Question on Finances - 12/09/19 05:19 PM
Hello! I'm in a more interesting situation as I'm not married yet, but my fiance has had a child with another woman while we have been together for almost 10 years.
The facts are: OW does not want Fiance to be involved in OC's life, and Fiance wants to stay with me and agrees that NC with OW/OC is best. OW asked that Fiance pay her a "fair amount" outside of child support courts. Once Fiance has the means to pay her a "fair amount", I want him to take a private DNA test first before paying her anything. He is not on any legal document binding him to the OC as of this moment. OC was conceived in Texas, Fiance and I plan to move to California.
What can I do to ensure that we pay the least amt of money to the OW? Fiance is on track to earn a very high amount of money in 3-4 years once training is done.
I'd like to preface this with the fact that I don't see having children as a way to "get back" or a "tool to use" to get back at OW/OC. Fiance and I have always wanted children together, and we will have them when we are ready and love them fully. I want to protect their best interests. If I truly just wanted to have children to "get back" at them, I would've gone off birth control months ago and started this process now.
My thoughts are:
1. Get a pre-nup detailing a large percentage of alimony and "child support" be paid to me if we divorce/legally separate
1a. I'm fully aware you can't put child support in a pre-nup, but I'm sure a judge will not bat an eye if paying parent wants to give more child support as agreed upon in pre-nup?
2. Get married, have kids
3. Get a legal separation, and with that, alimony and child-support court enforced
4. Place money back into an account our family can use.
This would prevent OW from taking a large amount of money from MY family and OUR children if she ever decided to come after us for court-ordered child support.
Can anyone else advise/let me know of anything else I'm not considering to ensure financial stability for my future children?
The facts are: OW does not want Fiance to be involved in OC's life, and Fiance wants to stay with me and agrees that NC with OW/OC is best. OW asked that Fiance pay her a "fair amount" outside of child support courts. Once Fiance has the means to pay her a "fair amount", I want him to take a private DNA test first before paying her anything. He is not on any legal document binding him to the OC as of this moment. OC was conceived in Texas, Fiance and I plan to move to California.
What can I do to ensure that we pay the least amt of money to the OW? Fiance is on track to earn a very high amount of money in 3-4 years once training is done.
I'd like to preface this with the fact that I don't see having children as a way to "get back" or a "tool to use" to get back at OW/OC. Fiance and I have always wanted children together, and we will have them when we are ready and love them fully. I want to protect their best interests. If I truly just wanted to have children to "get back" at them, I would've gone off birth control months ago and started this process now.
My thoughts are:
1. Get a pre-nup detailing a large percentage of alimony and "child support" be paid to me if we divorce/legally separate
1a. I'm fully aware you can't put child support in a pre-nup, but I'm sure a judge will not bat an eye if paying parent wants to give more child support as agreed upon in pre-nup?
2. Get married, have kids
3. Get a legal separation, and with that, alimony and child-support court enforced
4. Place money back into an account our family can use.
This would prevent OW from taking a large amount of money from MY family and OUR children if she ever decided to come after us for court-ordered child support.
Can anyone else advise/let me know of anything else I'm not considering to ensure financial stability for my future children?