Just to see how freakin crazy they became.........


After my divorce, my EX said that

"God wanted her and her married boyfriend (affair partner) to be together"

WTH??? I just stood there in silence.

One of the many was;

"Aren't you glad/happy (?) I was getting some of my ENs met with him?"

another was - "He knows me better than I know myself." Now she gets physically ill when she thinks about him.

"How dare you spy on me!"

...after I asked a buddy to drive by the apartment and let me know if OM's car was there. It was and I confronted.

I got "I thought we had an Open relationship!"

WTF was that and Where did it come from.

What difference does it make if I slept with him one time or everyday.

I wasn't lying to you, I had already forgiven myself for it so it isn't a lie. (I still don't get this one)

oh the spying I forgot.

How dare you look at the phone bill on line. I threw them away for a reason. You had no right to do that.

I can laugh after reading these! I remember when it was not so funny!!

My wife said "It's not what it looks like". I had video of them in "Bed in my own house".

You see these things in the movies and you think nobody would say such a thing. I just looked at her and shook my head.

One of my relatives his XW did not work. They had no children and she refused to work and she shopped everyday. He had to work his butt off to try and keep their house.

She got busted by a neighbor calling him and telling him that his wife was sleeping with another neighbor. She was sleeping with 3 guys just in the neighborhood. When confronted she said:

"You know I had a high sex drive, I didn't think you would mind".

We can both laugh at this now but ouch they hurt at the time.

1) "I didn't lie to you about going out with Office Bimbo! I just didn't tell you!"

2) "Sure, we can use POJA. But only as long as you find a way to say YES to what I want. If you don't say YES, you are controlling me."

Mulan

1. "I cheated because I thought you were going to die".

2. "If I had known how badly it would hurt you, I wouldn't have cheated".

3. "We're just friends".

4. "It's not like OM and I had sex every time we saw each other".

5. "Why did you pick him?" to which I reminded her that she picked him, not me. "But why were you suspicious of him and not some other man".

6. When I asked her if she wanted to R she said: "I just want to be roommates".

7. OM was married to WW best friend. When I asked WW if she felt guilty about cheating with BF H, she said: "No, because they had not had sex in over seven years".

8. "I was not the cause of their divorce. OM told me it had nothing to do with me". Right.

There were more comments, but you get the idea...

"I *DID* stop sleeping with her ... for a while."

(Turned out later it was for 2 days, when he had to work and couldn't make it to her house)

LOL, I remember him sayig some of these too.

IHE-you're right it wasn't so funny then, but here they are!

Oh, oh, I've got one that I have always loved (not really, but Geez it's a doozy!)

"I'm not currently having a PA, because I want to fall in love with OW before we get physical; I want to be sure she is the 'one'" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

YeOUCH!!

"I thought you wanted out (of the marriage) so I gave you a Biblical reason."

Would that qualify as a disrespectful judgement? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

"Despite what you may think, he (OM) wanted to see our marrige survive" (or words to that effect....heard a variation of that from OM as well).

Gee....saving our marriage by having sex with my wife and then pursuing her?!? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

There's probably more, but that's all I can think of right now.

Oh I have one! Actually I had a thread for a while called Dorkisms.

My favourite one that had me slack-jawed in total amazement.

Me: What do you want our R to be like.

Dork: Well I want us to have the same R you have with XX (My first H) YOu are still friends and you like each other.

Me: XX did not cheat on me. He wasn't scr*wing a colleague. He didn not abandon us. AND We went to MC a year before we split up. We made a mutual decsion to divorce.

Dork: WELL! I am doing the same thing only different!

WTF? WTH? HUH?

I burst out laughing and walked away shaking my head.

He said "I am not making any plans for a future with OW. I am a married man, it would be immoral of me to plan a future with another woman".

6 MONTHS AFTER OUR DIVORCE:

"You're Dating??!?! You're sick!! How could you??"


She was furious! Her immediate respnse was to begin her EA again at work, that I certain never really ended, which went to PA eventually....

1 YEAR AFTER DIVORCE:

"I would appreciate it if you would not come over to pick up kids with 'happy' music playing, you're rubbing it in my face that you're happy"

About Same Time:

Everyone thinks you're a joke, dating a younger woman (I was 39, she was 32- her PA partner?? was 45, she was 32).

My response was quite classic...

"I'm a joke? You're the CFO of a $100 million company dating a saleman, you're creating many more jokes than I am dear, would you like to hear some??" -

That response was what I said when I broke Plan B....I'm not sure but it might have been an LB

d-day confrontation:

"It's always about YOU isn't it."

"You can't help who you fall in love with."

"It's not an A - I never slept with him." (She did.)

confronted when caught in contact post d-day:

"This is bull$hit!"

OM is not exempt. My all time fave comes from him. On exposing affair details to OMW (she knew before I did but didn't know the extent).

"Wake up to what MDC did to W and I!!!"

She served him divorce papers 2 weeks after d-day on his b-day.

one more...


After one of many false break-ups when OM was going bat $hit.

"He's going through what you went through a couple weeks ago (d-day)."

oh and then there's the classic:

"We're just friends."

My WH and I are separated. I found out some stuff and wanted to know for sure what was going on so I put a recorder at our house; I was the one that moved out.

Two months later he found it and told me that what I heard were some "well rehearsed conversations" because he "knewe it was there all along." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Also that the two VMs I heard on his VM from OW were meant "to get me off the fence. If I thought another woman might want him, I would either commit to work on M or file for D. OW had done that for two of her other male friends. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

"If I didn't love you so much you wouldn't make me so mad."

Classic WS babble: DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF!

Being the 'obedient W that I am'.....Hm.... I had to touch his clothes to wash them....so I stopped. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Then I touched them for 1 last time, didn't know if there were 'cooties' from the A on them so I took his clothes and threw them on the front porch and lawn. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Oh yea....that was from the false recovery time.


L.

My personal favorites;

- "We are just co-workers nothing is going on why are you being so jealous". - After looking at all the after hour phone calls on her cell phone bill and even though they spent 8-10 hours a day together at work.

- "I never wanted a divorce and I never imagined you not being in my future, I just never thought we would ever get caught" - Even though she told me for 3 months the ILYBINILWY speech and the "I want a divorce its over"

- "Your jealously of him is pushing me away from you" -I guess the fact that they were "bumping uglies" was my fault, too.

- "I cant handle your mood swings, one minute your loving and the next minute your jealous of him" - That comes with the territory.

- "We have been together for 16 years and I dont even know you" - That one still baffles me. I guess she felt she knew him more after all the 2 hour bed-time phone calls.

- "Well, you can call it an affair if you must, I just call it a thing (something that just happened)". - LOL

- "I am so in love with you and want to spend the rest of my life with you" - The day after d-day and one month before I left to come to Iraq to make well into 6 digits.

This has all been a bottomless pit of craziness.

BTW excellent topic I definitely see a common thread.

Let's see...

