I am curious if there are any WS who are currently in recovery in their marriages & have contact with the OC?
If so, how do you successfully do this?
How does your H/W feel about this?
If you have children in your marriage, do they know? If so, do they spend time together?
This is a very good question I would like to know myself.
Hello Vee,
I'm here for support girl. I don't have the answers. If I did then my marriage wouldn't be in such turmoil. All I can do is share my feelings which are more then likely what you're feeling.
I haven't had contact with the OC. The OW's refused to allow it to happen. Can't say that it made me mad. Instead I was relived. I couldn't mistreat a child. I wouldn't want anyone to mistreat any of mine. Yet I didn't want the constant reminder of my H affairs. Those OC would have never allowed the healing to begin at least I thought.
H went to visit OC which led to OW1 having another OC. H doesn't openly claim this child to me. H isn't sure that it's his. However I know that prayer changes everything. God sends you people that will listen to you, pray for you and cry with you. When I came on this site I knew it was the right place to be. So don't give up and keep on posting and reading the many articals. Help and recovery will soon come. I belive that with all my heart. God has not failed me yet and He won't fail you!
Vee I can only tell you about what I learned from my experience, my h's oc did not surface for 12 years, and he found us with ow help, first time i knew about him was then, and as hard as it is I have allowed the child to stay for a week on two occassions, and it went pretty well, ow did'nt like it, but I think you can learn to bond with oc if you start out at an early age, if at all, our oc is hard to bond with, to much like ow, even h can't bond with him, but my 3d's who are older have a very good relationship with oc, they speak to him on phone often even had him stay with them
HI VEE
How have you been? I just recently found out that xow could be pregnant again first she said it is her H now she's claiming it's my H. The manipulation when does it stop.
ToJAF
You make a good point OC is a constant reminder of affair.How can you heal if you are reminded? now that's a good question. I think sometimes I would go crazy, if there wasn't a site like this. I would feel so alone like I was feeling at first befor I found this site.