heating wife [merged threads]
Married 1 year and wife cheated with this dude for over a year. This dude also married . She's basically been lying to me for over year, going on fake business trips and excuses to see him. His wife found out and told me. She also told me she didn't love me anymore but loved him. She even moved out for a month to live with him but came back to me because she thought he couldn't give her what she wanted. I wanted her back because I don't think I can live without her. She told me it was his fault and he seduced her but I always had a feeling she liked him, I also know the guy. But now she says she's sorry and wants to make it work with me. I told her I would divorce her if she left to be with him but I didn't have guts to do it since I love her so much. I don't think I can live without her. She's been back with for few months but I'm always looking over my shoulder. People told me to ditch her and says it won't last but I forgive her.
I'm scared she may cheat again maybe with same dude. She also blames me for not given her attention enugh after getting married that's why she cheated. She told me this her first time. I think she was just infatuated with him .


Things are kinda back to normal now but now I have her back there are still things I can't get over. So people told me things will never be the same but I disagree .
I love her so much. What shall I do?

Do you have children together?

Is she (or you) in any manner still in contact with the OM?

Do they work together or even have opportunities to see each other?

You shouldn't want things to 'be the same'.

You should only try to save the marriage if you want a truly strong marriage that is based in honesty of both and commitment to create quality time together.

If your wife wants an independent life in conjunction with the marriage and you can not see that she is willing to give that up.........let the relationship go.

You can have a future without her. There are so many wonderful women in the world who want a real marriage.

Walk away.

Seriously. Walk away. If your W was cheating on you for more than a year, that means she was cheating on you even before you were M'd. She is not M material. IMO this calls for a "permanent plan B" on your part.

Its possible that you could have a loving romantic marriage but you must follow the recovery plan as detailed in Surviving an Affair by Dr Willard Harley.

I encourage you to get his book.

Has this affair been exposed to anyone?