I have tried to make this marriage work for the past 4 months. I went through he77 ending her affair with her college punk boyfriend. I worked Plan A to the best of my ability. I even thought she was doing her best to make this marriage work. But, I kept struggling with putting her affair in the past. It gnawed at me daily, that something still wasn’t quiet right. Now I know what wasn’t right and can say with authority that this marriage is OVER!

Last weekend, I went to the basement to get something out of the closet in our guest bedroom. As I closed the closet, I noticed something under the bed and when I looked closer I found that it was a pair of my wife’s underwear. That seemed a little suspicious since no one is ever in that room and we haven’t had guests in there since Christmas. For some reason, something told me to check the sheets and when I did they were soiled, if you know what I mean. I was literally sick at the thought of her bringing some sleaze into our home and doing this.

My imagination went wild, but I calmed myself down before she got home. I didn’t know for a fact that the sheets had been changed since the room was last used at Christmas, but I felt sure that they had. So, I attached a voice activated recorder to the back of the headboard. I checked it everyday but found nothing until Friday.

She picked up the kids from school and headed to meet her parent’s at their lake house for spring break. When I got home that evening, I checked the recorder again and BINGO! It’s probably good that she isn’t coming home until Thursday so that I don’t do something stupid. Listening to her and what appears to be some guy from the gym she’s working at on that tape brought back all the images from discovery in November. I just want to know why! What possesses a woman who has been faithful our entire marriage to get into 2 affairs in less than a year

I called my lawyer, who is a good friend also, on Saturday and he is working on the paperwork today to file for D on the grounds of infidelity. I still have the proof from her affair with college boy and now I have the recording from last week. I guess what I’m looking for here is acknowledgement that I’m doing the right thing.

This almost killed me the first time and I don’t think I can ever trust her again. I have spent the weekend packing all of her stuff up and stacking it in the garage. What I really wanted to do was burn all of her crap in a bonfire, but my lawyer didn’t think that was such a good idea. I hate being back here, but I don’t know where else to turn. I have hesitated to post again because frankly it’s embarrassing to be made a fool of twice in the matter of a few months.

Any advice on how to get through this so that my kids aren’t sucked into the destruction?

Sorry to hear this. I followed your other thread and it seemed like things were progressing.

I don't have much advice on the kids. It'll be hard on them but you can't keep living with a serial cheater.

"I guess what I’m looking for here is acknowledgement that I’m doing the right thing."

You don't need approval to continue to try and save this marriage or end it. Do what you want.

I remember you, WW working at the college, and college boy. I don't remember if you did a full exposure. Did you?

Did WW actually give up her college job?

What was the last you heard about OM 1?

Wow, this is almost too shocking to be true.

The only thing that I can say is that she obviously isn't interested in your or your marriage.

Two times in such a short timeframe would be one time too many for me. Heck, two times in ANY timeframe is too much.

Sorry to say that this would be a dealbreaker.

Oh MG, I am so sorry to hear this...

As part of the divorce filing, are you seeking emergency custody as well? Can you manage to take care of the kids to give them some sort of stability since it appears they will have none with her?

I would wait till she is about to arrive home and then let her folks know what you have found. This is not to expose in the sense of fighting again for the marriage but merely to let them know why you are tossing her butt into the street.

Save a copy of the fle from the DAR someplace safe like on a CD, a thumb drive or an off site storage facility. Never trust a single copy of anything digital...

Hang tuff, MG...

Mark

Sorry to hear the latest round. Good job on snooping and understanding your gut feeling.

You are no fool - your wife is broken. She made the choice to sacrifice her marraige and family. You have nothing to be ashamed about -

Good grief - having a recording must have been awful. Its bad enough to have the mind movies of someone being with my wife but I didnt have to witness nor listen.

Sorry about the bad update MG.

I believe you are making the right decisions.

Time to just take care of yourself and your children.

WW needs some serious professional help. You can't fix what's broken in her.

Are you going to expose again after Thursday? If this is a client at the gym she will likely lose her job there too.

The only thing worse is actually having to see it, which has happened to a few folks around here.....

My DH had two affairs within a short period of time. He didn't however, lead me on to think that things were "just fine" and then bring someone into the marital HOME. That WOULD have been a deal breaker for me.

This is a horrible thing for her to do to you. It's not only a second betrayal but a double betrayal for screwing another man in YOUR HOME. Then pretending like everything was okay.

I don't think anyone would blame you for bailing. So sorry this happened to you... I was one of the ones that believed she was truly broken and sorry. Looks like she was just ashamed that she got caught the first time.

MG:

I'm SO SORRY to have to hear this....

I thought that you were going to be a success story.

What this proves is that RAH-RAH Boy wasn't the first.

He just happens to be the one she was caught with first.

Its one thing to boink a "new" OM at a hotel or car, its quite another to bring them to the house.

That establishes a fact pattern of behavior that may have existed for years in your marriage.

You can divorce her, or work it out. Both are choices. But it seems that all the RIGHT things happened after DDAy to get to a better marriage. They didn't. The kids will be hurt. Either way. She made that choice, now you make yours.

Divorce seems the appropriate route. You can file for Divorce and then control the speed of the case, IF she seems to be doing the right things.

Once almost killed you, but I don't think that Mrs MG has had "just" 2 AP's in the past year. There is so much more you don't know. RAH-RAH was just the one she got caught with.

Sorry, MG. I really, really feel for you.

LG

This is sickening and I am so very sorry you are going through this...one discovery is too much for many people; two discoveries and I don't blame you one bit.

MG,

So sorry to hear this horrible update. If it were not for the first betrayal you probably would never even thought of the recorder to snoop.

IMMEDIATELY GET TESTED FOR STD'S AND HIV. And follow up again in six months for another HIV screening.

Your wife is a serial cheater and even Dr H. doesn't think its possible to save a M from a serial cheat.

So sad. Protect those kids of yours.

All Blessings,
Jerry

MG,

I am also sorry to hear of this. YOu asked for advice about keeping the children from being sucked into this. I don't think you can avoid it. However, I do think you can minimize the damage by going to see a child counselor NOW, and then setting up appointments for your children later.

I think HOW you decide to handle things will make some difference in the level of damage to the kids. I don't mean should you try to save the marriage, I mean if you have decided to end it, and I can certainly see how you could make that decision. How you end it is the key. A lot of trauma and drama is probably not good, but not all of it can be avoided.

Seek out a counselor for some advice about how to accomplish what you want and then sit down with your lawyer to fine tune the plan.

You were not a fool. You are married to a woman that at this time has no moral compass. You cannot fix her. YOu never could. She will have to fix herself hopefully she will seek counseling for her issues as well.

I would definitely expose to her family and yours. Your children will need a lot of support and good support will not occur unless the family members know the story, if not all of the little details.

Again, I am sure you are back and it turned out like this.

God Bless,

JL

Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry you are hurt like this again. I can't even imagine the horror of it. It appears you are getting the best support and advice here.

I have no words of wisdom, but admire your ability to keep calm and take care of yourself and your children. How old are your children? Do they know what happened last time?

MG,

My heart goes out to you brother!!

The second betrayal, knowing the effect of the first on you, shows her disregard for you, the kids, and HER FRIGGIN LIFE AND UNIVERSE AS SHE KNOWS IT!

No quandary here...BIG DEAL BREAKER!!

So much I want to write here, but I am speechless.

Again, our thoughts and prayers are with you my friend.

Stay strong and God Bless you.

kirk

Go you for working so quickly....I am sure she will get the shock of her life when she returns.

Are you going to re-expose her so her family knows it's because of a new affair and not you unable to accept her previous one....which she will try to spin....since your unstable and kicked her out of the house.

You are not a fool. You may have too big of a heart...

IMO, the first thing I would do is move heaven and earth to make sure your kids don't get to live with her!

Then kick her butt out on the street.

She can always hit rock bottom and work hard to EARN the right back into the family. But you know that will never happen without you taking strong action.

I'm so sorry!

MG,

ONe additional thought. If you still have the "soiled" sheets, keep them in a bag, or better yet get them tested. The voice recording might be misinterpretted. "soiled sheets" with his DNA on them and hers coupled with identification what soiled the sheets would pretty much put the nail in this one.

God Bless,

JL

Good catch JL!

Put them in a NEW baggy NOW! Pillow cases too!

No matter what cards she plays, you have the trump card...

Do NOT play this card till you need it.

Do NOT let her know you have it!

Mark

If I were you I would safety deposit box that stuff...along with any valubles you don't want her taking should she come into the house.

So sorry to hear this mg. After the exposure and fallout of her A with Rah Rah Boy, if she could cheat again after THAT I'd be on to Plan D too. Unbelievable!

If I remember correctly, her father was an upstanding and level headed man. Perhaps you can speak to him after confronting WW. Even if you get divorced you will have to deal with WW for years to come. If her parents can be of any influence to help her get her act together for the children sake that would be ideal. I know it's early but you might want to talk to your attorney about what you can do to make sure WW isn't parading men through her house if your children are present. Your children don't need to be subjected to that.

Make a copy of the recording just in case something happens to the original. Sorry you are back here, but you have no reason to be embarrassed. We will be here for you.

Sorry to here about this....I double blinked when I saw this thread pop up.

Do cheat again and to soil the family home this time!!! Then leave remains around???

Sorry to here about this....I double blinked when I saw this thread pop up.

To cheat again and to soil the family home this time!!! Then leave remains around???

I agree. Best to divorce her and fight for the kids(which may be an uphill battle, depending on where you live and other factors).
Your wife must be very badly damaged and is so broken she may not be fixable. Regardless, you need to take care of yourself and getting away from someone so toxic should be a priority.
I dealt with finding out about my XW's secret life, which was much more "extensive" than I ever believed, even after discovering the main affair. There is a vey good chance you know the tip of the iceberg.
Sorry you are going through this.

I'm so sorry MG. This would be a deal breaker for me also.

Re-expose to the family and get your evidence safely put away.

You have no reason to be embarassed. You fought the good fight and you can look back and not regret a thing.

I'm going to ask something really rude.

Is it possible your wife is earning money having sex with strangers?

I apologize for my blunt question.

Totally don't understand this Q from you Pep. How could you ask that of a man who is on his knees?

Need a salt shaker?

All Blessinigs,
Jerry

I ask, Jerry, because she is behaving like a woman who sells herself. I know it is a horrible thought, but could it be any more horrible than what his wife is doing.

I do not understand the salt shaker thingy.

AS in pouring salt into this poor man's wounds!!!

Many a women sell themselves with no charge. It's called addictive adultry.

My heart bleeds for MG.

All Blessings,
Jerry

I didn't think your Q to MG was rude, I thought it was heartless.
All Blessings,
Jerry

OK - your opinion is noted.

huh?? What if its true?? How is heartless to ask a relevant question, Jerry? What if its true?

Well that's a new theory here on MB isn't it?

This M can't be saved because your WW is a whore. She must be stashing all this money away somewhere so she can ultimately leave you and say thanks, sucker.

This must be a great relief to MG. At least now he understands "why."

hmmmm so you don't think it would be better for him to know if thats true?

When is the last time here on MB that you concluded that a BH' s wife was a whore????????

All Blessings,
Jerry

OK Jerry - your opinion is noted.

I think yesterday. no, this morning!

I am really sorry that this has happened again. One thing you may need to come to terms with is she has been having affairs for years.

Just think you caught her sleeping with 2 other dudes in a very short time. More than likely she has slept with others. A woman that cheats would normally not do it again so quickly unless it was a pattern with her. If it would have been a one time thing with the other guy I just don't see her finding a guy and bring him to your home so soon.

And to me it would not matter if she is charging other men or not. I would not think better of her if she was doing it for free with these guys. My marriage ended the day she slept with another guy and I have never had to worry about it again since our divorce.

But I know how you tried. Some people are not marriage material and if your wife is sleeping around I know how it hurts. Sorry for your pain it sure hurts

I thought Dr H's opinion was that we are all wired for an A. Isn't that what he said??

But now we take it to a different level, if you have an A you are a whore!! I think some wonderful WS's on here would have a very serious issue with that notion. Not the least of which Mel, are some very good friends of yours.

Why don't we quit while we're ahead. This notion is going to lose you some very good friends.

All Blessings,
Jerry

Agree. I have a higher regard for those who get paid for putting out.

I had you chalked up to being a success, but I guess your WW had other plans.

I hope you are safe and that you have friends or family there to support you in what is probably the worst time of your life (even worse than the first time) because she has not only defiled herself, but your home as well.

Please be safe, and if you need help, seek it immediately.

REFORMED whore, Jer! Reformed!!

Have you told them that they are a "reformed whore."

I'm sure they will be thrilled to hear that.

All Blessings,
Jerry

Jerry, you are the only one here who has called them a whore.

You know what? I never said this. I never used that word either. I don't think I have ever used that word posting on MB. YOU use that word, I do not !

I asked a question because there is something unusual about this situation that strikes me as odd and caused me to be curious as to whether or not golfer might not be dealing with a run-of-the-mill WW. Something very sad and, possibly, something much more pathological.

I ask because I want to be told "No. That's not possible."

So Jerry I said (twice)


OK - Your point is noted.

I ask questions when I want to fill in some information gaps.

This is a very curious situation.

So, Jerry - OK - Your point is noted.

Please stop referring to this woman as a w____. That is not what I said.

Your right Mel, here are your words above.

I forgot to use the word "reformed."

ALL Blessings,
Jerry

Jerry, now you're being ridiculous; that was said in response to your commment that my friends are whores. No one else brought it up but you.

this needs to stop, Jerry.

There is a side argument going on here that I can't see benefiting mgolfer in any way. I think mgolfer would be better served if that argument were moved to its own thread.

**edit**

**edit**

Let's end this line of discussion NOW and get back to helping this man. If this doesn't stop, the thread will be locked.

I read you whole back story and I am so sorry to hear that she did this to you again. Are you having the sheets semen tested? Or you can just hide the sheets and tell her you will be getting the results in a week, and if she wanted to tell you anything b4 the results came back. You should save them and the results for the trial. I've heard of stupider cheaters, I just can't remember when. I hope you can get custody of your little ones.

You know the lies are going to start all over again. I hope your lawyer moves fast so you can greet her with a kiss and the papers.

From what little I think I know about women, this behavior just seems really strange. There is something broken inside your W. This seems more like an addiction.

I am so sorry that this has happened. This is a real danger for people who attempt recovery and it unfortunately happens more and more.

I would love to know how often this actually does go on in so called 'recovered' marriages?

Again I am truly sorry for your pain but at least now you know.

OK, you have a couple of days to plan. If I may make a suggestion. Tell her to meet you at your parents house with the kids because you have the evening planned for you and her. Get one of her bags pack it with enough of her stuff to see her for a few days don't forget the lingerie the skimpiest one she has. Throw it in the back of the car. Meet her at your parents tell them that they need to watch them for the evening. Go and rent a motel room. Nothing fancy. Take her to a wonderful dinner. Anything she wants on the menu. But no drinks. You want her sober for this. After dinner you take her to the motel. You take her up to the room. And then you tell her to go into the bathroom and get dolled up in that sexy little nothing (you want her almost naked). While she is in the bathroom you set the stage. You hide her clothes. You don't want her running out before the finale. When she comes out in that little bit of nothing you have the panties in your hand. and a copy of the tape on a boom box. You play it for her loud. And watch her face. Tell her besides the tape you have the sheets being tested for sperm and DNA to prove that she was there screwing and you weren't. Then you tell her you have rented the room for a couple of days so she could think of what she has thrown away and what she might want to do for a living after the divorce. Then tell her she is a skanky tramp and that you are well rid of her. And that you look forward to finding a replacement that can keep from spreading her legs for anyone but you. And how you are going to love and cherish her for the rest of your whole life. How is that for getting punked. Leaving her stuck in a sleazy motel with a skimpy nothing on. You may want to call her dad to come and pick her up and take her home to his parents place. This is a low cost but extremely effective way to hit her with both barrels. Good Luck

**EDIT**

**EDIT**

Can anyone who wishes to continue that W-hole line of thought please start a new thread and take the argument there? If you persist, this thread is going to get locked and, BTW, it isn't helpful to mgolfer.

Stop disrupting this thread! If you don't have something productive to add, then do not post.

Thank you.

mgolfer,

While the whole abandoning-WW-naked-in-the-sleazy-motel-room scenario must be admired for its creativity and would likely serve your sense of personal justice, I'm betting your divorce lawyer would recommend against it.

Just my opinion.

One more thought: should you choose to go against my advice, make sure the sleazy motel room has a mini-bar. You don't want to risk an abuse charge too.

Ok, he can take all the evidence with him. and can justifiably say that they went there to hash things out away from the children. She is free to call her parents from the room. He is not imprisoning her. Hell he could say she kicked him out when he confronted her. The only way this could turn out better if she hit him and she was dragged downtown on a spousal abuse charge. Lawyers are not the soul arbiter of what is right, just what is legal. And there is nothing illegal about this.

mgolfer,

There is a school of thought that says waywards all think they are so brilliant and we BS's are so stupid that they will never get caught. This careless attitude is, more often than not, their undoing.

On the other hand, my mother used to have a cat. It was the most unaffectionate cat I had ever seen. We could go for days without seeing that cat but then the cat would walk into the living room right in front of where we were sitting and calmly yet quite deliberately proceed to pee on the carpet. The cat did this repeatedly. Eventually out of frustration, we took the cat to the vet only to be told the cat had a UTI. When we got back from the vet, the cat stopped peeing on the carpet. A few weeks would go by and then the cat, out of the blue, would pee on the carpet again. Sure enough, another UTI. This was the cat's way of communicating.

My point is that maybe, if even only in her subconscious, your WW was hoping to get caught.

I never said anything about legality. My concern is how it might play out in divorce court - especially if custody is an issue.

And BTW, I'm not trying to be critical of you. Quite the contrary - I admire the genius.

ok well guess we won't mention anymore comedy skits to at least bring a laugh to some people....A sense of humor can always keep people in better spirits to survive in the most darkest of hours....It keeps you human.

If you find the funny even the smallest thing....at a time when things may be there wost it will sometimes help you persavere.....I know when my exh used to start crying and trying to start a fight....I just imagined him as a big baby with a bonnet and a rattle.....actually made me laugh...smile...and not fall for the trap....remember that when the gates open and the war is on. It may just help ya.

It certainly does. In fact, keeping my sense of humor is what kept me alive during those dark times.

Hi SIHW.....

Folks the mods are seeking some clarification about this thread. I'm going to lock this until then.

With all the evidence he has, I think that any sane judge or jury would consider this a punishment suitable to fit the crime. She is never in any danger. It is a he said/ she said. And the picture of her in a sleazy motel, in lingerie, with her marriage ended is the perfect outcome to what she has done. In fact he doesn't even need to confront her. All he has to do is leave her there, with a copy of the tape and a letter, and of course no clothes. Actually she would still have the clothes she came in with. And he could even call her father and tell him to go pick her up.

Taking her from the high of a nice dinner and the prospect of making love, to the depths of the realization that her marriage is ended because of her own callous infidelities is only a reckoning of what she has done and what she has become.

And I know your concern is for mgolfer. I know if there is anyone who could appreciate the poetic justice of this, it would be you pio.

Where the heck is this thread going?

Revenge is NOT the point. Getting even isn't going to happen. Humiliating her will not make MG feel any better about what has happened nor make the images in his head go away.

MG, protect yourself. You do have to confront her and deal with her crap but you don't have to get sucked into it yourself. You have the moral and ethical high ground. Use that to your advantage and forget all this foolishness about how to make her feel as bad as you do.

It all might be poetic, but none of it is productive. Poetic justice is for literature and in the absence of justice it's still just us...

If you are done, focus on being done. If you are unsure, seek clarity. If you want to try yet again, get a plan that accomplishes that goal. Why get sidetracked with discussions of what you can do to get even. You can't get even. If you were like that, YOU would be sleeping with strange women while she attempted to repair the relationship. You can only get even by lowering yourself to where she already is...

Whatever you decide MG, MB will be here to help you get through it. But I'll bet none of this talk of revenge has you feeling any better. Set your goal whether that be divorce or another attempt at reconciliation (though I would advise against that right now) and focus on the goal.

Plan B is for just such a time as this. It can give you time to decide what you need and want. In the next two days let's try to come up with a plan to achieve your goals.

Leave the drama for the matinee at the cinema...

Mark

Just worry about getting the kids.

Gather whatever evidence you can and find the best lawyer you can.

Give her as little notice as possible and never let on what proof you have until you're in front of a judge.

Sorry your in this position.

Duh....you're

ITA! mgolfer, i am sorry you are back as i was one who had hoped that things were looking up for you. However, i now think you have a better picture of who you THOUGHT was your wife. Getting caught was bound to happen, but i too think that RR boy was not the first. He was just the flavor of the day. After the textbook exposure you pulled off, if your WW had any remorse, any commitment to your marriage, she would have been walking the straight and narrow.

if it were me, i would go get my kids and give a copy of the tape and pictures of the underwear and sheets to her parents. when she shows up to get them she will not have a clue what is about to hit her. then reamin calm and tell her to stay at her parents. at this point, you need to see HER for what she is. these guys are just being manipulated into doing what SHE wants. My heart goes out to you.

