March, my ex and OW went to see daughter and suggested adoption or possible AB!
What do you all see going on here? He says one thing and then does something else. I thought I was all over him, but the niceness with my surgery made me think he had second thoughts, but guess I was totally wrong. Right now I just want to smack him senseless. I fell he is somehow still trying to keep me dangling! Any advice or opinions?