I have seen a couple of comments go by about greeting cards and how you can't find one that fits your current feelings/situation.<p>(I found the same thing when my niece was born so very, very ill. Every card talked about "your perfect baby" the "fulfillment of your every wish." I knew that she was loved and wanted by her parents as much as her healthy sister had been but the cards seemed like such an insult to new parents whose child might die in the first few days of life.)<p>So, any way, if you want to vent some anger, go ahead, write a verse and post it here. Tell us what the illustrations would look like. <p>A couple a months after D-day On Valentines day I wanted to make a card that showed a lovely woman on the front of the card in a little black dress in one of those misty-Hallmarky-1980s kind of photos. She would be standing in a field looking down slightly. The front would say "On this Valentine's Day I realize how lucky I am.....<p>Open the card. She is actually standing over a grave site with a cast-iron frying pan in her hand
and it says:<p>"....that I haven't killed you yet. Happy Valentines Day Honey. Watch your back."<p>Just my sick fantasy (and it is over a long time ago).<p>MJ<p>[ June 14, 2002: Message edited by: MaryJanes ]</p>

Thanks MJ's<p>you've made me spew coffee all over the place here [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

This is so ironic because I just DID give Bipolar a greeting card that I thought was hilarious. In fact he thought it was so hilarious (and true) himself, that he saves it in his nightstand just for a good humor. I can't beleive he wasn't insulted!<p>On the front it shows two grotesque people at a party, each with a drink in their hand. The woman is short, fat with gnarly hair. I added pock marks and chin hairs for effect (hahaha). The guy, looking infatuated with her was tall, lanky, goofy looking with buck teeth. I added a beard, mustasche and formed the eye brows to look like Bipolar's. The dialogue balloon above the woman's head says "oooh, he's so tall" and the one above the man's head just says "Wow". I added an additional dialogue balloon above the woman's head that said, "How much money do you make?"<p>On the inside of the card, the statement reads, "Warning: Alcohol may make people of the opposite sex appear more attractive than they are."<p>Haha. <p>Catnip =^^=

Bump.<p>Come on. We used to have senses of humor. We used to laugh (as well as cry and scream) on this board.<p>Here's another one. exOW nearly lost OC during her pregnancy. I am not rejoicing about the near-loss of Precious so no flames please.<p>exOW was current OW at the time. She entered labor sometime around 24 weeks. She had to spend nearly 2 months in the hospital and delivered a month early. She spent much of her time in the hospital hanging upside down to fight the effects of gravity and preserve the pregnancy. (Thank God she had health insurance or my H would have paid that bill also. Not because the court ordered but because he would have felt obligated.)<p>So, for those once-in-a-lifetime events when your H's OW is hanging upside down in the hospital
how about a card that shows a Shoebox-greeting-type woman hanging upside down in a hospital bed. (Maybe with the indignity of struggling to keep one of those hospital gowns from falling down around her head. Might be the first time in her life she ever tried to keep her clothes on.)<p>On the outside it says "Heard you weren't feeling well and had to hang around the hospital....<p>Inside<p>....well I always thought you were a vampire bat, so I guess there is some justice in the world.<p>MJ<p>[ June 14, 2002: Message edited by: MaryJanes ]</p>

Obviously ya'll's minds don't work the same way mine do. Must be because I have 3 or 4 greeting card authoring programs on my computer and I am always making cards for all kinds of situations.<p>Right after D-day I wanted to create birth announcements:<p>After 17-years of Holy Matrimony,
please join Mrs. Job in congratulating
Mr. Job and TimberButt on the birth of
their out-of-wedlock daughter.
height and weight details.<p>I was going to go into his online Rolodex and
mail it to our Christmas card list and everyone
in his business contact database--over 1,000
people.<p>My mother cautioned me that I better not do that
unless I was certain I wanted that divorce I
was talking about. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]