Engaged??? For NOW - 02/20/09 06:29 PM
I am so glad i found this site....MY story is very long and very complicated....
Basically my Fiance and I have been engaged for about 4 months now and have been "Officially" together for about 9 months. When we first met our relationship started off purely platonic I had just had a baby girl from a previous relationship and he just foundout that he was ecpecting a child from another woman. Now i dont know why we continued on with so many issues but we CHOOSE to do so and HAVE in the END gotten very close and fallen in LOVE. NOW there have been issues on both ends as far as infidelity and honesty.
TIMELINE: We meet Nov. 19, 2007...hung out a couple of times, were never intimate...unitl April 1, 2008. in March of 2008 he found out that he was being deployed to Iraq. he left for mission April 28th. Now when he left we still hadnt expressed what we were or what our expectations for each other were. Not knowing where we stood i then began seeig someone else in which i realized rather quickly wasnt the person for me. Well by this time June of 2008, me and my FIANCE became officail as a committed couple, but all of this has been difficult because of both of our previous relationships. I CUT OFF all ties with my previous relationships except for my daughters father, but he didnt. He at the time was still conversing with other women via internet and phones. In affect he was giving awya emotions and time that i felt should have been reserved for me only. Well we worked throught thiis issue and agreed to START over with our relatioship and do it RIGHT...Well in Dec I found out that I was pregnant and as soon as i found out I told him. At this time We discussed all of our options and our future. At the time I wasnt quite sure if the baby was or wasnt his and we discussed that also in detail. As of today we now have confirmation that the baby isnt his. We have discussed us still staying together and working through this to continue building on what we have....BUT there are so many factors left to consider....HE tells me that he still LOVES me, but I have the thought in the back of my mine that at this point that isnt enough. I lOVE him with all of my heart and i dont want to hurt him any further.
The issue that is mainly a problem is if FAMILY: I have never meet them because of the distance and situation of our becoming a couple..(Alot of things lapped over with us..like his offical divorce, the birth of his son, the ending of the relationship w/ his son's mom) His family feels like I am the reason for the ending of the previous relationship, when in fact his son's mother was(she lied about the baby..He is not my Fiance's biologically either, she has a criminal record ect, ect)He nor I have ever really sat down with his family adn explained point by point what happened..WE always lived by What happens in our HOUSE is our Business. But NOW he has taken to reaching out to them about our situation....So to me no matter how much I talk or try to explain what happened, I am still view as the woman who tried to trap their son, brother, ect,ect.
I have apologized prfusely to my FIANCE, and his family and also My own...I have tried to convey what exactly was happening with us and me at the time and it just seems like no one understands:
In a nutshell I became pregnant after a fight that we had that centered around his son's mom and her blantant disrespect towards me...I figured We hadnt committed to each other, we hadnt even discussed a future so why should I have to deal with this woman calling my me, emailing vulgar things and harrassing me at my place of employment...Essentailly I gave him an ultimatium either get yourself situated or lose whatever it is we are trying to build.....In time he and I corrected our issues and have grown stonger as a couple, but NOw that I am due to have this baby I dont know where we stand, as far as us staying to together.
I just think that it is so ironic that I CHOOSE to put up with all of his issues before and after we had committed to each other and I cant even get an honest answer as to how, if, we can work through this.....
ANY ADVICE PLEASE help
Basically my Fiance and I have been engaged for about 4 months now and have been "Officially" together for about 9 months. When we first met our relationship started off purely platonic I had just had a baby girl from a previous relationship and he just foundout that he was ecpecting a child from another woman. Now i dont know why we continued on with so many issues but we CHOOSE to do so and HAVE in the END gotten very close and fallen in LOVE. NOW there have been issues on both ends as far as infidelity and honesty.
TIMELINE: We meet Nov. 19, 2007...hung out a couple of times, were never intimate...unitl April 1, 2008. in March of 2008 he found out that he was being deployed to Iraq. he left for mission April 28th. Now when he left we still hadnt expressed what we were or what our expectations for each other were. Not knowing where we stood i then began seeig someone else in which i realized rather quickly wasnt the person for me. Well by this time June of 2008, me and my FIANCE became officail as a committed couple, but all of this has been difficult because of both of our previous relationships. I CUT OFF all ties with my previous relationships except for my daughters father, but he didnt. He at the time was still conversing with other women via internet and phones. In affect he was giving awya emotions and time that i felt should have been reserved for me only. Well we worked throught thiis issue and agreed to START over with our relatioship and do it RIGHT...Well in Dec I found out that I was pregnant and as soon as i found out I told him. At this time We discussed all of our options and our future. At the time I wasnt quite sure if the baby was or wasnt his and we discussed that also in detail. As of today we now have confirmation that the baby isnt his. We have discussed us still staying together and working through this to continue building on what we have....BUT there are so many factors left to consider....HE tells me that he still LOVES me, but I have the thought in the back of my mine that at this point that isnt enough. I lOVE him with all of my heart and i dont want to hurt him any further.
The issue that is mainly a problem is if FAMILY: I have never meet them because of the distance and situation of our becoming a couple..(Alot of things lapped over with us..like his offical divorce, the birth of his son, the ending of the relationship w/ his son's mom) His family feels like I am the reason for the ending of the previous relationship, when in fact his son's mother was(she lied about the baby..He is not my Fiance's biologically either, she has a criminal record ect, ect)He nor I have ever really sat down with his family adn explained point by point what happened..WE always lived by What happens in our HOUSE is our Business. But NOW he has taken to reaching out to them about our situation....So to me no matter how much I talk or try to explain what happened, I am still view as the woman who tried to trap their son, brother, ect,ect.
I have apologized prfusely to my FIANCE, and his family and also My own...I have tried to convey what exactly was happening with us and me at the time and it just seems like no one understands:
In a nutshell I became pregnant after a fight that we had that centered around his son's mom and her blantant disrespect towards me...I figured We hadnt committed to each other, we hadnt even discussed a future so why should I have to deal with this woman calling my me, emailing vulgar things and harrassing me at my place of employment...Essentailly I gave him an ultimatium either get yourself situated or lose whatever it is we are trying to build.....In time he and I corrected our issues and have grown stonger as a couple, but NOw that I am due to have this baby I dont know where we stand, as far as us staying to together.
I just think that it is so ironic that I CHOOSE to put up with all of his issues before and after we had committed to each other and I cant even get an honest answer as to how, if, we can work through this.....
ANY ADVICE PLEASE help