Marriage Builders
Posted By: Loveisintheair Hub comment on FB pic - 04/05/11 06:37 PM
I am on Facebook for business reasons - my husband is also on FB for reconnection with school friends, or so I thought. We're not facebook friends with each other.

I happened to look through his friends list, and clicked through a profile where a woman had posted several sexy poses. On one picture - he commented twice:

1) I can barely type. I'm enchanted (on Feb. 14 of all days)
2) amazing how her soul shines more beautifully than anything she projects physically. (posted on Feb. 24)

I took a screen grab of the posts. I am livid. What now!?

Thanks!

Married 22 years, 1DS - 16
Posted By: reading Re: Hub comment on FB pic - 04/05/11 06:47 PM
Don't let him know your discovery yet.
Do more investigation and see what the full scoop is and then post again if you have more details.
Meanwhile....get a bit sexy yourself. Work towards being your physically, soul shining self as much as you can to get ready to follow marriagebuilder plans. In other words....get to battle ready condition. Don't fret. Plan.
Posted By: jessitaylor Re: Hub comment on FB pic - 04/05/11 07:15 PM
I agree, stay calm, don't give up what you know just yet. You need to continue to check on his phone, comp.......just to make sure nothing is suspicious here.......
when you figure it out, don't confront him, figure out what your plan will be, read all the articles you can in the meantime, see if any of his words or actions go along with an affair............Look up affair fog babble................it's like a script they all use.........
jessi, if it is something it can be fixed and you can rebuild a good marriage with a good plan as reading as suggested.........time to out smart him
Posted By: SapphireReturns Re: Hub comment on FB pic - 04/05/11 07:36 PM
Install a key logger on your computer, you'll find more evidence that way.

Can you check his phone? phone records? etc...

keep snooping until you have hard evidence.
Posted By: SusieQ Re: Hub comment on FB pic - 04/05/11 07:53 PM
Read up on the concepts and start working your side of the fence while you snoop. Hang in there.

Have there been any other affairs for either of you?
Posted By: sunnydaze53 Re: Hub comment on FB pic - 04/05/11 08:36 PM
Why don't you "friend" your husband? That could tell a lot.
Posted By: SusieQ Re: Hub comment on FB pic - 04/05/11 08:44 PM
I wouldn't friend request him yet until you can confirm via keylogger whether there is anything else going on.

If there is no affair, I would confront him about the comment and ask him to stop flirting and/or to share FB accounts, etc. But first you need to snoop for the A and don't tip him off that you are suspcious...
Posted By: Scotland Re: Hub comment on FB pic - 04/05/11 10:03 PM
Originally Posted by SusieQ
I wouldn't friend request him yet until you can confirm via keylogger whether there is anything else going on.

If there is no affair, I would confront him about the comment and ask him to stop flirting and/or to share FB accounts, etc. But first you need to snoop for the A and don't tip him off that you are suspicious...

This is what I would suggest as well.
Posted By: Loveisintheair Re: Hub comment on FB pic - 04/05/11 11:39 PM
Thanks for your replies. There has been no previous A's. I don't friend my husband for two reasons:
a: his account has been hacked in the past
b: I don't want any "dirty laundry" being passed on a social site - I've seen it with other couples

I will install a keylogger on the computer at home. His company does not permit access to Facebook on the work computer or from his company-provided phone.

Not tipping him off about it is difficult - I just want to email the screen shot to him and say - oh REALLY!!?? I had to put the screen shot into a folder so that it wasn't just sitting there on my desktop.
Posted By: maritalbliss Re: Hub comment on FB pic - 04/06/11 02:13 AM
Originally Posted by Loveisintheair
Thanks for your replies. There has been no previous A's. I don't friend my husband for two reasons:
a: his account has been hacked in the past
b: I don't want any "dirty laundry" being passed on a social site - I've seen it with other couples

I will install a keylogger on the computer at home. His company does not permit access to Facebook on the work computer or from his company-provided phone.

Not tipping him off about it is difficult - I just want to email the screen shot to him and say - oh REALLY!!?? I had to put the screen shot into a folder so that it wasn't just sitting there on my desktop.
Love, there may be something going on here, or your H may be a clumsy clod who thinks he's being sexy and witty, not realizing how dangerous that behavior is. You need to snoop to find out. I had a male friend who was doing the same thing on his FB account. His wife nipped that business in the bud. No affair, he was just stupid. But it was dangerous behavior that could have progressed to something much worse.

Check this out to make sure of what's going on. If there's something there, we can help you. Don't say anything to him. Come here with what you've got.

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