Golfer,

I truely feel for you. I second everyone's comments to divorce. Her actions show she has no remorse and quite frankly no interest in the family. I strongly suggest that you file for divorce as well as get a separation agreement in place and legally get her out of your home ASAP. With a WW, get ready for all sorts of dirty tricks to make you look like a raving lunatic. Actions of revenge will never play well in court. Just keep cool, calm, and collected and come up with a plan of what YOU want to do.

It simply amazes me how dumb some people can be. In your own house and didn't even clean up. Incredible

I'm sorry MG for this turn of events.

Invite us all as witnesses to her divorce trial.

OK,OK, I recant the suggestion of revenge or a reckoning. Not everything I say are pearls of wisdom (DUH?). I just like to allow the full weight of consequence to fall on the cheater head. To really make them think what they have lost.

Mgolfer, help me understand:

You mentioned in an earlier post that you were unsure whether to continue the marriage. We all understand that the last actions are her fault.

My question is... do you think she felt neglected in her marriage in order to find sex elsewhere?

Dude...neglected or not.....it's no excuse for what she's done.

Especially bringing a strange man into the home where her kids sleep.....what if he is some phsyco who comes back and cleans them out or hurts the kids.......she's rather dumb in my book to not put her family first.

Secondly she's dumb because she thought she could get away with it....especially so close in time frame from her last affair.

She ruined her life and career the first time....she's obviously a slow learner.

I haven't been around much, but I had to say I'm very sorry for what you're going through.

I think in the long run, you'll be glad you busted her a second time. It made your decision much easier.

MG,

I have been thinking about your sitch all night. Kind of hard to get it out of MY head, I can't imagine what is going through yours.

The first A with rah-rah boy, he took the pictures and passed them around, they took movies and watched them together afterward. As your story went on, her humiliation and the degrading of her self worth kept getting worse and worse as all of this was revealed to you. Something must have snapped inside her. God knows what, but something was broken, as many here have commented.

She lost what she had as her identity, her self worth in your eyes and her eyes, and it will never come back.

If I remember right, during the lie detector test one of the questions asked was if there was any previous affairs or sexual encounters before rah-rah boy and her answer was no, and the machine confirmed this was the truth.

There seems to be some kind of marriage death wish going on. Why NOT wash the sheets? Why not pick up her underwear?

Sidebar:
Pepperband's question was relevant and she did not need any slap down comments. I have been here a while and I have NEVER SEEN PEP COME EVEN CLOSE TO BEING HEARTLESS!

MG, I hope you are coping, and taking care of business. Your WW is damaged goods, and needs much help...but I think you have done more than your share. You need to breath some fresh clean air and be happy with your kids.

IMHO

kirk

Is it possible your wife could be bipolar? Could she be acting out sexually??? It's not an excuse for her actions but how could she be so blantant and not worrying about being caught- not to even change the sheets? Letting Rah Rah boy take pictures of her, etc?

In my quiet moments...In my dreams...you and I are on the same page...Okay...Not quite...my dream has me holding an AK47 with "Clint Eastwood" bullets (i.e no matter how long you squeeze the trigger - they never stop).

BTW if you look WAAAAAY back on my thread, you will realize I am a dream warrior.

That was a lot of hard work BTW.

Moot point. That is not MG's problem.

Okay I have reread this post several times and I am asking for advice.

Is it "Not everything I say are pearls of wisdom"

or "Not everything I say is a pearl of wisdom".

Opinions please.

[And thanks to the Frenchy for the clear headed thinking.]

Thank GOD Justuss was asleep!

As the mother of his children who will have continued contact with her (or possibly live with her) the point is certainly not moot.

'Not everything (every thing, i.e., singular) IS a pearl...'

'Not all things I say are pearls...'

Good point. But that is for a professional to decide. That should not influence MG's decision for his life's direction.

I fight this battle nightly with homework with the DDs.

Thanks for the support.

I fear for the American (okay - english) language.

My worst nightmare is that someday we will all have to speak FRENCH!!!

Good thing I speak Spanish. They're taking over the USA anyway.

The best advice yet.

God bless you, mgolfer.

Well said.

So where is mr golfer? Haven't heard much from him since his initial posts.

Wow, what a bad surprise.

Your WW seems to be in a huge midlife crisis. She's very into fitness and looks and has chosen similar people (RRBoy, gym dude) for affair partners. Not dealing well with aging, I'd say.

