Twice betrayed - 11/04/10 08:16 AM
3 years ago, my WH had an affair with a Chinese National (OP). They met on a business meeting and communicated through skype and met up on pretense of business trips. After I discovered the affair, the OP dumped him as she was not willing to migrate to our country. He then promised me he will not hurt me again. He became a better husband and father. I even bought Dr. Harley's book "Fall in love and Stay in love". And have been the best wife and mother since. We have 2 children age 10 and 8.
Just 3 weeks ago, I discovered that he was having another affair with another Chinese national via skype. This time, The OP is working in our country. I also found out that they have met up on several occasions. Upon my discovery, he wrote to the OP, in my presence, to break off the relationship. She agreed and told him not to contact her again.
Since then he has tried to cooperate by removing unwanted chat programs in his computer, coming home early from work and being more with the family, letting me know his passwords. We have also attended marriage counseling twice. But he is still deleting his phone listings which I am very upset about. He says he needs some privacy.
He also said that deep down, he is polygamous but will try his best to remain monogamous for as long as possible. He says that all men desires to be polygamous but it is just not possible as women will not agree to co-exist. Other than that he wants to keep the family together and promised that he will care for me and the family and give us the best. But he is still struggling with his inner needs.
I am very disappointed that I have married a man with different values and I am afraid that he will not be able to break his habit and temptations.
There are a lot of Chinese Nationals working near our area and I am afraid he may get braver with his conquests knowing that I will never leave him.
I feel that my WH is a serial cheater and that if I stay on I may be fooled repeatedly. When he is with me, I feel that he is just putting on an act to deceive me so I will stay. on and take care of the family I really want to save this marriage but everything and everyone else is telling me to leave him.
Does anyone has the same experience or repeated betrayal and have managed to save their marriage and prevent further cheatings?
Please help.
Just 3 weeks ago, I discovered that he was having another affair with another Chinese national via skype. This time, The OP is working in our country. I also found out that they have met up on several occasions. Upon my discovery, he wrote to the OP, in my presence, to break off the relationship. She agreed and told him not to contact her again.
Since then he has tried to cooperate by removing unwanted chat programs in his computer, coming home early from work and being more with the family, letting me know his passwords. We have also attended marriage counseling twice. But he is still deleting his phone listings which I am very upset about. He says he needs some privacy.
He also said that deep down, he is polygamous but will try his best to remain monogamous for as long as possible. He says that all men desires to be polygamous but it is just not possible as women will not agree to co-exist. Other than that he wants to keep the family together and promised that he will care for me and the family and give us the best. But he is still struggling with his inner needs.
I am very disappointed that I have married a man with different values and I am afraid that he will not be able to break his habit and temptations.
There are a lot of Chinese Nationals working near our area and I am afraid he may get braver with his conquests knowing that I will never leave him.
I feel that my WH is a serial cheater and that if I stay on I may be fooled repeatedly. When he is with me, I feel that he is just putting on an act to deceive me so I will stay. on and take care of the family I really want to save this marriage but everything and everyone else is telling me to leave him.
Does anyone has the same experience or repeated betrayal and have managed to save their marriage and prevent further cheatings?
Please help.