I was thinking of deleting my post but I will leave it alone.
I'm sorry to those HERE who read my post and were offend. This situation sucks it makes people's emotions raw.
I guess I really don't contribute much but I try to make people laugh and inject some humor into a horrible situation.
I guess its my defense.
I will try to stick to more productive postings or just not post at all when I want to vent about STOW.
And especially for my OWN sanity I will try not to read over there and get worked up about it.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

but isn't this your place to vent? We all need somewhere to let it out...at least I know I do.

Gwenie:

This situation does suck---it's one of the most unimaginably difficult for people to go through. And black humor is a completely acceptable way to deal with it, at least for a while.

For your sanity, I wouldn't recommend going to the other board. There's absolutely nothing over there that would really help you. I'm not a proponent of staying in a "venting" mode for very long---lots of studies have shown that this particular method of dealing with stress is not successful, but rather continues the cycle.

I like to see this particular section of the MB board focused on positive action and good MB behaviors---I think it's even more important for those people who are trying to deal with not only infidelity but with the added complications of a pregnancy outside of the marriage. I was fortunate to have benefitted from Steve Harley's counseling several years ago when I was dealing with this---and I know that he would urge people to not get caught up in the cycles of blame, the whirlwinds of emotion---but to figure out a solid, loving, marriage-saving plan and stick to it.

I'm also sorry for coming across so crabby.

K...while I agree with what you wrote, everyone has bad days or triggers. I can be moving along with my life and not even have a thought about the whole thing and then something will happen that brings me right back to the anger, pain, etc. Sometimes venting it can be a good thing. Repressed emotions come back to bite you in the butt...isn't it better to get them out and then go back to regularly scheduled programming?

Black humour is my way of dealing too...so I guess I just get that.

There's a difference between "venting" and expressing and working through emotions. And yes, repressing these emotions are a bad thing. No argument there.

There's also a difference between "venting" to someone in private, and venting in a public situation. People treat web boards as a "private" situation (usually), when in fact they are a public entity. You most likely would not go on a "vent" in a public place---and even in group therapy, there is someone there to moderate and help the person through the issue. Venting here in this web community generally does no one any real good---and I know that it causes harm (mostly unintentionally).

I love black humor. I'm wickedly good with it. But you likely wouldn't know that from my posting here. Because it's not widely appropriate in aiding others to heal from infidelity.

I never saw anything offensive in your posts & some helped me during my "baby mamma drama" period.

IMO u need not apologize.

P.S. - Stay away from that "other board"! U will find no help in lurking there.

point taken K...yesterday was horrible for me and I guess I could just relate to wanting to rage. But you're right, it would not have changed anything or done me any good to go on a rant.

Its ok, Gwenie.. ! We all (most of us) have lost our heads more than 1,2, 25 times on these boards, right? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> There is no lack of understanding your anger/words, thats for sure.

I think a good thing to remember is-- what if you were standing around w/a group of girls and you say "oh susie, my neighbor is such a FAT pig.. yuk".. and then you look around and realize that half of your friends are "fat".. and it makes them feel bad inside.

No one here is taking away your or any of our rights to vent- take our frustration, etc.-- don't get it wrong. We do need to do that sometimes- its natural. Just keep in mind that the women here have feelings and as rotten as one OW may be-- there are others who are struggling to forgive themselves/work on their marriages and are nice people with a bad past that they'd like to forget.

Please don't feel too bad-- we've all gotten slapped on ye old wrist from time to time and then we calm down. LOL!!! I know i have!

<small>[ March 04, 2005, 03:13 PM: Message edited by: giovanna123 ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Gwenieinabottle:
<strong> I was thinking of deleting my post but I will leave it alone.
I'm sorry to those HERE who read my post and were offend. This situation sucks it makes people's emotions raw.
I guess I really don't contribute much but I try to make people laugh and inject some humor into a horrible situation.
I guess its my defense.
I will try to stick to more productive postings or just not post at all when I want to vent about STOW.
And especially for my OWN sanity I will try not to read over there and get worked up about it.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Gweni, your not the first or the last. We all have done it. I'll admit I was a bit hurt when I saw that, but I overlooked it (clapping hand for Mary here) as it was a rant that you were upset about. I think it'ws great that you are able to apoligize openly like this. And what Gio said.......it's a past I'd rather forget about. It was not me, and although I have a daughter from it.......well I love her to my dying days, but the way she came about I'd just rather forget about.

Gweni,

I was thinking of deleting my post but I will leave it alone.

If I would have thought your post was so nasty that it needed to be deleted, I would have done so. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> It wasn't so horrible. It just struck a few members wrong.

I'm sorry to those HERE who read my post and were offend. This situation sucks it makes people's emotions raw.

Yes it does and it sometimes makes us read more into a post than what was intended.

I guess I really don't contribute much but I try to make people laugh and inject some humor into a horrible situation.

You are an important contributer to this site. Don't ever think you're not. And sometimes some laughter and humor is exactly what we need.

I guess its my defense.
I will try to stick to more productive postings or just not post at all when I want to vent about STOW.

Gweni, it's ok to vent. Try to personalize your vents to YOUR situation. (ie; MY FWH, the OW in OUR life, OUR OC,,etc) so they reader knows you are referring to YOU and YOUR problems and doesn't tend to take it personally. Please DO continue to post. Expressing yourself here (even if it may occasionally result in an edit <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ) is far better than blowing up at home!!

And especially for my OWN sanity I will try not to read over there and get worked up about it.
Good idea! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />