Grrrr...Brief Rant on Post-Divorce Parenting... - 11/11/03 03:30 AM
Everything's been pretty peaceful between me and the X for awhile, but it went down the tube tonight.
XW has recently moved into a condo paid for by her BF (he doesn't live there, btw). I know he's been more involved in D's life lately, and I don't grudge him that, since he seems to be a positive influence on her.
I called to talk to D, but she's spending the night at a friends' house. I got the number, and called, but she was out at the mall with her friend. The mom, whom I haven't met, apologized for not getting my permission for her to go to the mall, and I said "that's okay, she doesn't live with me anymore..."
To which she replied "oh, you're her real dad..."
That threw me for a loop, 'cause I didn't know she had any other dads!
I figured it was probably just a misunderstanding, but it stuck in my mind "does she think BF is the dad? Why would she think that?"
Like a fool, I called the XW and asked her.
She flew off the handle in under 5 seconds, saying how I was "jealous" of BF and how I "needed to get over it." She got real defensive and really angry really fast. I kept my cool, apologized for bringing it up, and said goodbye.
It is still bothering me, though.
Like I said, I don't really have a problem with this guy...heck, I've never met him (his choice, though I've offered), but it scares me to think that he's so much more "present" in her life that others might assume he's the dad.
Do I have a right to be even a little bothered by that?
If your XS called and expressed a concern over parenting roles would you be offended?
Or is one (or both) of us just nuts?
Sorry for the rant. I know its not a big thing, it's just throwing my night off and I needed to vent.
Thanks.
<small>[ November 10, 2003, 09:32 PM: Message edited by: cjack ]</small>
XW has recently moved into a condo paid for by her BF (he doesn't live there, btw). I know he's been more involved in D's life lately, and I don't grudge him that, since he seems to be a positive influence on her.
I called to talk to D, but she's spending the night at a friends' house. I got the number, and called, but she was out at the mall with her friend. The mom, whom I haven't met, apologized for not getting my permission for her to go to the mall, and I said "that's okay, she doesn't live with me anymore..."
To which she replied "oh, you're her real dad..."
That threw me for a loop, 'cause I didn't know she had any other dads!
I figured it was probably just a misunderstanding, but it stuck in my mind "does she think BF is the dad? Why would she think that?"
Like a fool, I called the XW and asked her.
She flew off the handle in under 5 seconds, saying how I was "jealous" of BF and how I "needed to get over it." She got real defensive and really angry really fast. I kept my cool, apologized for bringing it up, and said goodbye.
It is still bothering me, though.
Like I said, I don't really have a problem with this guy...heck, I've never met him (his choice, though I've offered), but it scares me to think that he's so much more "present" in her life that others might assume he's the dad.
Do I have a right to be even a little bothered by that?
If your XS called and expressed a concern over parenting roles would you be offended?
Or is one (or both) of us just nuts?
Sorry for the rant. I know its not a big thing, it's just throwing my night off and I needed to vent.
Thanks.
<small>[ November 10, 2003, 09:32 PM: Message edited by: cjack ]</small>