Marriage Builders
Posted By: Rbk Alcoholic spouse - 02/17/13 09:29 PM
Please give me feedback , I'm sinking into depression but I'm working on s job transfer
And leaving my spouse of 8 years together, my question is his mother is under hospice care with stage 4 cancer, I really despise her so does my 12 yr old due caused us a lot of problems before .
My H has admitted to knowing H has a problem with alcohol but instead of doing something about it now it has intensified . His mothers illness hasent helped matters,
My point is I feel emotionally , physically , neglected ,if I bring up the subject or his lack of lovemaking we get into arguments then he starts throwing stuff..
I
Would it be wrong for me to leave him with his mother dying?
I'm sad to say my love for him has exhausted its course with the effects of alcohol. I do love him but I don't FEEL it's both ways.
Any advise,I'm having panic attacks n feel tired from depression.
Posted By: Jedi_Knight Re: Alcoholic spouse - 02/17/13 09:43 PM
You need to find peace.
Your first step is to admit that you are POWERLESS over his alcoholism.

I encourage you to attend an AlAnon meeting.

You can google their name and find a meeting near you .
Posted By: Rbk Re: Alcoholic spouse - 02/17/13 10:15 PM
You know what hurts the most he doesn't realize the pain I'm in n he ignores all of my most important needs
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Alcoholic spouse - 02/18/13 03:12 PM
Welcome to MB.

Have you read these?

Alcoholic Spouse #1
Alcoholic Spouse #2
Alcoholic Spouse #3

Posted By: Jedi_Knight Re: Alcoholic spouse - 02/19/13 01:31 AM
Originally Posted by Rbk
You know what hurts the most he doesn't realize the pain I'm in n he ignores all of my most important needs

AlAnon can teach you not to be dependent on him for having your needs met
Posted By: Pepperband Re: Alcoholic spouse - 02/21/13 03:25 PM
Originally Posted by Rbk
You know what hurts the most he doesn't realize the pain I'm in n he ignores all of my most important needs

He is "in love" with alcohol.
You are not his priority.
Your family is not his priority.

An untreated alcoholic is a sick tyrant.
If you remain with him, you become as 'sick' as he is. So does your child.
Posted By: Pepperband Re: Alcoholic spouse - 02/21/13 03:27 PM
Originally Posted by Rbk
Would it be wrong for me to leave him with his mother dying?

No.

He may tell you it is 'wrong', you are a 'bad person', etc ....but he's an expert at manipulating you.

Let's re-phrase your question....

"Would it be wrong for me to protect myself and my child from an abusive alcoholic if his mother dying?"


Answer:
No.
Posted By: Rbk I just got my Confirmation - 02/24/13 02:56 PM
So I just found out my Spouse is planning an outing where hot girls are going to be there, this is all in part his stupid brothers fault. He thinks I'm a B,And I just discovered he's into Porn , how revolting! He told his brother I'm stupid because I didn't know who an artist was of a song , He's an alcoholic too. Somebody tell me how I can go about in the simplest way to track what he's doing on iPhone 4s
Posted By: Rbk Re: I just got my Confirmation - 02/24/13 05:24 PM
Any advise on this
Posted By: SugarCane Re: I just got my Confirmation - 02/24/13 06:17 PM
You need to copy and paste this post to your existing thread, so that people can read quickly and see what you're talking about before they give advice. Nobody knows the context of your post if you start a new thread to make a new point. Alternatively, click "notify" and ask the moderators to merge your threads.
Posted By: SugarCane Re: I just got my Confirmation - 02/24/13 06:19 PM
Originally Posted by Rbk
Somebody tell me how I can go about in the simplest way to track what he's doing on iPhone 4s
Also, on the point about the iphone:

We have a whole forum, Operation Investigate, dedicated to questions like this. There will be threads there where someone has asked this question and received an answer, so please go there and read. (I don't know the answer myself, otherwise I'd tell you.)
Posted By: Jedi_Knight Re: I just got my Confirmation - 02/24/13 07:59 PM
Have you attended an AlAnon meeting?
You can't control your husband. You can only control your behaviors
Posted By: Rbk Re: I just got my Confirmation - 02/25/13 12:44 AM
Thanks for answering. Yes I have contacted them, I'm having a hard time with scheduled times but I can do the email way of it . I've decided To exit out of this I don't want my daughter exposed to any more of this. I'm going to my own counsler too.
Heaven help us all .
Posted By: Jedi_Knight Re: I just got my Confirmation - 02/25/13 04:50 AM
I strongly encourage you to attend a meeting in person.
They are much more helpful than online.
Also they are anonymous. You don't have to worry about anyone knowing.
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