9-1-1 WW wants a separation - 04/21/04 02:54 PM
A day that I dreaded but expected has come. My WW has asked me for a separation.To summarize my situation: Our M was okay but very little sex and no passion. W confided with ex-boss (his M was in bad shape too)and they began an EA last Oct. PA began Jan 04 (DDay 3/20/04). W's mom died last Sept and she is in the "life's too short to be unhappy" stage. We have 3 little girls, the youngest is 10 months old with developmental delay and has 5 therapists. We both still live at home. I have been in an excellent plan A for 2 months. We both see IC but no MC.
Anyways, got a letter from her yesterday saying that it has been 3 months since she told me that she was questioning her feelings for me and nothing has changed. She hasn't been able to sleep for a month. She has been in contact with OM the whole time but they have decided to go NC for a while so both can work on their Ms. She tells me how OM met all of her needs and that she wanted him too. She may love the OM.She says that if our M ends, it won't be due to the OM but because she can't get any feelings back for me (NO KIDDING, how can you if you're involved with someone else). She says I deserve someone who feels about me the way I feel about them. She can't believe that I can forgive her (I do, I'm a Christian). She wants I trial separation so that she can "figure things out and see if she misses me". I haven't responded to her yet, she thinks that I will be the one to move out as I have asked her in the past if that's something she wants. However, I did not have the A and I will NOT move out. That's not fair to me or our girls. My Mom/Dad are retired and can give me all the help I need. Money is not a problem.
What do I do here?? How can you "work on the M if you're separated?? Do I consult a lawyer?? Do I insist on MC?? How long should a separation be?? I never thought our problems were so bad that we couldn't work them out. HELP ME PLEASE!
Anyways, got a letter from her yesterday saying that it has been 3 months since she told me that she was questioning her feelings for me and nothing has changed. She hasn't been able to sleep for a month. She has been in contact with OM the whole time but they have decided to go NC for a while so both can work on their Ms. She tells me how OM met all of her needs and that she wanted him too. She may love the OM.She says that if our M ends, it won't be due to the OM but because she can't get any feelings back for me (NO KIDDING, how can you if you're involved with someone else). She says I deserve someone who feels about me the way I feel about them. She can't believe that I can forgive her (I do, I'm a Christian). She wants I trial separation so that she can "figure things out and see if she misses me". I haven't responded to her yet, she thinks that I will be the one to move out as I have asked her in the past if that's something she wants. However, I did not have the A and I will NOT move out. That's not fair to me or our girls. My Mom/Dad are retired and can give me all the help I need. Money is not a problem.
What do I do here?? How can you "work on the M if you're separated?? Do I consult a lawyer?? Do I insist on MC?? How long should a separation be?? I never thought our problems were so bad that we couldn't work them out. HELP ME PLEASE!