"Why can't I have a W and an GF?"

"Well, at least I don't beat you."

What a consolation prize I had there....

When I contacted the OM(the single most stupid thing I did post D-day) and asked him to leave my wife alone so that we could work on our M

She pouted " I thought you had more class than that"

Kids really like OM and will be happy to live with "us"

BigK,

That one had to cut deep.

Let me think........

1. My exWS turned to me on a Sat. morning before he headed out to work and said "I've rented a house and I'm moving out. I love you, but I'm not in love with you"...blah, blah, blah. I had absolutely no idea things were that bad.

(I also had no idea he knew how to go about renting a house! Seriously, his first ex-wife and I had always been the ones to handle finances and household responsibilities! He didn't know how to write a check.)

Me: "Are you moving a woman in with you?"

Him: "No, she's just a friend from my AA/NA meetings that needs a roof over her head." (I guess technically she wasn't a "woman". My exWS was 47 and the "OW" was 21!)

Me: Sitting on the bed crying, speechless.

Him: "Well I have to get to work now. Can I have a hug and a kiss?"

Me: "No!"

WS: "Well why not????"
____________________

WS: "Well I went to drop her off at a hotel room because she had no place to stay for the weekend. Her housemate was having family over. I should have just left. But, I went back to her room and she was naked. She came on to me, but I couldn't get it @^. As I drove home I thought "Thank goodness I couldn't perform. It was my body's way of giving me a warning that what I was about to do was wrong! (That didn't stop him from going back to prove his body wrong!!)
___________

Before I had confirmed the affair but strongly suspected it:

I got a call from my OB/GYN at home one night. She said my routine pap showed I had a treatable STD, but my spouse would also need to take meds for it to not spread it back to me. I asked her if it was sexually transmitted? She said it most often was. She asked if I wanted to tell my husband or did I want her to. I asked her to and handed the phone to my exWS. He spoke calmly to her and hung up the phone. I said "So, what do you think about what she had to say....about this STD?"

ExWS's response: "Do you have something you need to tell me?"

___________________

WS: "Yes we used condoms!!!.......sometimes." (OW was 7 months pregnant with exWS's child when I confirmed the affair)
______________________

My exWS loved his motorcycle and guitars. I moved them out the Sat. I found out he was moving out, after he left for work. I was holding them "hostage" until I made sure he was going to come up with money to help foot OUR ongoing household expenses. My best friend and her boyfriend helped me move the motorcycle. He had a truck with ramps. We covered it up, padded it really well to store it.

When my WS found out that the bike wasn't there he was irrate!

WS: "I can't believe you'd do something like that! And as for ________'s boyfriend helping you move it. I can't believe a man would do that to another man! That would be like touching his wife!"

Whaaaaaatttttt????

Actually I totally laughed in her face and when she reported to the Kids that they could move in with her and OM when they got their own place she was shocked when they said "Thanks but we want to live with Dad"

And that was the beginning of the end of the affair. The fog started to clear at that moment.

Couldn't resist a link to a classic thread about fogese.

And some real doozies on the dumbest answer thread.

One of the best I still laugh about...when I was in my affair, I travelled to city A to visit my momfor a week, but also to see ex-OM...8 months later when H was in his affair, he asked to go see his brother in city B where exOW lived.

Me: Are you going to see her and not your brother?

Him: that's an unfair question...that would be as unfair as asking you if you were going to CityA last year to see OM.

Me: In hindsight, don't you think that would have been a VERY fair question at the time?

Him: Stomps off

Oh dear. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

I said "I didn't think you'd mind."

My wife when asked what she had thought I'd do when I discovered her affair said "I didn't think you'd care"

Almost the same as you Jen.

Yes, and it's very sad that we think that. Why on earth would we think that?

Edited to add that sounded like sarcasm or a justification. I mean it sincerely. What goes wrong in our brains?

sound the foghorn Jen!LOL

Oh, I had to edit the whole thing. I just got what you meant.

LOL I wasn't slapping you. LOL It's just fog talk when a WS says that stuff is all. LOL You getting paranoid now?

Yep, totally paranoid.

I got what you meant. I thought you meant I was foggy NOW.

No way, Jose.

How about, after lying, having an affair with a crazy woman, breaking promises to end his pornography addiction, lying during a false recovery, and then leaving the family home two weeks before his son's high school graduation, looking me in the eye and saying:

"I don't see that I've done anything wrong."

Still my favorite "beauties" :

OW (my "BF", or so I thought), on my asking why they didn't bother to use a condom:
"I'm not the sort of person who contracts STD's."

OW: "I didn't think it was wrong because it felt so right".

OW: "Your H really knows how to please a woman, I really enjoyed it!"
Me: "How can you be so insensitive to say that to me?"
OW: "I'm NOT insensitive!"

XWH: "Maybe we can have a threesome?"

One of the worst, but funniest was "When I sleep with you I feel like I am betraying OM." I couldn't help it I laughed in her face and said "Really, and how did you feel when you slept with him the first time?" Her respone "Well a little guilty, but I got over it." after laughing at her again I said "So I guess you'll get over feeling like you are betraying him just as easily." She stormed off. By the way I caught ****** for that one from Jennifer, should have said "Oh WW thank you so much for your honesty!"

My EX said the exact same thing...........

"Its OVER, you will never touch me again"

........3mo. later after SHE filed for divorce and it was over.

"You didnt even try and stay married to me, I didnt want this"

I was like......YOU filed, brought the papers to my apartment and had me sign them!!!!


WTF???? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

How did you justify this??

"I told him so long as he knew I was in love with you and didn't want anything more than sex, it was okay."

Her response to my son walking in and finding the OM "fingering her...

"He didn't know what he was doing!!!" (My son was 6 and ran up to his room crying!)

Thousands of "I don't remembers!!!"

What do you wnat out of me?

"I want you to not make me look like a bad person... I just made a mistake."

For 3 1/2 years... a mistake?

"It was all the same mistake. I am a good mother."

"I knew I would stop eventually and that you would either not find out or you would forgive me."

Why did you have unprotected sex?

"I never thought about it."

"I thought you didn't love me anymore",

"Its not like I slept around, I had an affair",

and my all time favorite,

"I love how you lost weight for me"
to my response of not for him but because of him , I didn't eat for about 3 weeks after DDay. Sound familiar?

send me on my way wins with this one...


1 YEAR AFTER DIVORCE:

"I would appreciate it if you would not come over to pick up kids with 'happy' music playing, you're rubbing it in my face that you're happy


ha ha ha ha...

very very funny.......

ARKie

Eagle- I had the exact same situation as you'd described...when her and I first started to reconcile, she had trouble "seperating" me from OM in her mind when we were physically intimate. What makes it slightly more humorous is that they never met in person...he lives about 2000 away. She'd thought about being with him that way when WE were 'together'...so she had to break out of that 'fantasy' mode afterwards...was odd, but it made a twisted kind of sense to me. She'd almost convinced herself that they HAD been together because of the intensity of her fantasy for him.

