Specefically CLO.....

I know eventually, there comes a point when we each cross over to each 'other's' board. Some out of curiousity, some for 'insight' & what have you.

BUT you, clo, seemed to start out HERE right?

AND you don't post on TOW.(as far as anyone can tell)

SO I was just wondering WHY?

WHY did you start HERE, on MB of ALL places?
Boredom? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

What were you hoping to accomplish, learn or what?

just curious
kt

I dont post often Kt but I will tell you why I came here to post. Because I was a wayward spouse and had a child born from an affair. My husband had been a serial cheater most of our lives. We were working on our marriage and also working on visitation and other matters. I came here to get info on both. Some things helped a great deal, others not so much. Biggest was POJA, still helps me to this day with more than just my husband.

I basically came to listen and learn and then was thrilled that I could offer small parcels of advice here and there.

Came to see what the "other side" was like, and have made some great friends along the way <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> It's been a learning experience from day one, and any day that I can give a tidbit of information or help, I do.

In the beginning I came here as a deterrant (SP?) my ex was pressuring me to have his baby...at the time I only read. Then years later when I was pregnant, I came here to see what was in store for me....and a bit to wallow in my own misery. Later it became a place where I could learn. I hardly ever read here anymore...I don't know that there is much left to say or to learn and it is not my place to offer help of any kind.

Reading here makes me sad for all who are experiencing this pain BW and OW alike. I find it harder and harder to read but perhaps that is because in my own situation I see things so much clearer than I did before.

I came here first honestly to see what I had in store for me. Then I started posting and met some great ladies, and learned a lot as well as I think I've have been able to give as well. I had been both a bw and then years later ow. I have been able to understand things that I really don't think I ever would have if I would have not gotten on this site. I again will say have met some great ladies over here and thank you for your friendship and advise, and hope that I have been able to give back as well.

<small>[ February 27, 2005, 11:22 PM: Message edited by: needtomoveon ]</small>

KT,
I did a google for "Children of an Affair" or something along those lines. I think the Other Child website came up, an iVillage website and a few articles/self help (Affairs) websites came up.
This was the only one that came up with an active message board where I could read what people went through. At that time, my xMM's W had no clue that I existed, nor a child on the way. I started reading back when Catnip was around. (Seems like LynnG has taken over for Catnip <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> )

I eventually read over at TOW but the BW's aren't as open to what life is really like when they go over to that website. And when they are angry and want to vent and want to ask questions of OW's they get picked on or zapped. Heck, going up to general over there, you would think they were all BW's vs. OW's but they're a bunch of bickering OW's.

It's nice to read about the families who can make it work (entwife, SunnyD, Tylorsstepmom, etc.) and I suppose if I am ever in that situation (C) that I will have learned how the BW's feel about the situation (how they want things handled, things that set them off, things that they find manipulating/game playing).

It's interesting to read that there are people (LynnG for example) who's H could care less about the child they helped bring into the world.

I suppose I'm just reading all I can because I don't know what the future holds. Either way things go (C or NC), I think I have learned a great deal from the many, many situations and the variety of people who have posted here in the last few years.

I'm in the odd situation. I'm a BS, but also an XMOW. I really don't have a place to go, get hositility no matter where I post.

thanks for replying to my curiousity.

CM--sorry you feel hostility. I would hope you would feel safe here &/or on SxF.

xoxoxo
kt

In the begining I had a bit here. But so far everyone on SxF have been wonderful!!!