I agree with (Mark?) who said figure out what you want, make a plan, and follow through.

And don't feel stupid. You did everything spectacularly. Your wife is broken.

This is what makes me sympathetic to MG's WW. Something is seriosuly wrong. It isn't MG's fault and it isn't anything he can fix.

But there are kids.

MG seems like a very responsible guy. He MAY feel WW is his responsibility to fix. He is sympathetic to her too and way more than me.

That is a path he cannot follow.

MG I offer nothing more than my sympathy. The way you handled this last time was "what I believed" as close to perfect as one could expect.

Now's the time to protect yourself and children.

-JKT

Never said it should. However it is an illness that does cause people to take extreme risks sexually and that is exactly what she has done.

In my eyes your (MGs) WW is a slinky. I was on another thread and read JustKeepTrying's signature. I thought of your WW instantly. It is beyond words what she has done!

I am sure he has a ton of preparation to do b4 her return. Closing account accesses, credit cards, Packing her things, DNA and Semen testing of the sheets.

After rereading mgolfer's thread from his wifes first infidelity, it is evident to me that she has had several ONS on her scouting journeys. She was out of town 30% of the time. She ended up getting caught because the last one was to close to home. You don't have a job like that and then become so cavalier as to leave so many trails. This showed a person who was use to having sex with OMs just not on ongoing basis. Thats where she slipped up. Her previous interludes were probably common when she was out of town. Then she broke her regular MO and started an affair. The lifestyle has become to ingrained in her to just stop. That is why she had this next affair so quickly after the last one. And the way she didn't even try to cover her tracks, like the bed linen shows one thing. SHE IS USE TO HAVING HOTEL STAFF TAKE CARE OF THE LINENS. She simply never had to do them before. After having sex with various OMs she would simply get up in the morning, get ready for work or to leave, and the maids would take care of the bedding. Now that she doesn't travel she simply never thought to wash the bedding because she never had to before. I think she has been doing this as long as she has had the ability to do it. Sorry mgolfer, but it just make sense.

What????

She pass a lie detector test about previous affairs!!

Something just doesn't add up here. To assume WW is and always has been a serial cheater is tantamount to saying mgolfer is the most gullible buffoon on the planet and I don't believe that. I think mgolfer is too smart to not have picked up on that earlier.

But regardless of whether she is or not, the consequences remain the same. She is too far broken for mgolfer to fix even if he had the desire.

Edit by Dufresne = the French Correction.


Great movie BTW.

Do lie detectors always work?

No. That's why the results aren't admissable in court.

Most people can't get around them without training though.

Do you think she is having an affair? Or could it be more then one guy?

The thing for me is you think WW has an A with RRB and is head-over-heels in love. This breaks off. WW is heartbroken. It is just hard to imagine her finding love again so soon.

The only reasonable answer is that, for WW, it was never about love at all.

RRB?

Rah Rah Boy- he was a cheerleader

That is not true.....


As for this......


All the training in the world is NOT going to help you "pass" a polygraph, unless you're a sociopath which is a small % of the population. All those websites that tell you "How to pass a Polygraph" is bull....



If MG's wife passed the polygraph in regards to other affairs, he can probably trust that Rah-Rah was the first.

I wonder how mgolfer is doing. And if mrs. Mgolfer came home? You would have to have major self control not to drive up and find her. I know I would. But self control was never my strong suit. Thank goodness for my wife.

This is what I just don't understand about many waywards. What is wrong with them that they feel they have the right to keep their BS on the hook, while they cheat. Mgolfer's wife exhibits many of the traits that my now ex-wife did. She apparently had no intention of leaving the marriage. She just wanted to screw other guys on the side.

My wife was trying to convince me that we should adopt a child, while she was sleeping with her coworker overseas in Kuwait. It simply blows my mind that she thought she had the right to keep me like a pet, while she pursued her own goals. That level of entitlement is simply alien and unforgivable to me.

I guess it just goes to prove that people cheat in good marriages as well as bad marriages, although my marriage wouldn't have been classified as good since my wife was intensely dishonest.

You out there mg?

Dollars to doughnuts this woman has a cluster B personality disorder. Could be a sociopath abd that would help her pass the poly. More likely HPD, BPD or NPD(or a combo platter).
Mn, start researching these disorders.

Bump

Bumping to see if MG feels like talking.

