why do people assume that because you get a divorce that you should be looking for someone new, should be dating blah blah blah. They only want you to be happy...if you turn a lunch offer or a dinner offer down, you are given the 3rd degree. UHG... It really irritates me that everyone else thinks they seem to know what I need. What do they care if I don't want to date? If I say I am not ready they tell me that I am not "opening" myself to it. What the heck is that?????? I was asked out to dinner and didn't know what to say so I say "yea, ok" when really I am not ready for that. Even just a friend. It just feels weird to me. He said to "let him know" Do I wait till it's brought up again or make a point to stop and see him or call and let them know that I am not ready for that? Do I need to explain my feelings to people??? Just needed to vent, sorry so long..

Hi!

I think if the question was left open like that, and you feel the way you say you do, stop by and say you appreciate the offer, but your not ready.

Even if it is as a friend, if your not ready, your not ready. You would most likely be uncomfortable and not enjoy the meal.

I have wondered the same about people. Not so much the dating, but other aspects.
I was a stay at home mom. I was still able to be after the divorce. Several of my friends thought that I should get a job.
I'm now working part-time, and it is indeed one of the friends that brought up my name to the emloyer, that thought of me for the job.

I think they are trying to fix us. They couldn't fix our marriage, so they are trying to help us get back up on our feet now.

Good luck to you,
I suggest continuing as you are, when your ready, you will know.
K.

dsd67,

the fact that you are able to post your feelings about this dinner show that you know how you feel about it.

Be honest about how you feel about it and you can't loose

WIWH

patience,

your friends are doing what they think is right for you. Love them for caring enough about you to be open. Just be open back and say no thank you!

Be as detailed as your comfortable to be, and nothing more.

why do people assume that because you get a divorce that you should be looking for someone new, should be dating blah blah blah.
For the same reason that many people think that the ONLY way to move on is to look for someone new, date, blah, blah, blah.
You CAN go to the amusement park and enjoy it without getting on the roller coaster. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />