So I started a list for WH. At the risk of being criticized I am going to post it here so you can give me advice...
XXX,
This is the beginning of a list of what I would like you to accomplish before I consider whether I will let you come back home. I am completely serious about each and every item. DO NOT ask me if you can alter what I've asked. DO NOT forget a piece. DO NOT ignore any item. DO NOT ask me how to do something. You figure it out.
1. Quit job
2. Move stuff out of your office before XXX (OW) returns from Mexico
3. Take vacation until the 23rd when you begin new job.
4. Only be at the office the MINIMUM neccesary on the 23rd for last day.
5. Cancel ALL email accounts
6. Change your cell #
7. Read the book "Surviving an Affair" by Dr. Harvey
8. Complete all the activities in the book
9. Prepare all the agreements he suggests.
10. Sign the agreements when you truely believe you are ready and can fulfill them
11. Write a personal statement
Include where you see us in 1, 5, 10, 20, 30 years...as a family, as a couple,financially, etc...
12. Make a list of how you intend to make sure this never happens again
13. Describe how you intend on changing
14. Describe how you are going to handle it when I regress, when I am having a bad day, when I am feeling hurt and angry and it has been 6 months...
15. Send an email to XXX (bosses and OW/WH friends at the
office(do not leave anyone out) stating what happened and with whom. It does not have to be long and detailed. I WILL NEED TO APPROVE FIRST
16.Tell me immediately when she contacts you and give me any communication
17. Apologize to my family in person for what they have gone through and seen (They came to our rescue when we were losing control physically and verbally
)
18. Write a letter or email to OWH. I NEED TO APPROVE FIRST