Another one of her good ones...

From WW (at the time) to me, about 5 days before d-day when I'd voiced I was concerned about how much time she'd spent with OM online:
WW: You have NOTHING to be jealous of...we're just friends!"

Direct quote from WW to OM in her IM session with him the day before d-day:
WW: "you HAVE NOTHING TO BE JEALOUS OF!!!!!!!!!!!!" "I'm in love with you, and I know I'm falling out of love with [me]"

And then my all time favorite. On the day she was supposed to leave and live with OM (whom she'd never met in person), he could tell she was 'fence sitting'...not completely convinced she should go be with him, knowing she was going to lose me in any way, forever. (I'd made that point pretty clear to her) He told her not to come...and broke off the 'relationship' with her.

WW (crying her eyes out while sitting there yelling at me for ruining things):
"Couldn't you have just let me go be with him and see if what we had was real? If it wasn't, I would come back to you!"

Talk about some seriously interesting leaps in logic! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Last...on the recovery side of things. About a month into recovery, while coming back from a trip to the MC, we picked up a book he'd recommended. "20 (Surprisingly Simple) Rules and Tools for a Great Marriage" by Dr Steve Stephens. She wanted to drive, so I was in the passenger seat reading the intro, and then the table of contents. I got to chapter 15..."Make Mutual Friends". (remember she'd INSISTED that OM and I spend tons of time together in the MMORPG we played...she wanted us all three to be 'friends').

Me: "Chapter 15...Make Mutual Friends".
<deadpan silence while it sinks in>
FWW: <looks over at me with a sheepish grin> "Well...I TRIED!"
<we both think about that for a second, and suddenly break into laughter that nearly caused us to get into an accident>

First fully on belly laugh we'd shared since d-day!

Have a great day everyone!

classic- "I am really PO'ed that you "snooped" (after finding calling card he used to call OW)The THIRD D-Day!!!

ofcourse-"We are just friends- you're acting psychotic!"

When I confronted him because I knew she told him she wanted him back-and wanted him to come "see her"(EA with former longterm GF)
He says, "That shouldn't matter- I know I don't want her back- so who cares if she wants me back?" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Still to this day says,"I lied to protect your feelings- I didn't want to hurt you" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

"I did nothing wrong except lie to you. I should have just told you we were talking."(they talked undercover everyday for 6 months) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Dobie, thanks for posting those links! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Reading through them again and then this thread proves that A's are really all the same....the WS script doesn't change much. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Lori

Owl,

You're killing me! Quote: "Well I tried!" AAHHHH!

Too Funny.

Have a great day!

My H dated a M woman for 2 years BEFORE we ever met.
When this was disclosed to me, I ofcourse questioned him about it.

I asked him why she didn't just leave her H if they wanted to be together so bad.

He stated with dead seriousness- "She could not divorce her H, her religion does not believe in divorce." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I had to pipe up and ask the OBVIOUS!!

SOOO, her religion believes in adultery???!!!

I actually think he had a lightbulb moment..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

OMG, I got the same thing from my FWW as well. At one point they even discussed all three of us going into business together.

Don't be mad at OW she had nothing to do with this.

You wouldn't put your house in my name so I never felt like we were together

OW is so much fun she likes to go to the bars and drink. She got so drunk the other night she couldn't even walk to the car she is nothing like you .......I was thinking thank God.

I always loved you but I didn't think you loved me so I really didn't think you would care.....I'm surprised at how upset and hurt you are over this.

This post was from a long time ago but it is hysterical!!

My hubby even added quite a bit to it. He was amazed by the crap that came out of his mouth.


http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...part=1&vc=1

Three months after d-day and me fighting seperation talk, my WW said...

"it will be an adventure for the kids to live in two seperate homes" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

OK...get ready...my WS has to get some prize in some category here....

"You don't know how really upset OW is about this A." (gee)

"How do you feel about the OW?" WS "I don't want to talk about OW." me "Oh, Me either!" WS

"Our marraige was over long before OW came along."

"Our kids will be fine as long as you don't keep them from me."

"My reputation should be important to you in this small town because I have to make a living here so I would think twice before I say anything to anybody about anything."

"If you tell people about me and OW I will be forced to tell them your bi-polar."

"As far as I'm concerned you and I are just roomates that F!@# once and a while."

"This whole time you think I was in limbo land I was really just trying to figure out my plan to leave."

"It's time to take off those wedding rings...you said you would go to mediation, you agreed, take them off!"

"You want a F!@# Your F!@#$% is waiting for you up at the local bar."

"I think you're just after my money."

"You have a drinking problem." (justification)

"You are a terrible housekeeper." (justification)

"I expect you to start work right away."

"OH GOD, get me out of this H##!!"

"Why is the fact that OW has moved around the corner insensitive...I don't understand?"

"If you really loved me you wouldn't have exposed the A to my mother."

"Just look at yourself, your pathetic and disgusting."

"Everybody knows you're a terrible housekeeper and I feel sorry for you because you come by it naturally." (justification)

"This last year (my plan A) you've put forth an heroic effort and if this was any other situation I would say ok."



Strongest

Its funny how our WS say the same lines, like there is a book out their on what to say. My WxH used many of the same lines. There has been so many lines/lies out of his mouth its hard to remember them all.

I remember when he exposed the A to me, He told me it would be okay with him if I wanted to have an affair.

or

Its God will that this all happened. I turned to him and said I didn't know God was into destroying marriages these days.

or

Since you have been so busy, I thought you would be happy that she can help you with your wifely duties. So I thought you would not mind.

or

I was the perfect husband until the affair.


Of course he used the classics, like

I love you but...

Wow....except for the I love you part, my wife said something very similar. Parts of that still come up occasionally...I really hate justification....

Mrs. Slick once said:

Marriage is a journey that has no finish line - so it's really more like a death march.


P.S., I had no idea at the time that she'd try to make it come true!

Just 2 days ago, after being confronted, with OW present:

"Weren't we broken up?"

Yeah, and still sharing a home, sharing a bed and being intimate.

Or how 'bout: "I wasn't being selfish. I just wanted to find out what *I* wanted. *I* wanted to see if I was missing anything."

"I won't go for counselling. Nobody could possibly understand how I feel".

Thought he was so unique!!

Oh, and the one that kills me:

"It wasn't your place to talk to OW. You had no right!"

and

"It wasn't your place to talk to her H!"

Yeah, dude, whatever. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Besides the typical stuff (ILYBNILWY, we're just friends, blah, blah, blah). I heard "Her (OW) H is a real jerk"...like my H was acting perfectly at the time.

We had a leak in our roof and I asked him if he was going to patch it. He (impatiently) said "It hasn't rained, so I can't find the leak." It was pouring down rain at the time and we'd had a discussion about it not two minutes prior to my question. FOOOOOGGGGGGGYYYYY!

"It wasn't in the plan for you to find out."

and two seconds later

"Do you think I had this planned?"

and then

"I had planned on stopping seeing her soon"

and then

"None of this was planned"

still yet

"Look, my plan was that I was planning to tone it down in the next week or so"

I guess the plans fell through....or not.

SB

"So you still expect me to pay for half of the new roof (on the house we own jointly) even though I'm moving out?"

"Other people only have one account, why do we each have our own?" then a few seconds later, "And why do we always have to pay for everything equally?"

"I don't care what other people think of me!"

"Why don't you just move on and find somebody else?" then after my comment, "Of course you're not ready to date yet, it could take months!"

"<DD> will have two happy families and two of everything!"

"He (OM) feels really bad for you"

"Listen to what your counsellor told you!"

"I didn't sign anything, I don't owe you anything. It's not like a relationship isn't a commitment."

"His (OM) marriage has never been a good one" (Gee, I wonder why? Guess that makes it okay to have an affair with him.)

"This is my chance at love and I'm going to go for it!"

Aaarghhhh! Pretty much everything she's said to me in the last few months is too crazy for words. Talk about fog!

Love_left. Oh my god. my wife told me her OM said the same thing:

"He (OM) feels bad for you"

She has subsequently told me:

"OM felt violated because you came here" heh heh... HE felt violated.

"Look what you did, now OM might not come back because I have a husband" My unspoken question: Did he care when he courted you? Did he care the first time he slept with you? Did he care yesterday?

"I'm not having an affair. Something happened and I moved out"

"The reason its over is because you told my mother"

oh wait one more.

"I don't want to hurt you." When what she meant was, I don't want to hurt you, so leave me alone and let me hurt you.

LOL.........that has me cracking up....hilarious.

Hey HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIRD. WOO HOO> Hope this year ahead is better than the one past.

Of all the dumb off the wall statements my H made during recovery the one statemnet that absolutely took the cake was....

"I never promised to be faithful to you when we took our vows. That was not part of our vows"

Huh???? "Where were YOU when we took those vows?"

I had to whip out our wedding video....replay it for him for him to believe that he DID promise to be faithful....

And no when he made this ludicrous statement it didn`t tick me off....it was so idiotic that even at that time that I had to laugh.

I also heard:

"She's (OW) so beautiful that thousands of people would want to sleep with her...men and women!"

Early in confronting her with the proof: “You are wrong; he is like a brother to me.” (It had already been a PA for 10 years with D-Day 1 a few years earlier.)

About two months after D-Day 2: “You just like being a martyr.” The next day I went to Plan B.

How about:

"You deserve better!"

"I can't stay with you, it will kill me!"

The OM's deposition under oath; sex addict, OCD, years of counseling, 15 extramarital affairs, 5 long term affairs including offers to M affair partner, no relationship with children or grandchildren, no friends, bankrupt, 23 years her senior, herpes, 8 month affair just 6 months before my EX WW, carrying on A's while on two mission trips, pathological liar, and much more from his own mouth....

My EX WW: "Well you just don't know him"

"I turned to someone who cares"

Over the phone....

"I'll accept 51% of the blame for this, but you have to accept 49%!"

He's lucky I didn't shoot him when he came home.

Aw.just for the ****** of it:

From Jamaica.

"He has ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME!"

"he protects me like you cant"

"he is just a good friend"

ILYBNILWY

"shoulda D you years ago"

"Imagine DS coming over 2 houses; getting 2 of everything"

"You think you are better than me huh?"

OM getting married the end of this month. Whose laughing now?

I hurt for my WW.

During a argument in which I said why don't you just go back to OM.

I would never be with him if we got a D.
I could do much better then him. (but he was good enough to have an A with)

During another discussion about OM in which I tried to express concern that she did a lot for him and doesn't for me. I know bad to compare.

Of course I did we have been together for 10 years now.

Then finally.

Even after all of the things she did for him.

He never meant anything to me. (My question was, can I mean nothing to you too because then I would be happy with how you treat me)

Oh and finally.
She said she liked the fact he was chasing after her and it went to far.

Well she slept with him the first night. What kind of chase was that a one yard dash.

I said that last part too.

My WH said today "Why do you want me to write it down? Is my word not good enough?"

WHAT?! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Ummmm...no, it isn't. If your lips are moving, you are lying. (thought to self)

lol.

Hey guess what my birthday friday coming Yeaaaahhhh!!!!

Well i gotta celebrate it with someone.

Because WW will say:
"I am affraid to show any affection, you might misinterpet it as us working it out or something.."

"she actually said this before.

OUCH. Guess its good to laugh at oneself.

FWH How dare you call her easy - we held off on sex until the first date and them we had the decency not to go to an hotel ... So we did what we did on the canal path - we had to, there was a bunch of teenagers watching us .....


I will never be attracted to you as I am to them ...THEM???

She is petite I feel I can control her easily and she is very pretty ...

Of course I want sex with you - I just haven't done it yet - (less than twice a year)

AND the humdinger ....


Why did you give Charlie my porn when I told you to? I wanted to tell him all about them, make sure they went to a good home ....

SP

Oh i forgot ...

H. You want me dead - you do don't you? yes You do.

Me. I have never said that, thought that or anything like that...

H. Oh yes now I remember it is me who wants you dead...

Also

I cannot be fluent when I say nice things to you - I can't get them out, the words won't run together.

I can only be eloquent when I am saying hateful things to you or about you.

SP

SP ouch.........whats your stich now?

If you search on me and then go to Recovery thread about passive agressive you will see it - don't want to thread hijack.

If you have questions, then I will make a thread to answer.

Linda

craziest thing: "you are not in the same understanding circle as the OM. you dont understand him."

"If you forgive what he did why are you still angry that he calls now?"

"if you were just being a man now (ouch) and mix a little of real world with your "good world" then we wouldnt be in this situation now."

heard anything similar?

oh now that we are in MC.

Well I am still very upset he had me arrested after I hit him. I don't know if I will ever forgive him for that. It was horrible, I was so hurt and humiliated.

Then she threw in something like "probably like he feels about my A."

I guess we are even now. I had you arrested for domestic abuse, that you admitted too. Which hurt and humiliated you and you had an A which hurt and humiliated me.

Try not to fall on the ground laughing at that statement.

Even the MC had a tough time digesting that info. LOL.

LMAO.............HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!(breathe...i gotta breathe) gulping air....LMAO!
award to HL for craziest statement by WS

Yeah for me. I am the big wiener!!!!!

wiener...hah!
good one HL

"I haven't been praying about this (divorce) because I know God doesn't want this but I want this."

"I am not a phone person." (Our cell phone records proved otherwise. OW's number appeared plenty of times throughout the weekend.)

As we walked through an electronics store, we passed the section where adult magazines and movies were displayed, WH commented with disgust, "I can't believe those men are looking at that stuff on their lunch breaks!" (Hmmm, as if taking the OW to a hotel on your lunch break is acceptable?) I was speechless.

xWH: "We had so much in common...........OW loves redwine and OW loves milk"

xWH: "OW doesn't understand why you have discussions with the kids, she'd be alot more "easier-going" than you are and she knows how to get along with children without stress!!!

