</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by ThornedRose:
<strong> GnomeDePlume,
Please try not to get frustrated at her lack of interest--that could be a blessing in disquise for you--</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No disguise is necessary. Our relationship has been a blessing to both of us, and since neither of us were ready for romance when my interest first developed, her lack of interest has ensured that our friendship has grown at a healthy pace and in a healthy manner.
I am a patient man, and I think that if I
knew my feelings would be reciprocated
some day, I would be ecstatic with how our relationship is progressing. But since I
don't know that, I struggle with my feelings, fearing that my fixation on her is preventing me from seeing other possibilities clearly.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>Take the time to ask trusted friends and pastor what they see in her--as a potential mate for you--what do they see in her as far as her growth in Christ--as to where you are in your walk--</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is a bit tricky. Out of respect for her feelings, I have avoided talking about "us" with our mutual friends. However, most of those friends know that I am interested in
someone, and a fair number of them - perhaps all by now, for all I know - have figured out who that someone is. Not one has offered me an opinion about our suitability for each other, and not one has attempted to discourage my interest. This includes the pastor with whom I have discussed the situation from the beginning (since I wanted someone to hold me accountable for my behavior toward this woman).
The typical reaction from mutual friends goes along the lines of: "Well, of course! She's an amazing woman. How could you
not be interested?"
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>Look at her spiritual walk away from your's--does she study the word on her own? Is she actively growing in her own relationship with Christ? How is her prayer life away from you? with you? do you pray together? if not, have you tried to pray with her, if so what was her response? Do you study the bible together? or talk about what your learning from your own studies? does she share what she's learning with you?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Her spiritual walk is progressing beautifully - as is my own. She studies the Bible
and thinks and has an active prayer life. In fact, just about any time someone talks to her about a concern, her reaction is "Let's pray about it." We belong to the same Bible study group, we share what we are learning frequently, and we give each other verses of encouragement.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>I know for some that might sound strange--but if your overlooking these areas--and going totally on well--she goes to church with me--or she reads the bible with me occassionally--and God can change those areas--you'll struggle--because if your relationship with Christ is an area you don't want to compromise--(and I believe that it is) then she needs to be strong in her own walk and her own relationship with Christ---you really should make sure she's following Christ for herself--and not for you--</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Heh. The bigger question, given the fact that
I'm the one interested while
she's not, is whether
I'm the one following Christ for
her. But both of us are putting Christ first, and we both know it.
I completely agree that this is not an area in which compromise is acceptable.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>And right now, as she's not wanting to move things forward it gives you the opportunity to look at things from all angles--to make sure it's really God's BEST for you!!</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Indeed! And believe me, I've agonized over this question, along with the question of whether it's really God's best for
her. Unfortunately, everything I consider suggests that it
could be, which doesn't help me let my hopes die.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>I realize none of this may apply to you in the relationship at this point--but if your wanting to move things forward--they are worth looking at--</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Heh. I
don't want to move things forward. If our relationship is going to progress in that direction, then I want
God to move it forward. As I see it, my job is just to be myself, live my life according to what God shows me to do, and
love this woman in whatever ways respect her boundaries.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>or they may be thing's she's looking at and wanting to see if your walk is for real--or if she think's it's all an act just for her--and something that will change once she takes that step forward--</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Actually, I think she just doesn't see me as the kind of man she would want to marry. Maybe it's the age gap, or maybe it's something else. But since she isn't interested in pursuing marriage prospects at this time in her life, I'm not sure that she has given sufficient thought to what kind of man she
would want.
But as for me, I'm pretty sure she knows I'm for real. She has ample opportunity to see what I'm doing with my life in areas that have nothing to do with her.