Hi friends,

I just wanted to share my happy news with some of you who were there to help when I was far less happy…

I’m getting married!

I met a terrific man in January of last year and we have been dating and growing closer ever since. (not to mention completing personal histories, emotional needs forms, etc – it’s “work” dating a MB-girl!)

But kidding aside, he is kind, generous, open and loving (and really cute!), and my kids are very excited (as is his 16 yr old daughter!). I think we are looking at a small wedding in the fall. Call it love with your eyes wide open, or the triumph of hope over experience, but it is sweeter than anything I could have imagined. There is something to be said for falling in love and making commitments as a grown-up. I have a confidence in this relationship based not only on “love” but the knowledge I have gained in how to nourish and keep that love.

I am fortunate that my XH continues to be connected to my boys, seeing them regularly even though he lives out of state. Our co-parenting is not perfect, but for the most part is amazingly cooperative. He is marrying the OW this summer. And the pain of this has faded. I read Chris on another thread – we are not all best friends, but I feel I have forgiven.

Thanks to all who stood by me.

Starpony

PS: And yes, for those of you who don’t know me since this always seems to come up: my divorce had been final for a couple months when I started dating – and my XH had moved out about 2 and a half years before that…STBH and I have dated about 15 mos <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> )

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!

It's always great reading good news about Oldtimers! (Even if it's not what we wished for when we all first started posting here!)

Best of luck to you!!!

Mitzi <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Starpony,

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. It has been a long time hasn't it? I am so glad that you are happy and have found the right person.

God Bless,

JL

Starpony---what great news. It is great to hear of a workable soon-to-be marriage. It seems like a real oddity today to have 2 people working on and cherishing their love for each other...AND he is cute, too!!!!!! You hit the jackpot

TW

This is the best news possible! I am so happy for you. You've come through this as such a winner. Best wishes to you and the boys on the fabulous news.

Thanks all!

Mitz, nice to see you. Congrats on your continued happiness.

Hey JL, yep, been a long time. I've come a long way though too. Hope you are well.

TW - thanks for the good wishes.

Distressed - Hi my friend. I wondered if this would smoke you out... Hope you are happy too and the kids are doing well. How about an update from you at some point?

best wishes to all,
Starpony

Starpony,

Congrats..what wonderful news!!

I'd like to recommend another book for the two of you to read..

It's called "The Smart Step-Family" Seven Steps to a Healthy Family, by Ron L. Deal

It describes some of the problems step families face--

It suggests you talk to other step-families about

1. what their three greatest challenges have been

2. How could they have better prepared themselves for step-family living?

3. What painful emotions from the past did they not resolve well enough prior to marriage?

4. What blessings have they experienced and at what price?

it goes over what the role of the parent/ step-parent should have at first with the kids--and how to build those relationships..

and it talks about emotions that the kids might have at the finality of knowing their parents will never get back together..even though on one level they understand this..certain emotions can
begin to surface..

It discusses how to combine family holiday traditions..

It has a lot of information..

It says that it takes an average of seven years to really integrate a step-family..

My fiance found the book one day, so we have been reading it together..and working through the discussion questions..

It also has some great questions for those who are engaged--

The way I look at it..anything that will give me something to help me grow and learn to have a better relationship..is well worth the reading..

Have you considered pre-marriage counseling?
I realize your not planning a big church wedding
and all, but it's something to maybe look at..

I know the counseling we have been going through has gone over communication skills, conflict resolution skills, role relationship--and lots of other information..

<small>[ April 26, 2003, 08:45 AM: Message edited by: ThornedRose ]</small>

Great to hear the news. It's enough to give the rest of us old-timers some hope.

Lots of times I dream of the day when there will be someone around to meet some of my emotional needs. I'm so glad it's happening for you.

Congratulations, Starpony!!!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I'm so very happy for you, Starpony. You're blessed.

Thank you for sharing the good news!

Love,
Jo

Dear Starpony

(sniff) I love happy endings, or in your case...Beginnings! It must be something special to have the MB principles under your belt, be all grown up and mature and entering into a new marriage with all that education and growth.

If you love him, he must be wonderful.

I wish you every happiness and a new marrige of love, honesty, trust and fidelity.

Catnip =^^=

Hi all,

TR, thanks, book recommendations are always welcome. I think you can never be too prepared. I have been doing some reading already and we are looking into counseling too.

Cinderella, K, Resilient - thanks for your good wishes.

And...catnip! Thanks so very much for your wishes too. I do think it is great to have all this growth "behind me", but I feel equally excited to think about all the growth i have ahead.

hugs to all,
Starpony