Emotional Affair (long) - 05/18/11 10:16 PM
Forgive me but I don't know all the abbreviations.
My story: Ive had a issue with my husband going out with his friends and ignoring my phone calls. This is NOT new, he has done it for years! I have put up with it and never left because I felt maybe when we got older he would change. 2 children and 7 years down the road...no change. So 2 weeks ago I caught him red handed at a bar when he specifically told me the week before that he would stop. Took a picture sent it to his phone and let him know that I would be leaving to cool off and get my head together as to what I was going to do. A little background on me, I am currently a stay at home mom, have no vehicle, and no access to the accounts for money. Anywho...my sister convinced me to stay with her and she would help me with the kids. I ignored his calls and text for about 48 hours, and finally gave in when he asks if this it was how it was going to end. I told him no, and that I just needed my space so that I could make a smart decision. He of course got mad at me and it was rude texting from then on until 2 days later. I told him that the only way that I could any kind of trust for him was for him to not go out at all or drink at all unless I was able to go to. At the time, that was to much to ask (this was Thursday night) so I left it alone then. Friday rolls around and I have to go home because my sister was having a little get together and I didn't want to intrude. So when I come home he comes in and tells me that he is going out with his friend and that if I was home when he get back that we would work things out. I of course had to stay, had no where else to go. He shows up at 2am and trys to talk to me DRUNK. At this time, im in withdrawl. I don't care to even argue about it anymore, I just want to live here until I can get my ducks in a row. Well fast forward 4 days later (this past Thursday) I just so happen to get on his phone without him knowing and he is texting another girl telling her the following: she was cute, he couldnt stop looking at her, he wanted to have lunch with her and them sit close together, and that he didn't know why she was shy they "both knew what was happening." That was just the major stuff to me. I freaked out and confronted him about it immediately! Yes I lost my temper, I threw the phone at him and told him to get out. He got mad because I invaded his privacy and told me that he met her when I LEFT HIM. He knew very well that I wasn't leaving him like that, that I just needed my space. To shorten things up...
Ive lost all trust in him, I cant stop checking the phone records, I have now put a key logger on the computer so that I can get into the bank account, and I dont know if I can ever trust him again. I printed out the basic concepts and the joint agreement, he doesn't want to read them. I am literally in a corner. I have 2 children who I cant provide for if I leave him, no car to get to a potential job, and no money even though half of what he makes is mine. To tell you the truth, I do still love him but I cannot keep subjecting myself to this, its not fair to me nor to our children.
ANY ADVICE?
To clear any questions up, the other girl did not know he was married and I made sure that she knew who I was and that she was no longer advised to contact him out consequences. Stupid on my part to threaten her, but maybe enough to keep her away while I try to get to the bottom of things.
My story: Ive had a issue with my husband going out with his friends and ignoring my phone calls. This is NOT new, he has done it for years! I have put up with it and never left because I felt maybe when we got older he would change. 2 children and 7 years down the road...no change. So 2 weeks ago I caught him red handed at a bar when he specifically told me the week before that he would stop. Took a picture sent it to his phone and let him know that I would be leaving to cool off and get my head together as to what I was going to do. A little background on me, I am currently a stay at home mom, have no vehicle, and no access to the accounts for money. Anywho...my sister convinced me to stay with her and she would help me with the kids. I ignored his calls and text for about 48 hours, and finally gave in when he asks if this it was how it was going to end. I told him no, and that I just needed my space so that I could make a smart decision. He of course got mad at me and it was rude texting from then on until 2 days later. I told him that the only way that I could any kind of trust for him was for him to not go out at all or drink at all unless I was able to go to. At the time, that was to much to ask (this was Thursday night) so I left it alone then. Friday rolls around and I have to go home because my sister was having a little get together and I didn't want to intrude. So when I come home he comes in and tells me that he is going out with his friend and that if I was home when he get back that we would work things out. I of course had to stay, had no where else to go. He shows up at 2am and trys to talk to me DRUNK. At this time, im in withdrawl. I don't care to even argue about it anymore, I just want to live here until I can get my ducks in a row. Well fast forward 4 days later (this past Thursday) I just so happen to get on his phone without him knowing and he is texting another girl telling her the following: she was cute, he couldnt stop looking at her, he wanted to have lunch with her and them sit close together, and that he didn't know why she was shy they "both knew what was happening." That was just the major stuff to me. I freaked out and confronted him about it immediately! Yes I lost my temper, I threw the phone at him and told him to get out. He got mad because I invaded his privacy and told me that he met her when I LEFT HIM. He knew very well that I wasn't leaving him like that, that I just needed my space. To shorten things up...
Ive lost all trust in him, I cant stop checking the phone records, I have now put a key logger on the computer so that I can get into the bank account, and I dont know if I can ever trust him again. I printed out the basic concepts and the joint agreement, he doesn't want to read them. I am literally in a corner. I have 2 children who I cant provide for if I leave him, no car to get to a potential job, and no money even though half of what he makes is mine. To tell you the truth, I do still love him but I cannot keep subjecting myself to this, its not fair to me nor to our children.
ANY ADVICE?
To clear any questions up, the other girl did not know he was married and I made sure that she knew who I was and that she was no longer advised to contact him out consequences. Stupid on my part to threaten her, but maybe enough to keep her away while I try to get to the bottom of things.