(OW doesn't have children and she got operated 2 years after getting married so that she never will........when OWH married her, they agreed to have children.

xWH: OW dislikes cats like I do!!!
(OW had 13 cats of her own) ????? duh.............

xWH: OW saves all of her money and never spends it unwisely!
(OW didn't go to work, she was a "Stay at home Wife" and OWH worked like crazy to bring in the $$$$ in order to maintain their high life standard)

xWH: OW did EVERYTHING for ME!
(They only met 1-2 times a week and otherwise they talked on the phone) duh..............I was home, running the business, caring for the children, organizing things for our new house, shopping, household and and and)

Almost 6 years later, my husband cannot believe that he said these things............he sees how "Fogged up" he was at that time of his life, because NOTHING makes sence to him now.

bb

Just a ?: do they ever recall the stupid stuff they said? Or do they have to be told what they said?

Here's a few:

"Millions of couples divorce and they handle it fine."

"I did not committ adultery. There was no penetration." (he perfromed oral sf on her)

"You act older than you are." (because I have no desire to go clubbing and would rather be home with kids)

"You wanted me to be a little military wife that only hung out with other military wives." (not really, but kind of a given that you're a military wife when you marry an AF pilot)

"My dad said he would work three jobs if he needed to in order to provide for his kids. Get a second job." I make 90k a year and am struggling with CS. She makes 2k a month. Who should have second job?

There's tons more.

"You are too controlling"


(Married OM told EXW that no other man is allowed inside her home, or he will stop coming over to see her)

EXW said she was OK with that.


WTF????

my husband remembers "most" of the things he said... even though we hardly talk about that stuff anymore, he feels like a complete "Goof". <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

He can't believe that this was "reality" for him at that time of his life and he can't believe that he didn't question anything that xOW told him.

So many things that were said are indeed so stupid, the only thing a person can do, is "forget" them, they are just too embarrasing.

6 years later...............no need to remind him anymore and no need to even think about them. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

bb

How do they all manage to independantly come up with the same delusions?

"He has ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME!" - ditto, word for word

"Imagine DS coming over 2 houses; getting 2 of everything" - not quite wfw but, "DS will be happier because she'll have two of everything and two HAPPY FAMILIES" - all DS needs or wants is one family together - she's only 3 but she knows that for herself!

I'm not sure I like this thread anymore, all the ridiculous things WW has said keep popping back into my head.

Latest recollection from deep in the fog, "Life is short, I don't want to look back and regret staying in a bad relationship." and "This is my chance, I don't want to look back and regret not going for it."

EA started 18m-2yrs ago, PA 10m ago, D and E 9m ago but A still dragging on, fog as thick as ever.

"One of the things I love about OW is her devotion to her family." She's unmarried, but how could she be so family-centric, yet want to destroy mine?

Here's a new one. Just a few days ago - We were in a store and he saw a pendant I would like, suggested I try it on, and then said ...

"I love it on you, you must have it for your birthday. Oh it won't be a surprise on your birthday .... Oh I know what would be a really funny surprise -- is if you think I have bought it and then you find out on your birthday that I haven't!" Giggle giggle giggle...

He couldn't understand why I walked away, the sales girl choked, our friend out with us, about ran away to "look at something" the other end of the store ...

Then he said, in a hurt voice as if HE had been snubbed, "I thought I was funny - what's the deal?"

SP

Ok, I have a good one... I was talking with my wife recently and mentioned how she told me on many different occassions about how much she loved her life. We once fell asleep in each other's arms and she commented the next morning how it was wonderful falling asleep in her husbands arms.

She responded, "Oh, it must have been a 'false feeling'..."

WTF is a "false feeling"???

I didn't comment because I had no idea what to say...

How about -
"I threw her away for you"

I asked him to go to counseling - his comment
"no one is going to tell me how I should feel"

" the ow and i have so much in common" the only thing I could come up with is they both drove chevy pickups.

When OW showed up at my house to take herself out of the picture - which I was told she was already out - his first comments to her in front of me where "why" and "what do you want" then I got to hear - "I will stay through the summer but not one day more" and "nothing or nobody is going to change the way I feel about her"

I asked him how he could do this to our family - he said
"what family" - I think this one hurt the most.
Needless to say he was gone the next week - couldn't take it anymore.

I have another. LOL. I need to spread them out because my FWW was the best at these things. Clearly head and shoulders above the rest.

Back round. One night OM and FWW drove by a tatto/piercing place. He mentioned she would look sexy with a bellybutton ring. She jumped all over the idea and was nice enough to let me pay for it. Yep I paid for it.

One night we were out and I said hey lets go get a tatto. She said NO. Ok that hurt a little but I took a little solice that she didn't know I asked her to do it because he asked for the Naval ring and she did it.

Next day.

Her-
Are you mad I wouldn't get a tattoo?

Me-
It bothered me a little

Her-
Why

Me-
It just did

Her-
Well I didn't do it because I knew you only asked me to do it because I got my belly button pierced for him.

Me-
So you knew thats why I asked

Her-
Yes

Me
That really hurts

Her
We have been together for 8 years now it's different.

Me
What? So let me get this straight. For your husband who has stuck with you through thick and thin you won't do that but for someone else you will.

Her
Well I barely knew him things were really good of course I would.

Here is another one:

WH told me he didn't have any money for my b-day gift but in the meantime, he was spending $$$ on hotel/ motel rooms with OW. WHAT?!!

That really ticked me off.

Time to bring this one back up. We have a lot of new folks here that may be able add some prize winners. Here's mine:

Words and Wisdom of the Wayward – 11/23/06 to 1/5/07

On the Affair:

“I never meant to hurt you.”

“This is not about you, it’s about me.”

“We never planned for it to happen.”

“I didn’t even think you would care anymore.”

“You just have to let that go.” (referring to my insistence that the A was in fact a problem) “It has nothing to do with the problems in our marriage.”

“I don’t know” and “I can’t remember.” about two thousand times each.


On Exposure:

IF…….YOU…….CALL……..AND…… TELL……..HER……..I’LL……..
The above skit is best performed with a beet red face, clenched fists and jaw, and a snarling delivery through your teeth. She never finished the thought but my guess was it didn’t end as “buy you a new fishing rod.”

“Their marriage is none of our business.”

“It was never my intention to hurt their marriage.”

“I don’t know anything about her or their marriage and don’t want to”


On the marriage:

“I just grew up.”

“I still love you and care for you. If I didn’t I could be a real b!tch about this.”
Come on, I know you’re smiling! That has to be a MB prize winner!

“We have nothing in common anymore.”

“We drifted apart”

“I have too much anger and resentment.”

“You NEVER EVER……(fill in the blank with a positive thing).

“You ALWAYS….(fill in the blank with a negative thing).

