Chidiot Catchphrases

I've got too much spare time on my hands. I thought I'd make a blog detailing all the crap waywards spew.

Feel free to contribute. This is all I can really give, as I'm not married nor have I gone through an infidelity one way or another.

So...enjoy. My hope is to condense all wayward phrases in an attempt to give you all:

1. A place to go to laugh at wayward crap
2. A list of what is said for new people so they know all waywards say this junk.

Feel free to post here too, if you like. Preferably with things you were personally told.

P.S. Chidiots = cheating idiots.

Also, I've gone back to check out the previous boards on waywardism, and I would like to seek permission to use some of the phrases BS's were told by their WS's before I actually DO post them.

Wouldn't want to post something from someone and then have to take it right back down after all.

Hope you enjoy the three that are already up there right now.

"Me leaving and/or the breakup of our M has NOTHING to do with OW"

"She/he is just a friend."

Offhand these are just two of the beauts that I heard.

Oh and you have my permission, if you need it.

What do you want me to put as your name in the entries? "Still"?

And thanks. I like to have permission, so no one gets mad.

Yeah, Still is perfectly fine, karma. This is a great idea.

I thought I could do SOMETHING to help you all, and keep all the stupid wayward fog-talk in one place.

For easy reference.

Love it, karma...

You have my permission and you can call me whatever you like. Tehehehe

I dunno if I posted this one on one of the threads before but here goes. Right after ILYBNILWY speech, we were talking about our feelings. I asked, "Have you ever had an interest in another woman sexually." WH replied, "Yes, but not until recently and that scared me. Don't think I want to stay together and have sex with other women though." My response, "Oh don't worry, I'm NOT okay with THAT." Wayturds. Keep in mind I didn't KNOW that he was alrady sleeping with POSOW. DUHHHHHH

Posted yours. I had to mod a few things to make it appropriate but I hope otherwise it fits for you.

Looks GREAT

I just hope to do a good job of it...

OMG! LOVE IT!!! Keep it up!

Hrm, lets see what I got. How about "I only married you for security", "You're the one who wanted a child, not me," (and mind you, I remember having tons of discussions about kids, adoption, etc...), "I can never be happy with you," "OP is so easy to talk to, not like you."

That should keep ya busy!

*Feel free to credit to AnnaBelle, no worries.

Posted one of yours, but I have to be going (work), I'll put some more up later.

"I don't lie all of the time"
"I only married you so I wouldn't be a burden on my family anymore"
"I was too young, I didn't know what love was"
"The OMW has mental problems and is psycho and will probably kill our children if she finds out about the affair"
"You shouldn't have to work on being in love, it should just be there"

Ohh, I got a similar version of that one too!

Annabelle...I also got the "youre the only one who wanted a child" one too, thats a good one. The funny thing is we tried for two years before I finally got pregnant. Ahhh, I think during that time he coulda told me he didnt want a child..stupid, stupid, stupid.



I also got..."You tricked me into marrying you.".....Uhhhh, we went out for six years before we got married, how did I trick you. He asked me to marry him, not the other way around.

Oh, and you gotta put the "Shes a good person." OW that is....I got that one...

Oh, I've got one more... "I got back in contact with OW (after dumping her) to see where things are going, as friends or more)." That was after a week of reconciliation...

Stupid waywards.

Totally agree, Still...

"He's just like you, you would like him"

(insert crazy emoticon here)

"It was only for the sex, and the sex wasn't that good anyway. I don't know why I kept going back, it got boring really fast with her."

"I didn't plan for you to 'ever' find out." When I pointed out that this plan obviously failed, he said, "That wasn't in the plans, either. I didn't plan that far." (What happened to the plan for "EVER"????)

"Having sex with someone else doesn't mean I don't love you."

What it really means is that you don't RESPECT me. Or our relationship.

"OW and I are so much alike. It is like we are family." Do you commit ADULTERY with members of your family? POSOW even jokingly called him her "retarded cousin." Hmmmmmmm

"She's not my type so I can't be having an affair with her." Hmmmm me thinks you're a LIAR.

Now what about AP comments to BS? I got, "I haven't slept with anyone in 2 years" as PROOF that she wasn't sleeping with my WH. Of course she also said that he wasn't her "type." And she BRAGGED that she hadn't dated anyone for more than 2 years. Her FB states that she would NEVER get married because she couldn't stand being around anyone that long. Oh wayturds and their POSAP.

Here ya go sweet pea......

"You don't love me......if you REALLY loved me then you would want me happy, and she makes me happy...."

"you only wanted me when somebody else had me....."

And my all-time favorite......

"I'm glad you found those emails because they gave me the balls to do what I should have years ago and LEAVE your sorry a$$......".......(this one got my new floors installed and a new couch the next day......guilt CAN be rewarding...... )

I'm know I have more Karma honey, but I can't remember.....oh and you can sign me not2fun....

Ohhhhh.....I remembered another.....and I SWEAR this has come out nearly EVERY WS foggy lips......

"You ruined all of my chances at happiness!!!!!.....you must really not love me if you don't want to see me happy......."......

month after his first and only child was born
"she (OW) is my own happiness"--oops guess he forgot about the newborn

"it's me not you"

"i can really talk to her and she understands me"

"i only stayed with you because i felt sorry for you"

Last but not least.... when asked why he would do this after three miscarriages and finally we had a child (which he couldn't wait to be a dad) "I came to terms with the fact that i would be a part-time parents... i didn't want to get to atached at first knowing i wouldn't be there everyday from the begining" (vomit)

"There is no one else, I just need some space to think about things" (and he moved out two days later).

"I just can't be who I really am in this marriage"

"I've always felt my life would be short and I want to live it to the fullest while I can"

I don't love you and I haven't for...(insert the amount of time here). With my WH the length of time always varied. First he said the past year, then it was the past two years, then it went to the past 6-7 years (which is our whole marriage!).

"Marriage Counseling would never work because too much has happened and you would never trust me again" (while still denyin A!).

Sidney, I actually got "I don't think I ever loved you." Bwaaa?!?! Really? Then what the heck have you been telling me these last 7 1/2 years?!? But of course he loved me during reconciliation! ugh, waywards...

I got that one too! Right....because having an affair with a married man really demonstrates quality of character.....

Here are some good ones:
"I only married you because of the momentum leading up to the wedding."
"You're ruining [OW's] life!" (by talking to her husband....)
"She loves me like I want to be loved." (yes - which is why she was honourable enough to leave her husband first and wait till you left your wife -NOT!)

And my all time favourite:
"I love you, but it's more like I would love a sister." (and all the while my pregnant belly stands out between us....)

I've got quite a spike in views! You guys are great. I'm back from work now and after a quick change of clothes I'll be updating.

Oh wait no, THIS is my favourite:

"I'm glad this A happened because otherwise we would never be talking like we are now, I just would have left. Just looking for the silver lining here."

What crap waywards spew!

"She makes me feel ALIVE"
"I will always care for her"
"Her husband is abusive" (wow, it was a lie)

disgusted, what do you want your name put as on it?

NewPetals, I got the "I love you like a sister, too"....karma make sure you put that one, yeah, yeah......I really want to email this to my wh hoping to show him how run of the mill and stupid his affair is....not so wonderful and unique. But I know that is an LB.

Make a new email and send it to him? He'll think it's junk mail.

Got this too, with the ever changing amount of time, everytime he said it....until it ended up that he never loved me.

I really think im gonna, karma....

I'm going to need some more WW fogtalk; there's precious little of it in a sea of all this WH fogtalk. So, guys?

I'm typing as fast as I can to write new entries though!

And the title of it is so funny, karm. Chidiots.

I wanted something memorable. Thanks.

(-eyetwitch- This was the 42nd post...this number really IS following me! )

"Me and you have nothing in common"....Ummm, yeah..WE HAVE A CHILD TOGETHER!!!! And the reason you might feel we have nothing in common is because YOU HAVE BEEN SPENDING ALL YOUR FREE TIME WITH OW, instead of your WIFE!!


Okay I made the post 43rd...Ill try to stop buggin' ya now.

I have another version of #6- "The other woman is so much easier to talk to than you are"

Translation: I could spend my time talking to you, my wife, but that means I can't talk to OW, who has SO much more in common than us... although we have a ton in common... oh wait.

Rewrite this however you see fit. You get the point. Mine has nothing to do with being nasty, though that is definitely one possibility.

Also, I can't lay claim to #8, unless that's a major rewrite of one of mine...

I thought the one i got that from was you, guess not. Sorry, I'll fix it.

It's okay, still.

nope, I got no silver lining here... hence why I'm sitting on the floor of my little apartment...

you're awesome for doing this BTW... I can't wait to see more when I get up tomorrow....

I hope I pretty well with that one, ABR?

Me, awesome?

huh?

Number six. I was wondering if I did it well enough? And your "Six, part two" is up.

You all can probably tell, by the way, that I'm editing these for content. Is that okay?

Okay I cant stop bugging you...sorry...

"In my mind the marriage was already over"...Okay, thanks for informing me about that...

"Marriage is a sham"....Then why did you get married "Well I didnt know it then."

"I didnt abandon you, I am right here if you need me, as a friend."...a friend that lied, cheated, and abandoned me!!!I am your wife.

"I wish we could be friends."...Yeah, cuz then he wouldnt have to feel guilty about what he did.

Uhhhh, yeah!!!

Here's another "great" one:

"i can still see us taking family vacations together. I wouldn't feel right taking the kids to Disneyland with anyone but u.".

But.... you feel right sleeping with someone else instead of your wife? Like heck we'd be taking family vacays together while you're living with OW!!!!

PS. I got the time shifting "I haven't loved you in (x) number of years" too. Currently it's that he regrets ever dating me at all. Started out just since november. They really know how to justify!

Yes, waywards love to have their cake and eat it too...Lets pretend we are a family, but I can still have OW on the side....My WH wanted everything to stay the same as before I found out about A....family gatherings, family vacations..Stupid, selfish waywards

He told me, "You've done nothing but criticize and tear me down for years now."

Me: "What? What do you mean? Give me an example. Tell me about one time I've criticized and torn you down."

Him: Well ... uh .... uh ..... I can't thnink of anything right now but it's true and you just have to accept it. Why can't you accept that you haven't liked me for years?

I have posetd this one before.

I am laughing, but it still hurts.

Re; lie detector about EA/possible PA- (after reading about OH and POJA);
"I am telling you a TRUTH...I will not take the lie detector test."

Here are some gems from my WW:

"we never really connected"
"I don't think I ever really loved you"
"OM makes me happy and feel good about myself"
"you make something that is so beautiful sound so ugly"

Here are some more:

"You never act happy to see me when I come home" (Which led me to believe OW must jump up and down and cheer wildly when she sees him in comparison to the neglectful "Hi!" he got from me each day)

"I was not hiding anything, I was protecting" (in reference to why he destroyed our home computer, changed all passwords and took all phone bills and bank statements before he left). Semantics.

Karma, honey, you are too priceless for words.......

I've got some good ones:

"I need to end it on my own terms!" - translation=never

"It felt dirty and disgusting." - describing SF with her own husband.

"I need to find myself." - so you look in the arms of another man?

WW fogtalk:

"I think he (the OM) is gay...becaused he said something in a mannerism way..I'm sure he is gay...yeap"

That was during my interrogation (CIA style)

hahahh wow dgtal! Never heard that one uttered before! That's pretty slick. Made my day....and it goes to show you the lies Wayturds will tell!

Oh boy, I leave for work today and you all drown me. Don't worry, though, I'm writing as fast as I can...

That website is pretty cool, KR!

I'll have to come up with something original that we can attribute to Skatt.

We all know I probably won't have to dig too deep......

TB

I thought that since I'm not married and can't give much advice, I'd do something to at least amuse you all.

It's nice to see that I'm succeeding. I started this as a side-project, but wow, such reception means I have to crank up what I send out. I thought I'd only get enough for one a day, but you all surprised me. But! That is a good thing!

Karma,

I absolutely LOVE what you're doing... don't feel pressured, I think whatever you can get out is great... I know I appreciate a little fun at the sitch. :-) Keep up the great work!

I intend to.

Karma, Loving the blog!

It is humorous that these lines are used again and again. One that seems to get thrown around A LOT - especially by WW is

"I Need Closure"

i.e. I need departure sex

I know I've heard it around tons, though I haven't had it told to me, personally.

"I need closure"...ah, I know I've heard that one, not in my life or here but many places.

Closure = talking about how to take it further underground

Oh, and if you haven't noticed, I'm being creative with the numbers now. 20s, I think I'll use Japanese...

"I think you would really like OW if you got to know her...if you did then me, OW, you and the kids could spend some time together on Christmas day"

I've just recently got to the point where I can laugh at this one.

This was about a year ago and FWH was so deep in fantasy land at the time.

Boy those were the days...now I'm back to being the best thing since sliced bread.

WHAAAAA?!?!?! REALLY?!?!?!?!?



Somehow, that just tops most that I've seen.... Gods, to even think about that one....

I have to say that I have heard my fair share of wayward drivel -- either from Skatt or from others on this forum -- but I think this one really ranks up there.

Truly impressive. Kudos to you for being able to laugh at it now.

TB

After my WW found out that I had exposed to OM's family, she told me this:

"you ruined the only thing that has made me happy in last 12 years."

Hi karmarose,

Just thought I would add a couple of my own.
"I don't accept that my adultery is the only factor in the breakdown of our marriage" (I am now filing for divorce after trying to save the marriage for 7 months.)

"It seems like you want to be friends with everyone except me" (When he found out that I was going to NY to visit his aunt after she had invited me. My response: "They haven't lied to my face, cheated on me or betrayed me"

I'm checking the blog out now, it's looking good.

Thanks

TM

On D-Day my WH, after telling me I hadn't loved him for a long time, said "Don't try to take the OW away from me too. I deserve this. I deserve to be happy and if you try to break us up you will, again, be taking love away from me."

Ai yi yi.

The sad thing is I fell for this one...then after sex he said "Yup its over, I feel nothing for you anymore."...still makes me cry when I think about it... Talk about being cruel.

ok my WxH said the SAME thing.... told me i took his "happiness away".... i swear he is female somewhere in there...

Yeah, mine said "you ruined the best thing that ever happened to me." (loving wife? no, beautiful, wonderful, adorable son? no, OW in adulterous affair? YES)... same idea so thats a good one.

When I told her I felt the only things she saw me as was an ATM.

Venom, screaming, and fury on her face... all in counseling. "You can take your money and shove it up your A$$."

Then a couple minutes later "I am a kind and gentle person."

Then two days later she empties MY bank account,goes through my house like a shopping spree, and finally after asking her what is going on, she emails me saying she wants a divorce and not to contact her in any way other than through lawyers. Haven't spoken with her since that counseling session.

Here is one of the ones I got:
"I really need to go and talk to OW, she is what is standing between you and I working things out and I put her there".

Along with many of the standard lines including:
Not sure if I ever really loved you.
We just need to talk.
I have never felt this way before. (Then I read some of the emails to OW and found they said the exact same things he wrote to me while dating)
And yes, I even got:
I need some closure.

Stupid Waywards

after talking with my friend this morning, I remember one more.

Said in a kinda childish kinda way, "I only wanted a friend. You never let me have any friends." (bwaaa? Ok, fine, I liked being my H's closest friend, his best friend.... uh duh! I never ever said specifically you may not have any other friends but me!)


I told WH, that's great, I'd LOVE for you to have friends, but that is NOT a friendship! That is WAYYYY more, and it's wrong! ... needless to say he didn't like being told that one....

Not mine but passed down from friends:

"You would really like her if you got to know her...she's a lot like you."

Oooooo where's Scotland, I seem to remember her DH had a doozie. Something along the lines of

"I feel bad for her since she is a single mother"

As he proceeds to abandon her and their kids... leaving her a .... you guessed it: Single mother!

Well, he didn't exactly say that was WHY he was leaving, but yea he did feel bad for her since she was a single mother. I was the one who said, "Now you are making ME a single mother. Isn't that funny?"

Don't know if that counts though.

I had MANY doozies. I just forget all of them now that I am in Plan B. Kinda like giving birth, it all comes rushing back again when something triggers it. It's funny how the mind protects itself.

I believe Rid had a pretty good one where after exposure her WH asked her to tell OW that she lied and that he wasn't really married anymore. I hope Rid comes on here soon.

Did some modifying of the page to make it a little easier on my eyes. If you think it'd look better some other way feel free to say so.

karma rose...what page? what did I miss?

My blog? It's linked in the first post. "Chidiot Catchphrases" .

- Talking about his purpose in wanting us to go to a counselor, "I want him to help you see that we can have a good divorce."
(I guess he couldn't figure out that we could have a good marriage...i dunno)

- In one of our discussions between the time he filed and the time he moved out: "I've never loved you and didn't want to get married but I didn't know how to get out of it."
(excuse me.....we dated and were engaged for over 3 years before we got married. I guess he couldn't say 'no' when they asked'Do you promise to love, honor, and protect her and keep yourself unto her so long as you both shall live'. Didn't he realize it was easier to say, 'I'm not sure I want to do this' prior to showing up at the church. Yeah, I would have been upset but I wouldn't have ended up with kids in therapy because he was a selfish idiot)

- After I confronted him about the EA his secretary told me the grapevine had been discussing: "Yes, she is single and she has two small children and she doesn't have anyone to help her. I know her life is hard and I want to be there to help her."

- After I responded to that by saying, Doesn't it bother you that you are doing the same thing to your small children and to me? AND, you have a committment to us. You don't have one to her?"....His response was, "Yes, it does. But G & N will be ok. I still want to be a good father. I'm not happy and this may not work out but I'm afraid not to take this chance at happiness."
(I will let his stoopit idjit words speak for themselves)

- After he talked to the minister where we went to church, "He said that this was not the best solution but I don't care. I'm going to do it anyway. I'm not happy. I haven't been happy in a long time and God wants me to be happy. I have this chance for happiness and I'm going to take it. What Steve said makes no difference. God wants me to be happy."
(well, buster, there are other things you could do that would make you happier....like work on your marriage and your relationship with God)

- When telling me what his moving out plans were, "I know you don't want this but it's going to happen. My apartment will be ready on July 26th. I know that's your birthday and I don't want to ruin it for you so I'll wait until the 29th and move out then."
(Like I really mattered, huh? Like you doing this to your family wasn't gonna ruin my birthday? Like I would be happy spending my birthday with you? EXCUSE ME.....I told him that I wanted him out before my birthday. I didn't care if he went to a motel, his parents' house, or to the Salvation Army. Just get out before my birthday.) He didn't. I got up after he left. I got the children out of the house before he came home.

- When he called my mom's house ON my birthday evening-3 days before he was moving out, "I bought some ice cream at Baskin Robbins. I thought we could eat it together and have a little party or something."
(Yeah, I'd have liked a little something....like my husband back....or his gonads hanging from the rear view mirror of my car.)

- When talking about why we had been having so little sex for so long, "Yes, I am interested in someone else. Haven't you ever wondered why I didn't want to have sex and why I was spending so long in the shower?"
(when I told the counselor about that exchange, he said I probably was a good candidate to go to S-Anon. Oh, yeah, I tell people I went to the co-addict group similar for Al-Anon and it was for people whose family members had sexual addiction issues. I just let them wonder what his issue was.....and, if they are so brazen as to ask, I tell them. My x liked to spank the monkey while fantacizing about other women while he was in the shower. He had more fun playing with himself than he did having sex with a wife who loved him and really enjoyed having sex. I will say that since then, I have had 2 'relationships' - one was with a man who really knew how to operate a woman's body but was a selfish lover. And one with a man who truly wants to please me. It's a nice change. My x and I collected rabbit dust catchers but I have earned the nickname Energizer Bunny. TMI, I know but I am nothing if I am not honest. Enjoy that tidbit because I'll take it out after a while.)

- After he had moved out, he said to me, "You are the one refusing to make the best of a bad situation. I want this to be good for all of us."
(uh....hmmm....like, why was I the only one fighting FOR our marriage. what about this was gonna be good for our children who were 4 and 2 at the time?)

- When he decided I wasn't gonna quit fighting - almost 9 months after he moved out, my attorney called me and said he had gotten an Order of Reconciliation from my h's attorney. He wanted to know when I wanted to come sign it. I said, "Say that again." He repeated it. I told him I had no idea what he was talking about. He asked if we had discussed it and I said I had no idea WHAT he was talking about. I then asked if h had signed it....he said the attorney had signed it. I replied, "Hell, no! I won't sign it....send it back. He has to sign it first. If he signs it first, I'll sign it." Attorney did, x signed it, I signed it, we had a couple of counseling sessions more and nothing ever changed. I existed in that limbo for over about 18 months before ending up needing and EKG due to stress. That was when I decided to file....on his birthday....because I couldn't think of any birthday present he'd rather have. To save money, I had a neutral party serve the papers, when they couldn't find him at work or at home, they gave me the papers and I took them to the counselor who served them to him at his next appointment.

Oops only read last couple of pages.

You may refer to me as Cinderella or JET....so few people have my first name, I'm really tempted to let you use that.

Wow, cinders, thanks for all that!

It's Cinders or Rella....Please.....and, you can use either of those names, too. I don't care but I don't care for cindy. If you don't mind. Please.

Now you see why I am a happy divorced woman....

better no boots under your bed than the wrong boots under your bed.

By the way, one of his one-sided EA interests was my sister who had told him to take a hike...after all he was married...to her sister.

I put one of yours up, cinders (decided to go with JET, I thought that makes you sound cool ), hope you like it. Working on getting more up.

I think it is a totally awesome moniker.

I thought it would just be good because it was memorable, but awesome too? Oh, you guys...

On the day FWH moved out of our home and my Plan B was about to begin...

"You have OW to thank for me moving out, I didn't want to but she made me see it was the right thing to do."

OW was such a lovely thoughtful person, she always had my best interest at heart...NOT!!

Okay, I just got a text from WH.....this isnt the one but it made me think to start looking at his old text....I am sure I will find a few...

heres one...."I wish WE didnt fail him(DS)...We can make it as best as we can for him, but you refuse to act like an adult"

This was his response to me refusing to PRETEND we were a family while he was seeing OW. I apparantly wasnt acting like an ADULT...you know like he did by cheating, lying, sneaking around and leaving his family.

Oh and the unapologetic apologies are my favorite....

"I am sorry for the way things happened"

Yeah, because "the way things happened" did this to our family not YOU

Here is another apology....

"I am sorry about the things that happened that MADE things the way they are now."

HuH?!!!!! Oh, you mean you are sorry that you cheated and left your family for another woman? Why dont you just say that then?

Heres one that will definitly give me away if WH reads this but its pretty funny....

"I went to a psychic and she said our family was cursed by the evil eye, so there is no hope for this family. This is just the way its supposed to be for us."


WHHHAAAAT?! Okay this jerk talked to everyone but me about OUR marriage...

A psychic? Now that's classic!

Today my WH texted me wondering when I was going to get a part time job because he needs a car...(which he wouldnt need if not for the A.) He said "give me a break will you I am paying for everything...My condo, my electric, my heat, now I need a car and I am paying for all your stuff too."

Yeah, Ill give him a break, like he gave me and DS one. I told him.....divorce me and I will get a part time job. I dont want a divorce but I know that you do. So do it. I guess he didnt anticipate how expensive it is to live two lives. His decision, not mine.

You could have knocked me over with a feather when he said that to me, really.

Yeah, my wife went to a psychic, too. She tape recorded the reading which was just a bunch of jibberish. The psychic started out by talking about how chaotic moving can be (we weren't planning on moving) then went on and on about strawberry ice cream.
From this, my wife deduced that the psychic was telling her to get a divorce.

All that for only 20 bucks.

Now I am starting to ramble Karma, but you dont hafta put this stuff down, I am just aggravated right now....

He just texted me back saying "Now I have to take money out of the 401k to pay for my car(the one he wouldnt need except for his "new life") because you refuse to get a part time job."


Okay I see it this way "You hafta take money out of the 401K to pay for your lying, selfish new life with your mistress (who has a full time job at a good company and lives at home with her mother) Have her pay for your car!!!!!!"

Okay, sorry, I am just a little ticked off right now....Thanks for listening guys. Even if no one is listening.

Omg, I think she topped my WH for idiocy!

Whew! $20 bucks to change your life, eh? How do I get this psychic all the way up here to Canuck Land to tell WH he's messing with fire, being with OW? (And then maybe something about buying me strawberry ice cream...I could live with that....)

I put up two new ones, and I'll be putting up more. You guys are...wow. My jaw is just STAYING dropped...

still, are you saying WH wants YOU to buy him a car????

Sorry, didn't mean to t/j, but OMG.

I would put up some of the dumb stuff I said, but I'm too horrified.

Of course, the translation of all these phrases are: I am a selfish idiot who cares more about what feels good between my legs than what IS right in front of my that I promised to protect.

Lurioosi, do you have any for me?

If it makes you uncomfortable that would be fine, you don't have to.

My goshh, are you married to my H? My WH said the same same same things...incredible!

I read statistics that say that in the States 50% of marriages end in D.
So, since I truly believe that if a M ends in D 99% of the time this is due to an A, I have to live with the fact that, when I meet any 2 people, one of them is either
--already D and has therefore used one or even more of the wonderful and uplifting phrases we posted on this thread
--will at one point have an A and use one of these wonderful sentences on the poor BS
--is currently in an A and has already told a few of these wonderful sentences to his-her BS

Wow, could this be true. If the statistics are correct it must be...
scary
blessing

to BH: I had to talk to the OM again because I need him to forgive me.

(after I had come in from seeing the OM and saying I was shopping and getting a haircut) I am the one who takes care of these kids 99 percent of the time, and you're complaining because I took too long to get a haricut? Unbelievable! (I used the reverse guilt thing a lot)

This one is the one that makes me sick - from when EA went PA - to the OM: I want you to know I didn't do this just to get back at my H. I wanted to be with you.

Both odious and vomitous

The XWH of a friend of mine told her that he only had 8 years to be happy because all the men in his family died by age 60 (he left when he was 52 and M the OW).

Here's a new one I got from WH over the weekend:

"What if I'm meant to be with TWO people in my life? What if I'm meant to be with OW and she dies and I end up with you instead?" (OW might have breast cancer, going for tests this week)

Wow. Way to boost my self esteem... "I'm only with you because my soooouuulmate died..."

And, a new favourite of mine:

"Haha, I need to have polygamous marriages!"

WARNING....T/J


Yes, in his own roundabout way, he wants me to buy him a car...

I have a lease car that he said he was gonna take and stick me with the old car....you know what, I dont care what I drive, I only use it for DS and grocery shopping....but I am not gonna take a car that he ran to the ground and now it breaks down all the time. We only had it to get him back and forth to work, which is in our town. It wasnt meant to drive an hour back and forth to see his mistress. I at least want a car that runs...

So I told him to go ahead and trade cars....and I can just walk DS to school or call the neighbors or MIL if my car breaks down...if he wants to use the lease car for his affair fun and leave DS and I with the crappy car, then go ahead. I guess that got to him because he never took the lease car...

OW says you love me but you are no longer in love with me

I'm tired of logic (me, BW) and just want emotion (OW)

I love you like a sister.

I love you like a wife. I love OW like an oversized baby I just want to take care of.

It feels like OW loves me more.

You versus OW - it's the difference between being wanted and not wanted.

omg that is a new one to me!!! Wow. How does he feel kissing this oversized baby?? *yuck* hahahahha!

More going up. Wow, at all the spewing...

"I'm sick of you and OW H interfering in my life! Stop talking to him!"

Uh....who is interfering in his life? Him and OW more than anyone.....

I loved OW before I had sex with her. I hate how the love was displayed.

I could do without the sex with OW. The emotional part is what is important.

OW adores me. She will do anything I ask her to do.

I wish there was a reset button. (but he won't actually reset his life by returning home to his family and leaving OW)

By the way, I added an email link, so if you have anyone you want to email a post to...

Teeheehee... youre baaddd...

About that oversized baby thing.......does he enjoy burping and diapering. Usually, its a really sad, unfortunate thing when someone of adult age has the developmental level of a baby. So, does that mean the sex might potentially be criminal due to their lack of cognition?

'Shiver me timbers!!!'

Oh, x and I had argument about the rightness of his choices, so, on his way to church the following sunday, he called and apologized, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to get mad." I have never understood why he would apologize to me for my being mad....maybe for his asinine choices and behavior but NOT for my being mad.

Oh, after he had multiple EAs - with people I knew or knew of - he said, 'I'm not sure I ever want to be in another relationship with any female other than my mother, my sister, and (name of or daughter)". I wasn't sure what that meant. counselor didn't know what that meant. my ic didn't know what that meant. we didn't know if he was gender-orientation confused or WHAT...so I went and got std tests done at that point.

I think it means he knew how much he screwed up and was reluctant to give himself ANOTHER chance to screw up? That's my guess anyway.

WH told my DS about his leaving his family for OW..."Its not a happy thing to do, but its not wrong. Everyone is doing it these days." You know what Im gonna say to that!

and

"Your mother and I got married young, its hard for people to stay together that long." Yeah, so anything that is hard is not worth doing? UGHHHH! Thanks for teaching my DS such good lessons.

He also told DS that the Bible was just a bunch of stories that someone made up. And that "God does not punish people who do bad things, who told you that, your mother." ...

DS said, no, I read the Bible...hahahah, that smart little cutie . This all just happened tonite...I guess WH is on the rampage, not only with me, but with DS.

keeping in mind PQ is bi-polar..

"I like her simple life style"
"if you ever tell her I'm still sleeping with you I will never forgive you"
"why cant we be friends"
"I havent been happy for years" (real original, that one)
"Her H is a w*nker" (my response "It took her 4 kids to figure that out?")
"Im just helping her with her computer problems"
"She is more than just a ****, she is my friend"
"I dont want to give up her friendship"
" I know you dont trust me" (no dah!)
"she is a good person"
" I only want $20,000 of our house sale money you can have the rest" (that lasted maybe 3 days before wanting much much more)
"If it wasnt for her, I would come back to you"
"She has dumped me. Just kidding"

Geeze, I could go on forever. The fact of the matter is that active waywards are CRAZY, and half of what they say is bull, and the other half is sh**. If their mouth is moving, they're lying.

Ohhh, I forgot that one!

From my WW: "He really is a good person, he told me I should try to work things out with you."

At least she listens to him about as well as she listens to me (not at all).

He said THAT TO YOU??? What a **** (fill in any 4 letter word)

Along the same lines from my WH: "OW felt horrible when she found out you were pregnant."

Now, I have so many thoughts on this: a) YEAH she felt horrible, she was thinking she was the only one my husband was sleeping with, and b) if she felt so horrible, why did she sleep with him in the first place and KEEP ON sleeping with him? What a bullcrap way to manipulate my husband.

Please note that one's religious belief is not correlated to one's devotion to his or her marriage. As proven over and over again on this board, religious devotion, great faith, and an otherwise perfectly Christian lifestyle don't stop affairs.

Extraordinary precautions and building an interdependent lifestyle following MarriageBuilders principles prevents affairs.

Although Dr. Harley is vocal about being Christian, and that he believes his program was inspired by his god, his works specifically avoid a Christian bias in order to serve those of us who don't adhere to his religion.

I was the one who left our shared church 8 years ago. My wife's words on D-Day stand out in my head still, and I am pretty certain they weren't just wayward fogbabble:

"I never thought I would be the one to ruin our perfectly good marriage."

Yep. In her mind, if our relationship ever had problems, it would be my fault.

The statement to my DS from WH angered me because he was always a religious man and we raised our DS Catholic....Now that WH is in the A suddenly he feels the need to tell WS that the Bible is a load of puckey....THat is basically what DS got out of it, this is what angered me.

I am not saying I was right or wrong, just mad....

Wow, I'm over 500 views with it now. Posting new ones now. Hopefully it'll help you all if you need a laugh...

Karma - I know this is more for what a WS says to a BS, but here are a few that I've heard from my WW mother and OM Step-father.

My Step-father (the OM) once went through great pains to explain to me, (I was ~6) that:

'Your father was always helping HIS mother (my grandmother), running around doing things for her, ignoring your mother.'

It was a lengthy diatribe that never made sense to me. I always thought he sounded like my little brother did when he got caught doing something he wasn't supposed to and tried to whine and lie his way out of trouble. My 6 year old brain thought this. A couple years later I learned the truth and his lecture made sense. He WAS a child caught doing something he wasn't supposed to, trying to make excuses to make it ok. Apparently, my father driving my grandmother around town to run errands is a valid excuse for adultery.

Gem no. 2. I wasn't there for this one but my DH (fianc�e at the time) was.

MOM, aka WW: 'It took a long time for me to forgive what BS did to me.'

And yet neither, I, nor my father has never heard a word of apology for what her affair did to us. She said this as part of a lengthy lesson on the importance of forgiveness. My DH said she made it sound as if he beat and abused her nightly and she, in her saintly way, worked to forgive him. He was prepared to meet a monster when he met my father. Yeah not so much- interestingly enough, she never much liked DH after he met and got along with my father.

Finally, this gem:

Before I got married she sat me down and said:

"V, I know you and your fianc�e get along great and have a lot of fun together. Just be careful. Your father and I had a lot of fun together and didn't have a strong foundation, thats why we didn't work out."

Apparently the marriage broke up because she and my father had too much fun together. It had nothing to do with her sleeping with another man.

WOW. That's just...

I'm amazed.

"I know I shouldn't be doing this but I'm just afraid not to take this chance at happiness".

All these years later, I'm still trying to wrap my head around that one and, "I'm not happy and God wants me to be happy so I'm going to do leave and see if this makes me happy."

Yeah, and your mom is probably still with OW right?
It is amazing how much these A end up lasting...I see a lot of that.
blessing

Stillhere, I understand your point and it is a good example of how much WS change their total way of looking at the world once in an A.
At the same time I want to jump on the wagon and agree with DoormatNM not in relation to your specific post but in general. People are certainly free to express religious believes, but this is not a religious site and there are people from many different faiths.
I agree and I would add that if you are hoping for God (any god) to punish then you are in the wrong track. God is love and total acceptance.
The punishement that a WS gets is brought to them by the WS himself not by God. The guilt, shame, anger and social pressure a WS has to go thru are what causes them pain and suffering either in the short run (look at Lady long legs H's and his heart problems only a few months after D day) or in the long run...and there are so many WS still together with their OP (Stillhere, Chai, etc..)who seem to do just fine, if not better, than when they were married.
If you are waiting for god to punish your WS, you will be waiting forever. God is love and free will.
Blessing

Yeah he really said that, and yes he was an **** - then. Now he's rather lovely. I was getting pretty cynical by that stage so all I said was "I'm not that lucky" to which he laughed.

I remembered another fogism, during the FR he said to me something like "I couldn't live with her, I would have to buy a house next door to her"
Freaking weirdo

I tells ya, waywards are crazy.

Its the PEA poisoning.

What my DS was referring to was when the rains came and Noah built his ark....God was angry with the wickedness that was going on and he destroyed those whom he created. DS who is very intelligent told WH that if "everyone was doin it" that God would get angry and destroy the human race...

I did not tell him this, he got it from what he read in the Bible...Just sayin...

Stillhere thank you for your post.
Again, I am not responding to you directly but are backing what DoormatNM is saying that religion is a very personal thing and this is a MB site not a religious site.
I understand what your daughter told you H and that you are just reporting that.
In general however, on this forum there are lots of references to a Christian God. Even if I do respect other people religion I just want to make the point that the reason why people have A or suffer the consequences from the A are not inflicted by god but by themselves. If we say the contrary then this becomes a religios site and is no longer MB.
You daughter has her believes and so did your H so your post was pertinent in showing how your H's values have changed due to the A.
Blessing

Thats all I was trying to say...The point wasnt about God, but about how my WH values changed...But everyone seems have the misconception that I was speaking on my religion and was questioning me on it, thats all...I had to explain myself better.

Just a quick question that i have been wondering....So is it okay for other people to speak about how God is love, free will and does not punish waywards and that perfectly Christian lifestyles dont stop affairs?

But me talking about my DS interpretation of the Bible is not proper on this website(even though that was NOT the meaning of the post, just part of the story) because saying that God does get angry and digusted with us sometimes makes MB become a religious website?

I just want to understand the proper etiquette cuz I am a little confused. Am I the only one who cant reference God? Just wondering...Thanks!

I think the point was that someone's interpretation of the bible isn't necessarily a wayward phrase as many people might say the exact same thing yet be completely faithful to their spouses. When you initially wrote it, you didn't provide the context that your WH was a devout catholic prior to his adultery. Without that information, the statement could have come from anybody who wasn't Christian, regardless of their marital status and faithfulness to it.

Yeah but I wasnt calling it a wayward phrase I just added it to my story, venting..and after I clarified he was a devout catholic prior to his adultery I was still being told that this website is not a place for religious views, then it was followed by religious views.

That is what I was referring to, being told that MB is not the place for religious views and then being told someones religious views on the same post. I just think it is hypocrisy. JMHO.

My point is dont tell other posters not to post their religious views and then post yours. About how God doesnt punish....I think he does punish as written in the bible, so I dont think anyone should post otherwise, because then this is a religious website with people posting opposing views to mine, so there... (sounds ridiculous doesnt it)

Well that is how it sounded to me. And I bite back when provoked.

Atena,

I've seen you post several times about YOUR beliefs. I find it offensive that you take people to task who ARE believers in the Christian faith for posting with a Christian slant. If a poster indicates that they are a believer (as am I) I won't hestitate to encourage them in the faith as one believer to another, or to invite someone to consider that God could be the answer.

FYI - Dr. Harley IS a Christian and the icon at the top of the page represents a Christian belief.

So please don't disrespect people who ARE Christians by discounting THEIR beliefs. No one disrespects you for your UNBELIEF.

Thanks.

Don't believe me? Read this interview with Dr. Harley.

Interview with Dr. Harley and his wife

Thank you, PM. That is what I was trying to say...

[quote=stillhere8126Thats all I was trying to say...The point wasnt about God, but about how my WH values changed...But everyone seems have the misconception that I was speaking on my religion and was questioning me on it, thats all...I had to explain myself better. [/quote]

What I bolded is what I got from your post. I didn't get the impression you were proselytizing.

Sorry, Karma, carry on

Oh yeah, sorry karma...

I thought I clarified here too....I guess I am not good at getting my point across...

Ugh just remembered one I saw in an email from OW to WH that has haunted me ever since:

"Maybe if NP knows about me she'll be okay with you going out to see me."

First of all,

And second of all, NO, what the heck could she be thinking, saying that????? Why in God's name would I be okay EVER with that?????

Wow, that's just... dumb! Because of course you're gonna be ok with your H seeing someone else!

I got two for you..

My H filed D paperwork (without discussing it with me) and said that our priest told him; "Jeasus said it was OK to be selfish". He insisted that it was in the bible.

Moral? People can convince themselves of anything. ANYTHING.

A new one this morning (I thought of this thread, too-- to much MB on the brain, I guess)..

After borrowing money from his famil and filing, -- without even discussing this with me-- (in a worlwind day event) he immediately left for Germany for a week-- would not talk or communicate- left me in the lurch- totally.

He sent me an emial: "I (H) had the courage to file."

He is so foggy that I am about to give up hope.

I haven't read this thread so I hope I don't have a repeat here but:

"The reason I feel safe being close friends with OM is that one of the reasons he and his wife broke up is that he is impotent."

opt

Nope, thats a new one opt... Wow!

A typical one:
"He (the OM) told me he was divorced...I didn't know he was married"

More wayward phrases


Someone was reading this archived thread...from ten years ago...just goes to shows the waywards dont change much...

OW to tempted sucker WH when trying to convince them they should leave W.

"I could be good for you"