Went to therapy yesterday, alone! - Marriage Builders® Forums

Hi everyone, I went to see a therapist yesterday. Not new ofr me since I have gone off and on for 18 years. She turned out to be a Christain, thank ,God. Her bottom line adivice for me was to start following the book Love life for Married Couples, I have read this in the past. The book is by Ed Wheat. A very good book about unconditional love in marriage. She also said that I give the ow way to much credit and power by spending my time thinking about her. She said that ow is inconsequencial and will self-destruct on her own.She also said the most important thing is that my H is with me and I need to make our house a safe haven for him. All of this is in accordance with the book.I do highly recommend it. She asked me to think about the way I was treating H and take responsibilty for my own behavoir.She said that blame is pointless at this time because my H's list would be a million pages long compared to mine. The main focus should be on us and moving forward. We seemed to get along well. She knew my h and me through our business, but only by meeting us once. She remembered thinking how beautiful he was and how difficult it must be being with him. I mentioned how attractive he was before we remembered meeting. Anyway ,she has had similar experiences in her marriage, so she can empathize. I will be going back next week. My H doesn't know that I am going yet. THings SEEM to be slowly returning to affectionate between us,but we'll see.

hey Blue, What about this Ed Wheat book? Main focus SHOULD be on you and moving forward but forgive me.....whay about H being at ow's house?I would be a clinging vine after that.Prayers to you sweetie.love Debi------------------ Imagine....

blue, Like Gem I feel kinda torn here. I want peace and happiness for you, but I'm not sure how realistic it is to just make create a happy haven for your H without(eventually!?!) addresses some issues like Joint Agreement and Contact... I too would be nutso over H's actions. Maybe counselor's talking about a Plan A kind of thing but I never had to do that so I cannot say if that's right. I really like the guidelines in the book After the Affair by Janis Abram Spring, but again maybe you need to be in a Plan A type thing right now...Confused but wishing you the best! J

Hi Blue,Sounds like you really connected with your counselor! It must feel good to be doing something...I hope it all works out for you. Continued prayers...fluke

Gem, I think you are confusing me with someone else. As far as I know, H hasn't even been to ow's new apartment. But, Wheat's book is difficult to follow at first but after awhile it starts coming naturally. It premise is that God wants and loves marriage.On the flip side ,He hates divorce and separation. Therefore, with prayer God will give you the love affair that you want in your marriage. I remember I was so much in love with h then, and he was living with ow at the time. I will try it again .

Sorry Blue...I was confused. So much happening to so many I got my stories crossed huh? <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Therefore, with prayer God will give you the love affair that you want in your marriage. I remember I was so much in love with h then, and he was living with ow at the time. I will try it again .<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>THIS IS TRUE!!!! Prayer works wonders.love Debi------------------ Imagine....

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by blue00: She said that blame is pointless at this time because my H's list would be a million pages long compared to mine.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Dear blue, I think I missed something here. Why would you husband have a million page complaint against you?MJ

She meant that my H's list of wrongdoings would be much longer than mine. So there is no reason to even go there.