“We NEVER EVER…..(fill in the blank with a positive thing).


Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.
--Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"The OM's wife should have known after his third affair that they were not going to work out"....(said this in the middle of her affair with this same man)

ALIENS!!

My WW said something similar. "I don't want anyone to make me feel bad about my decision."

Yesterday:
"how many [email]d@mn[/email] times do i have to tell you, our problems have nothing to do with OW!!!"

"you just have to trust me"

"is there no way i can keep my job?" (after d-day #1)

"for the first time, i look forward to going to work everyday" (yeah, b/c you're fuc$king your co-worker!!)

"OM is really a guy guy and I bet you would like him"


Here is one from OMW to my wife. Now remember my wife had an EA with her H for about a year.

"MRS M2L, when this whole thing is over I think you and my WH can still be friends."

AHH OK sure - that will happen in like NEVER. Stupid woman.

Yes...one particularly....

"OW has nothing to do with what's going on between you and me". (That was right after I confronted H about the first email that I read between H and OW) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

AND

"We're just friends"

I think I really appreciated when WH said, "It's slander, it's defamation of character" when I exposed to his HR department.

Riiiiiight, defamation of what character, exactly?

Oh, yeah, a couple of years ago, first EA/PA, he said that I was no fun, that this (arguing over his EA/PA) was no fun, and he that is part of why he's leaving. Again, riiiiight.....

My XH to me:
"You didn't have a problem having sex w/me after the first affair so why won't you have sex w/me now"..... after his second affair THAT I HAVE PROOF OF.

One of the excuses that stuck out for me early on was when she said, "Our M was a mistake because when we got married, you didn't know that I liked to read books."

Recently after her attempt and stay at the hospital:
"What ever pain you've been through, mine is 10 times worse!"

How do you respond to this stuff. You can't really. I just kind of make a face and say OOOOOKKKKK!

and at the same time I think of a coocoo clock going off.

OH!! This is my favorite. WW wanted me to feel sorry for other man.

"He had a nightmare that you went to his house and took me away from him."

Isn't that so sad. Doesn't your heart just bleed for the OM.

my fav
after exposure, and WS finding out about me listening to phone calls and reading emails

"I was just about ready to come back, but NOW you've ruined everything. do you really see this as a way to win me back?"

that's right, I'M the one screwing this up!@#$%^

Heard a lot of the same stuff from my WS:

"I'm really unhappy with the marriage, if I can do this (the A) so easily, isn't that a sign that there is something wrong?" [Yeah, with your head!] <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


And a classic from OW when WS told her I was threatening to expose to OW's parents:

"I wanted to call you for a long time now and settle this.." [Yeah right, 3 weeks already since D-day and suddenly the day after I told WS I would not let OW off easily she calls me up]

Then as she was ending the call:

"I really respect you as a person and as a friend"

I told her to cut the crap and she said hurriedly,

"Really! You were my customer also and we've dealt with each other before and all that"

[I have NEVER dealt with her at all, and we were never friends, she was just WS's colleague and we hardly ever spoke. Even WS said at the time that was total crap]

FWH said "I sometimes wish that you and I could stay married and you could accept OW too. Sometimes I daydream that you come to OW's house to pick me up and we all get along"

I remember sitting on the bed with my mouth hanging open wondering what alien had possessed my H's body because it would be a cold day in he77 before I accepted my H having a girlfriend and me playing the loving understanding and accepting wife. I hadn't found MB yet and literally thought I was going crazy at some of the stuff that was coming out of H's mouth.

I actually laugh at it now. It seems so long ago.

We had some dates before she left me, allegedly giving me a chance. Of course, I couldn't show pain in these dates or discuss the infidelity at all, regardless of how much I hurt.

I did hear some great ones:

Regarding why she put "divorced" on her myspace page when we were very much married.

"You won't believe the messages you get when you have "married" up there. I did it so I would quit getting messages from perverts."

"The only way I ever see us back together is if we divorce and have time apart to heal." (If this is the cure, I'd rather have the disease) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

"I'm so confident we'll be back together that I'm leaving the Christmas stuff with you?" Gee, you wonder why I would have hope and be jealous of her dating?

Regarding a female friend who was going to visit me AFTER she left and we were divorced, "I can't believe you can replace us so quickly!" (Someone who had only ever been a friend and still is).

After divorcing me, taking everything, posting herself as available on myspace, at the airport when she's heading out, she kisses me and says, "I love you." (Scratching head in bewilderment)

That last one isn't funny, but it is rather contradictory to her actions, don't you think?

Anytime after our D when I was taking steps to secure my rights as a dad or doing anything she didn't like, "If you do x/y/or z, you can forget about us ever being friends again!"

And finally, regarding how she turned her back on her vows, "Well, you didn't 'cherish' me!"

Me: You destroyed our M and the OM's marriage

Her: No I didn't destroy his M. She should have known after his third of fourth affair it wasn't going to work.

This is the same EX WW that now proclaims she can trust him unconditionally. (He admits to 4-5 affairs and 4-5 additional counts of adultery on his STBXW and another 3 affairs on his first wife) If it wasn't so tragic it would be comical.

Some funny stuff on here and I can relate to much of the verbal dirreah spewed by other WS's.

After 6 months of Plan B and seperated, WW said I was "making things worse" by not communicating with her. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

WW (at the time): "Do you know what [OM] regrets most about all of this? He really likes you, and really hates that he knows this is going to ruin your friendship."

Me: "LOL...some friendship, when the whole time he was sitting there acting like my friend when he's trying to convince you to be with him."

WW: "It wasn't like that. It just happened."

Me: "Oh? Didn't you tell me that he told you that he was attracted to you and interested in you from the very first time he talked with you? What does that say about his intentions from the beginning?"

WW: SILENCE


Or another fun one:

WW: "I HATE that you use the word fantasy to describe what [OM] and I have!!!"

Me: "Well, let's see. You're leaving me to run off and live with someone that you're compeletely and totally in love with...that you've never met. You've been IM'ing him for a couple of months. You started having phone conversations with him 3 weeks ago, and I KNOW that all of your phone conversations have totalled to less than 3 hours. You're running off to live with a man who smokes and drinks...even though you're allergic to cigarette smoke to the point of asthma attacks, and have a violent nausea attack at the THOUGHT of beer breath? It's NOT a fantasy? What is it then?"

The conversation went downhill. Even the counselor was baffled at how that DIDN'T qualify as a fantasy.

"You act older than your age."

"I did it (pity dates) to keep things nice between us." (before she left)

In regards to the 5 dates she had in the two weeks before I came home, "They're only dates if there's romantic intentions involved!"

Umm, the emails she sent these guys said things like, "You know you want me."

Oh, and a comment like, "I know where I can go if I ever need any lumber." was defended as, "Oh, come on! He works at the lumber department at H*** Depot! Only in your perverted mind would that mean anything else!"

