First I want to extend my prayers to everyone, especially some of the newbies I have been reading a bit on. It brings back a flood of emotion even so far down the road. My heart goes out to you guys. It can be really rough. Hang in there and lean on God and you will make it.

I just recieved my copy of "The Other Child/Children of Affairs" and I havent really been able to put it down. It brings back so much so I took a trip over to marriagebuilders to check in and there are so many new names. It is heartbreaking.

As for an update on me...for those that remember me. H and I have been divorced for several yrs now and I guess that makes him XH. Yippee! Things are wonderful for me now. I have a good job and I have both my beautiful girls (XH has chose to be out of their lives, his loss). I am engaged to a wonderful wonderful man. We have been dating for close to 2 yrs. He is more than I could have ever asked for and my girls love him and he loves them.

Oh and get this! I have met ow and oc now. I even have pic of oc with my kids at Chuck E Cheese! Isnt that amazing! I even have a pic of ow's H holding oc and my daugher. Crazy huh! Who'd have thought.....

My prayer for everyone is to find peace with whatever their personal decision is from this event. Sometimes our H turns around and realizes and repairs the marriage and sometimes not. Sometimes we can do what needs to be done and sometimes it is too much and we have to move on. Either way, I pray for peace and happiness for all.

God bless....

bw

<small>[ March 04, 2004, 01:02 PM: Message edited by: broken_wings ]</small>

Hello,

I am a newbie & so I don't know your story, but I am happy for you that you were able to move on & find happiness after enduring this awful mess we here have all found ourselves in.

I really liked what you said about some H's come around & some don't. After almost 2 yrs. of this I am truly at the point of being ready to accept either ending to my own story.

I don't think it is crazy that you met ow & oc & have pictures, God can change anyone & any situation if he so desires.

I wish you every many blessings & much happiness <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

broken_wings,

I'm glad you checked back in and thanks for the great update!! You know how badly that is needed here!

Yes, the site is called Marriage Builders and yours didn't survive but they can't and won't ALL survive. YOU DID! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> And THAT is the REALLY important success story.

You are happy, good job, wonderful kids, a new caring partner and a bright future. Great news!!

Congratulations!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Congradulations! It sounds like you got closure out of meeting the OC, and that you've moved on to a much better life. You go, girl! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

hi,
I just been thinking of you. Thanks for the update.

Dawn

Brokenwings-nice to see a happy update from and oldie!! So glad that you are happy. You deserve that and much more. Take care!

BabyGirl.....It was a long road but we can get thru anything if we trust in the Lord. God showed His faithfulness to me again and again. I did everything I could to save my marriage and the Lord knows that. When ow2 (that I knew about) came along and H walked out on me when I was pg, I knew that was all I was taking. Some do, and some dont. Im not sure what makes the difference for them except for God. But you have to remember too that God is a gentleman and He doesnt force any one to do any thing. May God shine His Love on you in whatever decision in made.

NrlyCrazy...thanks! You are right! Life will go on without H if that is how it ends up. And you can find happiness. I have found more than I have ever dreamed of. My fiance and I are going thru pre-marital counseling and it is great! I feel like I actually have a realistic knowledge of who Greg is and not that idealized view of someone like I did XH. I know who I am marrying this time and he is my best friend in the whole world. God Bless You and Keep You.

Jenny...you know, meeting OC really was nice. It was also the first time I had met OW1 and that went really well too. Her H came and so did my fiance and everone got along really well. It was awkward at first for me and ow1, but I am so glad we did it. My oldest girl and OC hooked up immediately!! It was amazing!! They were like glue and they dont know who they are to each other. I do have closure from it. Ow is really a nice person, but she has changed a lot too. Her and her H may even come to my wedding. It blows my mind when I think back on how things were.

Dawn...hey there! How are you doing? I dont have a computer at home anymore so I am not able to get on messenger. We cant download anything at work. I pray all is well.

Hey there Happy!! How is it in AZ? Thank you so much. How is that little one? Mine is growing sooooooo much as I imagine yours is. They were like what? 7 days apart? Such wonderful little blessings!!

Love to All!!!

bw

Thanks for your words of encouragement. I am at the point too, where I know I done all that I can so now I am standing, but this is my year to make a choice whether he does or not.

This is either God's design or my desire & I am praying that God let's me know HIS choice for me.

I know I could have relationship w/ OC & deal w/ OW on some level for the sake of OC but that is up to God if he wants that to work that way it will.

Again I am so happy for you & it helps to know that there is life after this situation even if it isn't w/ your current spouse!

Hey BW how is the book? have you gotten a chance to read it? Did you order it or can I find it at a book store? Or if anyone else has read the other child book, what do you think?

BabyGirl....I am glad to be able to support where I can. I know how rought a decision it is and in my case XH made it easy to make. If he would have dedicated his life to making it work maybe it would be different, but there was no dedication at all. I have NO ideal how many women he was with. I am thankful the Lord spared me and my baby any diseases. Oh course God designed marriage to last a lifetime, but there are outs of that commitment if we pray and choose it. (Biblically) I dont say that lightly at all. Marriage is an institition created by God. Im not sure if that last bit made any sense. Hope it did. Im at work and typing as fast as my little fingers can type.

Sunnydale....actually I am about halfway thru the book. I got a complimentary copy of it from the author. Im not sure if it is out in stores yet or not. Im sure you can call your local bookstore and find our or if you cant get any info that way I can email the author and find out. It is a collection of stories and it is amazing the different outcomes and feeling and stages for one basic situation.

God Bless

bw

Thanks for your reply BW, in a lot of ways H is making it easy for me to let it go, he does not show total dedication, just a tid bit here & there to pacify me I think.

Next month will be a year that he's been home & right now I see no real change from when he came home last April. How long can the fog last? I know I am going to have a make a hard choice & soon, I have been warning him for months that I am at the end of my rope. Losing me may be his "rock bottom" but if that happens there is no turning back. I feel like I have been living in a nightmare for almost 2 years now, time to wake up! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />