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Posted By: Comfort41 Been gone for a while... - 04/14/01 12:26 AM
Just stopped by today for the first time in a while. Boy...is there a lot to catch up on! Anyway, things are going fine with me. They get better day by day (most times). I find that other things come into your life daily that replace the memory and hurt of betrayal. Good things mostly. You never forget but after a while the pain really does subside and dulls. You push it further and further to the back burner and you move on. Prayer is a powerful and awesome thing and it works! So does the love and support of family, close friends and wonderful supportive people like my old friends on here. You know who you are. Unfortunately, I'm one of the "old timers" and I don't really see too many of my old friends on here now. Maybe that's a good thing. Like me, hopefully they're moving on and moving forward. Anyway, my husband and I are still together and we still love each other very much. There is life after adultery (even when an OC is the result). I never thought I'd be in this situation. Never. But it happened to me. While I know I can not and will not accept the OC into our lives, and thankfully my h doesn't want to either, I can move forward. Child support? sure. For many years to come (at least the next 13) but that's just the price h has to pay. It's an expensive lesson for him in more ways then just money. He came very close to losing me and our children. He knows this. And for what? a few rolls in the sack with a tramp who never thought enough about her own self and body to protect it from pregnancy and disease? (afterall, she didn't know what my h MAY have had...why risk it?) Anyway, I don't post or visit here often anymore. I find that as my healing progresses, the need for regular support diminishes. Sometimes, coming here was a painful reminder as there were so many new comers experiencing the same pain. I hope I've helped a few along the way with any advise. Anyway, I'll come back to visit when I can. In the meantime, love and hugs to my old friends and best of luck to the new comers. It does get better but it WILL take time. Lots of it. <P>God bless<P>Comfort<P><BR>ps. I had to put in my 2 cents on a couple of posts from two confused women (Regretfully and Lurking)....Good grief! Some people really need to get a life!
Posted By: fizzpop Re: Been gone for a while... - 04/14/01 01:30 AM
Hi, how long has it taken you to come to this point in your life, I am happy for you and really hope that one day I can find the peace you seem to have found
Posted By: broken_wings Re: Been gone for a while... - 04/14/01 03:43 AM
Hi Comfort,<P>I am so glad to hear from you. And that you are doing so well.<P>Love and Prayers,<P>broken_wings
Posted By: gemini1 Re: Been gone for a while... - 04/14/01 09:57 AM
Comfort so nice to hear from you. I am happy you are doing so well. You owe the healing to your husband's commitment to you.<P>Bless you.<P>Debi<P>------------------<BR>Imagine....
Posted By: Jenny Re: Been gone for a while... - 04/14/01 12:58 PM
congrads to you comfort! we're doing well, too [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] welcome back!
Posted By: flowerseed Re: Been gone for a while... - 04/14/01 04:06 PM
comfort,<BR>Good to hear the news. We arent doing to shabby ourselves. Give yourself a great big hugg from me. I just want you to know you are one of the great ladies here that helped me make it thru my darkest hours. with love flowerseed<P>------------------<BR>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! With God on our side we can't lose! What God has joined together let no man put asunder.
Posted By: GLynton Re: Been gone for a while... - 04/15/01 05:01 AM
Hey Comfort,<P> Good to hear from you, don't be a stranger. It's nice to hear a success story from time to time. I'm really happy things are going well, God bless you! <BR> <P> <P>------------------<BR>Gregg
Posted By: unhappy wife Re: Been gone for a while... - 04/14/01 10:58 PM
comfort 41, I too want to know how long it has taken you to feel whole. It has been two months for me, I have good days and horrible days and wonder when more good days will come. I too hate the child support payments, which are huge for us, and since my h is rather conservative with money, I do not understand how he lives with himself about this. We struggled with OC contact issues, after much arguing in and out of therapy, he now realizes with contact he faces divorce, so now he says none.But how long did it take to get better? please post and tell us.
Posted By: happy_girl Re: Been gone for a while... - 04/15/01 04:04 AM
comfort,<P>welcome back! it has grown here a lot. it is hard to keep up with everyone, especially with the losers that have decided to come try to raise havoc once again, starting debates etc. i think they must have no life to come here to start debates. i don't hang out at different forums trying to provoke people, i think they are just cruel people, with nothing better to do. what goes around comes around.<P>but, i am ignoring them as best i can. i would be sad if i was a newbie and showed up here to this. i would have ran away as fast as i could.<P>glad that you and hubby are doing well. you are right, there is life after adultery, even in situations like ours. i have come to believe that is what bothers those people posting here the most. that we made it, or are trying to make it despite the added burden to deal with. <P>i too have not been around much until recently. personal reasons, but i agree with you that there are times when all is going well, and you don't need as much support. we see it happen, and it is a good thing, but it is great to get an update once in awhile from an old friend. <P>my prayers for the continued success in your marriage, and wishes for your happiness.<P>happy_girl
Posted By: heavenlybody26 Re: Been gone for a while... - 04/19/01 03:21 AM
Dear Comfort,<P>I haven't been posting for awhile but I still lurk occasionally. I posted a bit over the last few days but I think my posts got lost in the shuffle with all of the arguing that was going back and forth between the regulars and some new suspicious posters!<P>Glad to hear you are doing so well. I am also doing pretty well in that my H and I have reached a new level of communication and I feel truly happy for the first time in a very long time. I have really forgiven him for everything that has happened. <P>I used to SAY that I had forgiven him but I don't think in my heart I really meant it. My heart means it these days and, as you said, there is definitely life after the OW/OC -- and quite a good life.<P>Drop in when you can. Whenever I see your posts I will be sure to answer. If you still have my e-mail address, drop me a line anytime just to say hello or to update me.<P>I miss you but wish you all that is good in the world.<BR>love,<BR>heavenly
Posted By: flowerseed Re: Been gone for a while... - 04/19/01 11:43 AM
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