There is so much advice about getting a good lawyer, that I am afraid I am making a mistake getting separated without one. If you have read my prior posts you know that I filed for separation (CS and spousal support) - they had a problem b/c we did not put a separate address for my H (clerk said we didn't have to - wrong), so now we have to refile the paperwork with an address for him and supposedly it will be done. He has a mailing address from mailboxes that we were going to refile with - hope it works, but am I missing something by not doing this with a lawyer? Lynn, you always say to see a lawyer and do everything legally, but I couldn't find a lawyer to help me when I explained the situation, especially when I only wanted to separate and not divorce, and I saw several. I have no contacts who are lawyers, so I was at a dead end. Am I doing something wrong? Am I missing something? I know if she files for CS we need to get a lawyer, but I want to get this done first so my CS and spousal support will be taken out first. The paperwork was very straightforward. How do you find an aggressive lawyer?

Forthboys, I'm not trying to start a board war, but I had this exact conversation with my attorney this morning. I aksed her specific questions if xmm gets seperated (which in my state we don't have legal seperation it's called seperate maintanence) and she told me that if they file first his child support would come out first but in this state my child support over ride her alimony. That her child support would only offset my cs by 50.00 to 100.00. Which could mean alot depending on someone's income, but then again could not mean that much as well. I'm surprised (even coming from me) that you can't find an attorney to help you. A legal seperation cost the same as a divorce. At least in my state it does. When stbxh and I seperated I went to see several attorney's and although they all said you might as well divorce him, they were all willing to do the seperation for me.

I am susrprised that you can't find an attorney. Call the Bar Association and get a refereral. You can also try legal aide. All you want is someone to look over your paperwork. Actually, this is pretty easy for a good divorce attorney.

I say do things legally, that way nothing can come back to haunt you.

As for the savings. Even if it saves you 100.00 a month, that is $21,600 over the next 18 years.