Can I get some backup on that one? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I guess that the physical stuff that happened wasn't in search of romance. What is do you call a woman that does that? Hmmmm.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

After FWH's 2 day disappearance.

Me: Did you have sex with her?

FWH: Yes but it was short and fast.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

This is a classic--I think they all use this one. I know I heard it, but it's still kind of stunning to think that they could actually believe it.

Here's one: After it became apparent that affair was still ongoing and that I needed to go to Plan B but before she actually moved out, I was trying to go to sleep one night and could hear her downstairs talking to OM on the affair phone. I went down and said calmly "I can hear you talking."

She replied "I was talking to the TV."

"We have nothing going on; people are just mean and want to hurt us (H + OW)".
YEAH...RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

"God is telling me to leave you and the kids."

On telling him that there should be permanant no contact:

"That would be like me telling you I can never contact YOU again.


When I cut access to his credit card while he was off with OW on a whirlwind vaction with OW:

"That was pretty spiteful of you,don't you think?"

On the phone with him while he was on the road with OW and wouldn't give his exact location:

"You were talking to OW's H. I don't appreciate you lying to me about it." (Huh?)

"It just happened." (he deliberately went on the internet to meet women).

On the phone with teenage son while he's on the road with OW: "I'm doing you a favor...someday you'll appreciate this."

Before DDay:

Him: "Call me 'Daddy."
Me: "Why?"
Him: "Because I like it."

Daddy was OW's nickname for him. BARFFFF

A slew of others, but it makes me too sick to think about it.

Thank GOD, he is over it!

Oh how 'bout this: craziest thing OW said to FWH (that I know of) on FWH trying to break it off with her a couple times:

crying ... "wifey has some kind of POWER over you."
Wawawa ... imagine, me having power over him. Ooooo, how scary is that?!?!?!?

What a numnut.

What a low life bottom eater.

What an absolute KNUCKLE BRAIN...

How could I forget this one ---

on the phone with him while he is FL on DDay:

"I talked to a lawyer and I don't have to pay alimony, and I don't have to pay for S because he is over 16 years old. (He was 17).

Haha. Married 24 years and you don't have to pay mainenance? That was truly funny ...

OW must'a picked out THAT lawyer for him!

Maybe this belongs in another thread but:

WH's email to OW: "Something started with my wife in bed last night but I stopped it before it got too far. Feel terrible, like I'm using her and cheating on you."

bump

(a classic wayward-doublespeak) WW:

"Yes, I meant my vows to you ... to a certain extent!"

Or also my WH said the ole "I meant them at the time."....huh?



I also got told "I never loved you" and the "I was never happy in our M."

Then I showed him the beautiful cards he gave me, I mean they said how happy and in love he was....He said "Yeah, I had to give you those."....Huh?.... Well isnt it funny, coincidentally, that they stopped coming once he started having his affair. So I guess he did not "have" to give them to me then.....and I guess he was happy and in love with me until he met OW...Doofus!

He told me also that out of all the years we were together, he wrote them all down, that he was only happy one of those years...ONE.... And it was one of the two years we were together before were married.

Funny but we were together SIX YEARS before we were married....for someone who could remember only being happy for one year, he cant even remember how many years there were....DOOFUS!

Good Gods, are all these waywards the same!!! I'm sorry, if you didn't love someone, why the F#$% did you get married!?!?!? And if you were never happy, why the heck didn't you speak up?!?!?! It took an A to decide to FINALLY speak up?!?!? What the f#$% ever.

Sorry about the mini-rant, stillhere's WH's comments are the same that my WH said to me, and they still infuriate me. I didn't buy them when he said them, I don't buy them to this day. So there.

Dont you know?...They did not know what leerrrve was until they met AP's....


Yeah, "real" leeerrrve is when you lie, sneak around, cheat and only see each other when you can sneak the time in between time with your WIFE and CHILD. I guess you can only find that when you are married.

Ladies & Gentlemen,

As funny (in a very, very sick way) all of these wayward-sayings are, there are 2 key points here:

1) Isn't it amazing how 95+% of their marital complaints & discontents, legitimate or otherwise, are never effectively or clearly communicated until AFTER the adultery is well underway?

2) Isn't it amazing, if even 25% of the emotional effort & energy they expend in rationalizing, excusing, deceiving and concealing their affair, would have been effectively directed instead toward their marriage that ALL OF THIS HORRIFIC LIFE-DESTROYING DEPRAVITY would have been avoided?

I have come to conclude that most cheaters are highly insecure and immature people with very poor self-esteem who are utterly irresponsible towards their loved ones and their own self-professed values, standards, principles, and character.

They not only cheat on others -- they also cheat on themselves and the God they so often hypocritically claim to believe in.

Yes.

"I've talked to Phil (our MC - who was very pro-marriage and led me through much of plan A & B though we never called it that) and I want him to help you see that we can have a good divorce. It can be win-win. It doesn't have to be lose-lose."

OW aware I knew about the A :
Sorry, I did not mean to hurt anybody, I have to think of my family too

______________

WH sends SMS to OW 6 months after D day - with attempts to amend ways:
... blah blah blah and I LU (love you) and MU (miss you)

Me: How can you say you love me and say you love them too

WH: My love for you is different and my love for them is different

HUH? that never makes sense

________________

WS: I bought them stuff as a thank you for the work she does

HUH? Is he really making amends?
___________

Me: requesting for NC and all financial support goes through me

WH: Then the more they will distance themselves from me and they will not want to call you for anything

After I discovered $87 flower purchase on his bank statement....and after he lied about it, he finally said,
"these were sent as an apology to her because I made a pass and she thwarted it. I sent these as an apology."

He was "besmudging me with amnesty"

I am in the middle of the mess, but I have already heard a couple of head scratchers.

When asked why her and not me if he needed to be with someone and admitted he still loved me - his reply was - because she is just as pathetic as I am

Dealing with our adult children who still haven't spoken to him - his response is - well, when they are ready to either shout, cuss and yell OR have a decent mature conversation about it, they will call. We all make our own decisions, so their reaction is their decision.

X 2

committed

I just cannot believe this stuff! smh

"The fog" is a dangerous, insidious thing!

On D-day:

me: is there someone else?
WW: yes
me: *sigh*
WW: But you are still going to support us, right?

Fred, love your sig.

"I hope this (divorce) will bring me & the boys closer together"



Yeah, children just love it when their parents split, especially when dad leaves mom for another woman! That'll bring them real close together!

and...

"When is it MY turn to have some FUN?!"

uhhh, about 30 years ago before you became an adult, duh.

WW: "Just let me get a divorce. You can visit the kids and maybe I'll see something that'll impress me and I'll ask you to marry me again."

WW: "I don't love you. I love you as the dad to our kids."


WW: "We can just get legally separated if you can't handle a divorce."
me: "I'll put a clause in the legal separation that states that we can't we have to remain exclusive to each other."
WW: *silence*
me: "Would you sign a legal separation like that?"
WW: "No"

WW: "You only married me because you felt comfortable with me."

