has the OW ever come looking for a modification?

When we went to court she was crying when she left because she thought my H made more than he did and that she'd be getting a lot more money. She also wanted him to pay for health insurance and had the nerve to tell the mediator "he has a family, so he probably has a family plan anyways"...since he did not (I pay insurance for our son through my job) they only made him pay CS since it'd be way too much to change his insurance to a family plan on top CS.

Anyways...what we got from it was she's money hungry and looking for him to support her. We haven't heard from her since (though that was only in December).

Since then my H has started a non-profit organization through his job (he's a teacher) and we're expecting our 2nd child due in December 2014!

I'm scared that OW may come back and try to get more money because she's been being nosey and knows about the non-profit now (he has an instagram page for the org and she started following it, but we blocked her). The mediator took into account our son when figuring out CS (which she didn't have to do, but did as a curtosey thank god). I'm scared if OW takes him back to court and they see we're having another one they'll make him pay more just for having more kids (ironic...since OW's get everything when they decide to have these kids on their own).

Has it ever happen to you? How'd the experience go? or is it usually once they get an amount they leave you alone? What can I do to protect us (other than separate and file my own claims)?

What state are you in? I know most states let's either side modify CS every three years or so. So your H could request a modification review if he was to start making less money for example.

Are you living in the same state as OW/OC?

thanks for the quick response!

We are in Massachusetts...and unfortunately we do live in the same state as OW/OC. I tried to look up the state guild lines and from what I understand either of them can request a modification anytime there is a change in income, drastic change in expenses for taking care of the child (though it didn't specify if that includes COM or just this OC), or health insurance is lost.

The non-profit he will not be making any extra money for a few years, and even when he does it won't be a lot, just getting reimbursed from his time spent since it's going through the school system. But OW is a complete idiot and I have a feeling she saw what he's doing with the non-profit and thought cha-ching and might try to file for a modification. I can only hope she does it now, when he's not making anymore money and she will look stupid and that will deter her from going back again in the future.

as a sidenote (to anyone to answer)...how are our H's supposed to help their families survive? if after CS is taken they are making less money and decide to go out and get another source of income...if the OW can take from that too what are they supposed to do?

Yes, that's pretty standard that either side can request a modification.

Doesn't your state go by a formula (a percentage of his income), but it should be based on how many children he has total? So when you have the new baby that should lower his obligation, because that is more children that he will have.

Can you move out of state from OW/OC? This won't stop his obligation, but it will make it a little tougher for OW to make your life difficult.

Here it is calculated by comparing his income with hers and then a percentage of his income goes to her from that calculation. It is up to the judge/mediator if they want to give credit for children already in the household. Thankfully the mediator gave him credit for our son, not sure if she tries to modify if they will give credit for the new baby...I'm afraid they'll tell him too bad you shouldn't have had any more kids if you can't "afford" the ones you have. I'm hoping if she tries to modify we'll get someone who understands what she's trying to do and sees right through it.

I wish we could move out of state...there is nothing I would love more. But our whole lives are here, we both have careers and it'd be really hard to pick up and find work else where. I dream of moving out of country though...to Europe and falling off the map where OW can't find us but sees picture of us living the laid back European lifestyle through her snooping on social media but she can't get him for CS because Europe won't extradite it LOL...wishful thinking

Does your state allow you to file for legal separation while living together? If so file and then file for CS for your children. That way any modifications will take your COM into account.

Well, there are consequences for sin.
He obviously chose (unless he was abducted and raped) to have sex with this OW and have a child.
Under the laws of our states, parents (adulterers or not) are expected to pay for their children.

EDIT: Remember, your husband is not the victim in this case. Everyone, including the OC is the victim of his sin.

Hello! Sorry your dealing with this. First thing I want to tell you is to calm down. Slow your thoughts running through your head. Ok????

You need to find out how your state handles CS increases. They might only review every three years. Find that out first. Then figure out your income and needs. The non profit, could You incorporate.... As in the official one being paid for the service? Your hubby may be doing the work, but if YOU were the official " hire" or "contractor " would that remove the problem ?? Is your income a consideration?? That is what you need to know .

Being financial saavy here is vital. Knowledge is power. Sounds like you need a meeting with a laywer and ask some hard questions. Then build your life accordingly.

I agree it's wrong that your husband could be hit for working another job. But, if that's the case .... Then he should not. No sense in him being gone from his family to help her out.

The legal separation is not a bad idea. Financially. Getting support on line so the pot is less for her to dip into .


But never do a thing without solid legal advice. It's probably going to be on you to do this. It's in YOUR FAMILY best interests to be on top of all of this.

Don't fret. Educate yourself on your situation and make a plan with your husband, legally and move forward.

By working together FOR your family it creates a strong family bond, a team effort, solidarity. Which is the most vital part of marriage. Your in a tough spot. Live learn laugh and love.

I have faith in you and know you can do this.!!!!