Marriage Builders
Posted By: Ann86 Newbie looking for advise/support - 08/15/14 02:18 PM
My husband and I have been married for 28 years. About two months ago I discovered he had been having an affair for about two to three months. Initially he said he wanted to separate. He claimed our house felt cold and our relationship was just about the kids but said he did still love me. Over the last few years life just got in the way. Between kids work and taking care if his parents and my dad I didn't focus on us. I took a lot for granted. I felt like I was part responsible for him straying and would so anything to keep out marriage together. I had a huge wake up. He remained at home but there were times he would spend time with her. Then he said he wanted to work things out and claimed he ended things with her. The nights were great. We reconnected physically and at night would find him hugging me theough the night. He did not have any contact with her for about one week then she texted him. He then said he was confused. Things got heated and our two teenage girls found out. The next day he said he did not want to lose his family and agreed tongi to counseling. We went that day. He came home and sent the other girl a text that he was done and did not want to lose his family. He then deleted all her info and blocked her. This was a little over a month ago and he has not had any contact. We are starting to connect again. We just went away for the weekend. I am hopeful but am still so scared. I am trying really hard. Should I be hopeful? Any thoughts or recommendations for me to help keep him. Hiw to make him really stay and re fall in love with me more. Make him happy?
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: Newbie looking for advise/support - 08/15/14 04:20 PM
Welcome to MB.

You have you exposed this to? Is the OW married? Will he write a NC letter?

Posted By: catwhit Re: Newbie looking for advise/support - 08/15/14 05:21 PM
Ann:

Welcome to MB. You have landed in the exact right place because MB has a specific, step-by-step PLAN to recover from infidelity. It works every time, when couples follow the specific plan. You can do this.

You must follow the steps exactly and in order.

Please answer BrainHurts' questions. And, if you have not already, read everything on the first thread in this forum, "Welcome - Read Here First".
Posted By: Ann86 Re: Newbie looking for advise/support - 08/15/14 07:36 PM
His sisters know as well as a couple friends and our two daughters. The other woman is divorced x 3. I'm not sure what a NCAA letter is.? And thank you!
Posted By: Justthe3ofus Re: Newbie looking for advise/support - 08/15/14 08:17 PM
You will get immediate advice here, but the best strategy is for you and your husband to read together "Surviving an Affair" by Dr. Willard Harvey. Follow the steps he prescribes in it to affair proof your marriage and to build one that is romantic and blissful.

Dr. Harley has saved and recovered thousands of marriages and you and your husband will be richly rewarded if you follow his program.
Posted By: walrus Re: Newbie looking for advise/support - 08/15/14 08:22 PM
I think you have a case of cell phone auto correct.

NCAA is National Collegiate Athletic Association

NC in MB(marriage builders) context is No Contact.

It is officially recommended that it be a letter be created by the Wayward Spouse (WS) and approved and mailed by the Betrayed Spouse(BS). A real letter vs a text message carries more weight.

Here is a thread on more acronyms:
http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/u...&Number=1984040&nt=12&page=1

How did they meet/Where did the affair take place?
Posted By: Ann86 Re: Newbie looking for advise/support - 08/15/14 08:36 PM
Our counselor recommended we read his needs her needs. Any ideas on this?
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Newbie looking for advise/support - 08/15/14 08:44 PM
Originally Posted by Ann86
Our counselor recommended we read his needs her needs. Any ideas on this?

The correct book for your situation is Surviving an Affair. It has a very specific step by step plan for recovery.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Newbie looking for advise/support - 08/15/14 08:45 PM
There is also a workbook that goes with it calls Five Steps to Romantic Love. It has all the worksheets in it.
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