Still asking why - 12/25/01 05:30 AM
Happy Holidays to all! I can't believe I am finding myself back at this computer again so that I can feel connected again. My husband is watching T.V., my children are out with friends, and all I want to do is get on this website. Is that normal? It just gives me such comfort to get on here and know that others are making it through the same devasting changes that I am. I am also amazed at the strength of character and spirit continually displayed on these boards. Mostly though, the love and compassion evidenced here is overwhelming. You people are great!
I know not all of our details are identical, but I honestly feel like I not alone when I enter here. <p>We received the results to the paternity test last week and every spare minute I think about this. I fluctuate between thinking about the OC and how we should proceed, to dwelling on the WHY and HOW?!!! Why did he do it and how could he have done this! Will I ever stop asking myself those questions? Will I ever be secure in my marriage again?<p>My husband has written the OW to ask what her expectations are and to let her know that I know about everything. (The affair occured 10 years ago and this is the first contact he has had with her since the OC was born.) <p>Please keep us in your prayers. I so want to remain in God's will, but sometimes it is so difficult to know what that is.<p>It's funny, I have so many thoughts running around in my head all day, then I get on here and I don't know how to express them all. <p>Anyway, my prayers and thoughts are with each of you. I so wish I could find a way to help each of you as you are helping me. <p>Merry Christmas and praise God for sending our Savior!
I know not all of our details are identical, but I honestly feel like I not alone when I enter here. <p>We received the results to the paternity test last week and every spare minute I think about this. I fluctuate between thinking about the OC and how we should proceed, to dwelling on the WHY and HOW?!!! Why did he do it and how could he have done this! Will I ever stop asking myself those questions? Will I ever be secure in my marriage again?<p>My husband has written the OW to ask what her expectations are and to let her know that I know about everything. (The affair occured 10 years ago and this is the first contact he has had with her since the OC was born.) <p>Please keep us in your prayers. I so want to remain in God's will, but sometimes it is so difficult to know what that is.<p>It's funny, I have so many thoughts running around in my head all day, then I get on here and I don't know how to express them all. <p>Anyway, my prayers and thoughts are with each of you. I so wish I could find a way to help each of you as you are helping me. <p>Merry Christmas and praise God for sending our Savior!