Thoughts on emotional maturity... - 07/25/14 05:16 AM
Since having to dive head-first into the world of affairs, I have found the "psychology" of it to be fascinating.
The other day I was in a book store and saw a book titled "Dating Game Secrets for Marrying a Good Man" by Alisa Goodwin Snell. I thought the title was funny so picked it up and skimmed the chapter titles. One that caught my eye was "Not all men can love...and loving them hurts", so I sat down and read it.
She talked about how some men (and women) simply don't know how to love another person, and that being in a relationship with them is difficult for a variety of reasons, one being the spouse/significant other rarely actually feels love (because they truly aren't loved), that outwardly they seem to be perfect but can't quite fully engage,especially if life isn't perfect. The case study she talked about sounded almost exactly like my marriage! It talks about how a person has to emotionally mature to actually be capable of real love, and emotional maturity is made up of three things: empathy, personal responsibility, and self-control.
Now perhaps I am dumping too much into this theory because of my own recent experiences, so I wondered what all of you thought about this theory in the context of affairs, etc. I certainly don't think this is the grand finale of relationship problems, but I did think it was a fascinating concept. As I examine my own experiences I think this probably played a part but I wonder if it is the same for all/most affairs?
Thoughts anyone?
The other day I was in a book store and saw a book titled "Dating Game Secrets for Marrying a Good Man" by Alisa Goodwin Snell. I thought the title was funny so picked it up and skimmed the chapter titles. One that caught my eye was "Not all men can love...and loving them hurts", so I sat down and read it.
She talked about how some men (and women) simply don't know how to love another person, and that being in a relationship with them is difficult for a variety of reasons, one being the spouse/significant other rarely actually feels love (because they truly aren't loved), that outwardly they seem to be perfect but can't quite fully engage,especially if life isn't perfect. The case study she talked about sounded almost exactly like my marriage! It talks about how a person has to emotionally mature to actually be capable of real love, and emotional maturity is made up of three things: empathy, personal responsibility, and self-control.
Now perhaps I am dumping too much into this theory because of my own recent experiences, so I wondered what all of you thought about this theory in the context of affairs, etc. I certainly don't think this is the grand finale of relationship problems, but I did think it was a fascinating concept. As I examine my own experiences I think this probably played a part but I wonder if it is the same for all/most affairs?
Thoughts anyone?