"Regardless of OW I would have got an apartment and moved anyway"

Oh there is a treasure trove of goodies Darth vocalized to me (kinda like an ape can vocalize) during that time.

One of my favorites, was this one. Background: the crazy, collagen-lip injected pharmaecutical sales rep, aka Monkeyho, conned my ex (the greatest con artist ever) that she really wanted to be "just friends" after I first busted up their affair. To "prove it" to him, she talked him into going WITH HER to a Song of Solomon conference at a megachurch within 2 miles of our family home, and a conference at which many of our sunday school class members attended with their husbands or wives.

So it was a another type of exposure that happened there, as our sunday school classmates called me and told him and Monkeyho to her big lipped face that his WIFE should be with him at this thing and asked who she was.

The liar told me after coming home and being caught "Look, you look like this as a bad thing. See? I brought home cd's for us to listen to. This will help us.

Me: Are you brain dead taking the other woman to a church in front of God and the world and our friends?

Him: You don't get it. SHE wants what is best for me and that's my family. You'd really like her if you knew her (I fell over laughing).

ah...I can remember it like yesterday. I think the best part was when my friends back home reminded him to his face he was married, that he should be at the conference with ME, and then proceeded to ask who Monekyho (aka Prudence) was.

Fast forward from 2004...Last year in 09' Monkeyho got married and while she has one or two somewhat mutual friends back home (friends of mine), she refused to announce her marriage in the newspaper (everybody does), has an unlisted address and phone number, and keeps all her information private, including FB. She lives like she's running. And she should. One of those mutual friends was afraid I'd show up at her wedding during the part where "does anybody have any reason you should not be married" part...I LOVE that I have an effect on her still, from over 300 miles away.

Btw, she married a guy who is unattractive, fifteen years older than either she or I, is wealthy (her requirement) and WAS MARRIED when they met. So such is the life of a serial, profiteering, privaterring other woman. A life where she is running and can never live in the light of the day, enjoying sunshine, truth, and transparency like I can.

One of the most shocking ones came during the brief period of limbo between WXH asking for divorce and me discovering the A. WXH's plan was to get me out of the house and move OW in. Of course, he was being overly reasonable by giving me until the end of the month to find a place. I had actually taken steps to get approved for a mortgage and was 1/2 way on my way to making real steps towards moving. When I found out about OW we had this conversation:

Me: No way is that *(&*@! setting foot in my house!

WXH: You are being unfair. She's a far nicer person than you. She will actually let you stay here until the end of the month! You can even have the spare room!
(what? as opposed to the garage????)

Me: She doesn't get to "let" me stay in my own house!

WXH: Well, she has already transfered her DD to the local school here so I guess it is her house. You are so rude to not be grateful for her hospitality. She's such a wonderful person. You are such a (*&(*&!!!

now THAT is funny!!!

WW: "Every time you talk to someone about the affair, I'll just have to go and have sex with OM again."

Here's another from the tainted treasure trove:
I'd just found out about then h (now xwh) was at ow's house and was busted being there by my bff.

Xh walks into front door carrying packages from the mall nearby. He walks in munching on gummi bears (my fave snack).

me: (this was before MB) Get OUT. I know what you've been doing.
xwh: What? I was shopping. I went out to get a few things I know you'd want?
me: What? Did you go to the ho-depot?
xh: I got gummi bears. I can only get those gummi bears at the mall.

Yep that's what I got. A guy pretending to try to make me think he was at the mall shopping for the last four or so hours. He came home with nike tennis shoes for me (I don't wear nike, wear new balance) and gummi bears.

Fwiw, I couldn't get that mental pic out of my mind for years. I also almost gave up gummi bears.

do you like Peach-0's? There are always peach -O's.

So, are you ok with gummi bears now? One thing that struck me on your post was the sneakers. WH complains that I don�t listen to his wants and needs etc. HE is the one that doesn�t listen or remember what MY wants and needs are. He will mention on Tuesday he is going to do xyz on Saturday. Saturday comes and then he gets ready to do xyz. If I temporarily forgot and say anything like �what are your plans again?� He goes off. I have tried to explain to him that I need everything written on the calendar so I can keep track of everyone�s stuff. (We have 4 kids) On the flip side he forgets or just doesn�t care about the kids or my schedule. For example, our youngest goes to religious education on Tuesday evenings. She started at the beginning of September. Just a couple of weeks ago I was heading out to pick her up. I said to everyone �I�m taking off, I will be back in about 45 minutes.� WH asked where I was going�.. I told him AGAIN nicely. He said �oh, yea that�s right. I keep forgetting because last year she went on another night.� So it is ok for him to forget but not me? It is the same thing with things I don�t like. I can�t think of anything right off the top of my head because I don�t hold onto things like he does. I do remember just recently he offered me something (food item I think) that I don�t like and have mentioned many times I don�t like. Could have been a good fog babble moment. Maybe next time.


Love your sig. Can you point me in the direction of your stitch? I love the fact that after everything you have gone through you came out a better person and even got remarried! I have always said I would never get married or date again. I see now that I really didn�t have the marriage I that thought I did. I still can�t see myself dating again but I know things may change in a few years. I mean many years lol!!!!

my favorite last night on the phone: ws lamenting over NO MONEY(cuz he impulsively leased a very expensive apartment) i told him i went to mall, dropped 3 sizes(he wasn't listening but i wanted to brag) bought jeans with a coupon and final cost to me was $3.17. he said, "i can't believe you're out shopping when i can't afford to EAT. that doesn't sit well with me" or something pretty close to that hahahahaha. 3 bucks? really?
enjoy that CANNED soup big boy(he took 100 canned goods from the pantry)

This is a classic case of WW crazy thinking! Of all the things to take he took canned goods? I bet he left more expensive or necessary things. Too funny.

Well fwiw, I will have a gummi now and then, but will try to do the peach ring gummi thing instead!

I'm still laughing about MIP's crazy wh who got mad about her buying jeans and then stealing the soup. I think him stealing the soup was to try to look pathetic or garnish sympathy from you. Or else he's one mad soup lover!

In the past I was notpeachyinga, I think. Also have been justpeachyinga.

I changed screen names as the evolution of the wacky ws stuff continued and as we went from discovery, to separation, to divorce.

OR he is just "MAD"

I'm still in the mess but I've heard these doozies:

"I'm not having an affair, it's not like that"

"It's not like that, she's just helping me through my crisis" (while sleeping with her... I guess his genitals are having a crisis, too)

"You don't understand, she takes care of me, she LOVES me"

bump

I liked, Well not at the time but they make me smile now:

'we have a connection' (yep just didn't realise it was genitally)

'Why can't you just be happy that I am happy'

'You liked the changes in me' (yep but that was before I knew you were bumping uglies with my exBF)

'But it (the sex) didn't happen often' (Oh well thats just fine then)

yada yada yada

some were too horrid for words, others just bonkers!