It Happened to Me - 08/09/16 08:08 PM
Here is my story in a nut shell. I can't even believe this has happened. I didn't even know about this unit just now.
Background - My Husband and I have been together for 13 years. Married 6 years and Separate 1 year. Our marriage was a little rocky before the birth of our first baby. But after the birth it was a nightmare. We had a premature baby that was in the hospital for months and then upon coming home needed a ton of support. We were basically keeping the baby alive. We had no nursing or any other help. A lot of this was my fault as when my baby came home, I wanted to have my baby all to myself, six months in a hospital sharing with the nurses always telling me what I could and could not do. I just wanted my baby and to do what I wanted.... It was good but it did become over whelming. I looked for my husband for support but in my eyes he wasn't doing enough. He would go to work and then come home and hardly spend time with us. So my resentments started and his as well, sex stopped and we were roommates that didn't like each other at all. So he left.
1 Year Separated - We have been separated 1 year and during that year my husband hardly came by to see our son, like 1 week for 3o minutes. Sometimes we would go to dinner, sometimes we hangout. Sometime he would text me he wanted to come home, but never did. Since the day he left I told him I wanted to fix this.
1 Month Ago - My husband said lets try to get back together. So I was happy and we were trying and things looked great. Well thats what I thought. Until I got an email from an anonymous person saying my son had a half brother!! You can imagine my surprise. Slowly I got the truth out of my husband. When my husband left 1 year ago he had been talking to another girl. He says he didn't do anything with her until after he left but I'm not sure. Based on the age of the baby they would have had to hooked up with 1 week or soon of him leaving. So I learned the truth my husband had been cheating on me, got another girl pregnant, lied to me for a year and never had the balls to tell me. Of course I looked on Facebook and I see her and my husband photos and the baby and family... Looks like a perfect little picture. Really does piss me off that this OW puts that stuff up like he not a married man!
Side Note - this girl lives in another state and they saw each other like 6 times, so I was told. Anyway, neither of them were going to quit their jobs to be with one another. Well I think......
The Hard Parts for me - He didn't break up with her before he asked to get back with me. So I can only assume he was keeping his options open. He hardly came to see our son, which he said was because he felt so guilty.
Today - I have asked for paternity test. They will go this week. Hubby has broken up with OW but he didn't tell her anything about me. He says he not sure if he wants to be with me or alone now. So he doesn't want to tell OW about me. I'm guessing he is trying not to hurt her. He keeps messing with my head, a year he strings me along along, giving me hope a at times, then tells me he wants to be with me, then after I find out this dirty secret he is not sure.....
Its such a mess we are hanging out tonight and having dinner and in 2 weeks going on a trip. So I don't know what to think. I'm all sorts of confused on this. I wanted my marriage to work since the day he left, but now its going to be so much harder.
I've read all the post about him having to break off relationship with OW and OC. I do think for us to start working o bus, he does need to tell her his trying to work on his marriage and to stop communicating. I'm waiting to the test results....... Of course I am wishing its not his.....
Background - My Husband and I have been together for 13 years. Married 6 years and Separate 1 year. Our marriage was a little rocky before the birth of our first baby. But after the birth it was a nightmare. We had a premature baby that was in the hospital for months and then upon coming home needed a ton of support. We were basically keeping the baby alive. We had no nursing or any other help. A lot of this was my fault as when my baby came home, I wanted to have my baby all to myself, six months in a hospital sharing with the nurses always telling me what I could and could not do. I just wanted my baby and to do what I wanted.... It was good but it did become over whelming. I looked for my husband for support but in my eyes he wasn't doing enough. He would go to work and then come home and hardly spend time with us. So my resentments started and his as well, sex stopped and we were roommates that didn't like each other at all. So he left.
1 Year Separated - We have been separated 1 year and during that year my husband hardly came by to see our son, like 1 week for 3o minutes. Sometimes we would go to dinner, sometimes we hangout. Sometime he would text me he wanted to come home, but never did. Since the day he left I told him I wanted to fix this.
1 Month Ago - My husband said lets try to get back together. So I was happy and we were trying and things looked great. Well thats what I thought. Until I got an email from an anonymous person saying my son had a half brother!! You can imagine my surprise. Slowly I got the truth out of my husband. When my husband left 1 year ago he had been talking to another girl. He says he didn't do anything with her until after he left but I'm not sure. Based on the age of the baby they would have had to hooked up with 1 week or soon of him leaving. So I learned the truth my husband had been cheating on me, got another girl pregnant, lied to me for a year and never had the balls to tell me. Of course I looked on Facebook and I see her and my husband photos and the baby and family... Looks like a perfect little picture. Really does piss me off that this OW puts that stuff up like he not a married man!
Side Note - this girl lives in another state and they saw each other like 6 times, so I was told. Anyway, neither of them were going to quit their jobs to be with one another. Well I think......
The Hard Parts for me - He didn't break up with her before he asked to get back with me. So I can only assume he was keeping his options open. He hardly came to see our son, which he said was because he felt so guilty.
Today - I have asked for paternity test. They will go this week. Hubby has broken up with OW but he didn't tell her anything about me. He says he not sure if he wants to be with me or alone now. So he doesn't want to tell OW about me. I'm guessing he is trying not to hurt her. He keeps messing with my head, a year he strings me along along, giving me hope a at times, then tells me he wants to be with me, then after I find out this dirty secret he is not sure.....
Its such a mess we are hanging out tonight and having dinner and in 2 weeks going on a trip. So I don't know what to think. I'm all sorts of confused on this. I wanted my marriage to work since the day he left, but now its going to be so much harder.
I've read all the post about him having to break off relationship with OW and OC. I do think for us to start working o bus, he does need to tell her his trying to work on his marriage and to stop communicating. I'm waiting to the test results....... Of course I am wishing its not his.....