Bump for mg....

Y'all were in my thoughts today.

Don't know if mgolfer is still around, but here's another theory: This sounds like big-time revenge on the part of this WW. She cries and begs and makes it sound like she's so so sorry, but all the while she's getting even for the exposure by bringing men into her husband's own home and leaving poorly hidden evidence for him to find.

It could be that this WW deserves an Academy Award for her acting skills.
Mulan

Could be. After the inital shock wore off, WW could have been bent out of shape...her family and friends know, the public humiliation, her career ended up in the toilet. If only mg had kept his mouth shut her life would have been just swell.

Or she could be looking for yet another dumb way to exit the M. Perhaps she thought mg would have kicked her to the curb and when he didn't she comes back for round 2. Either sounds right up there with wayward insane logic. :crosseyedcrazy:

If she knows that he went on MB before. He may not want to give her any heads up on what he is planning. In regards to what is going on in her mind. I think that she now has virtually no moral fiber left. She has basically traded her marriage and family to go and chase a climax. This other guy is a physical trainer, I understand. The sex is probably fantastic, but she has the ability to forsee the consequence or her actions equal to that of a sea slug....

Bump

Bump

Of course you are.

Your wife is who she is. She will not change. Yet more proof none ever do.

I caught my wife several different times over many years.

I suggest you do not keep her. It is not worth it. Not even close.


However, allow me to muddy the H20 a bit.

I have over the past few years talked to several (close to 20) WS I used to know irl who did this same thing, and I have also seen this admitted to by a large number of WS here on MB – some WS get over one affair by quickly having another.

Not that this makes a squiggie of difference to you or her or your marriage. But it is informative to know it is a yet another stupid coping mechanism for withdrawal used by a great number of very selfish and entitled people.

Still no hope for her, of course. But it may be the reason for this new adultery. And it may not be, probably is not, the only recent adultery.

How is that pronounced?

Just curious.

bump...

Hope your doing ok mgolfer

Bump

Dude, We are all thinking about ya.

I read this thread and want to tell the incredible guy who's walked thru fire for his family this..

YOU are a MB success! Your ww isn't. Praying for you and the kids btw. Just because you may divorce, don't think otherwise!

I'm an MB oldtimer and consider myself a MB success..and my m ended in divorce 5 years ago. Today things couldn't be better and I have a fantastic close relationship with my son, always have. My child knows that his mommy , JUST LIKE YOU ARE DOING WITH YOUR KIDS, walked thru fire for him.

Blessings and peace your way my friend. Don't fear the good fight. You're the success here. A true WS cannot see the reality..not like they're living as she is. One day she'll be like my x was..see an attractive, kind, FIREPROOF kind of person who's the parent to their children, and a truth lover. They'll want to go into their old home, but they can't. For they are a stranger now. One day, their BS will find somebody who will love them so much more. And the WS will forever have to live with their actions if they put their pride ahead of doing the right thing.

Stand up and do the right thing! Thank you for standing up for your kids. YOU ARE A SUCCESS!

bump...

Ahem....just wondering if it has faintly crossed anyone else's mind, ever so briefly, that..well.. what if MG made this whole scenario up and was playing us all??

Maybe .02% of my brain might think this sometimes late at night while trying to go to sleep. MG's whole story was sooooo extreme, enticing, juicy, terrible, un-imaginable and yet so heartwarming and satisfying to all of us MBers because it all seemed to end well.

Until, of course, the wicked WW was doing the health club dude in the basement and not cleaning up after herself....HMmmmm...

Anyway, maybe this is my way of getting MG to respond and let us know how goes it.....unless he has run out of ideas

And I am sure he has much more important things on his mind rather than getting back to us on his sitch. But it seems unless he totally flipped and/or is now in prison w/out access to the internet, he would stop by just to vent.

He sure did before.

BUT WHAT THE HECK DO I KNOW?? :crosseyedcrazy: :MrEEk: :crosseyedcrazy: :crosseyedcrazy:

kirk

***edit***

bump

bump again ... MG .. are u there.
or anyone could tell me how MG is right now.

Unfortunately, I believe MGolfer was a troll.

As in...NOT A REAL STORY.

This board has been under continual assault for several years now. Evil persons like to attack these boards since MB is the most successful marital infidelity recovery forum on the web.

Interesting that YOU should bump it. mmmmmmmmm

Mr. W