Emotional Affair followed by disclosure of more - 09/12/15 06:58 PM
Years ago I visited this website after my husband had an emotional affair with a co worker (he was in the Army). He since got out and we moved away and things were ok. We had been working on things until I got a call from the former mistress that he had called her and told him to call her at work (2 years later!). I was so distraught over learning that he was still trying to cheat on me after I thought things were going better (AGAIN) that I moved out. He is now apologetic and agreed to work on his PTSD and alcohol problems. In the midst of this he disclosed that he had had two more sexual affairs with two different women before the third emotional affair. That's 5 years of lying to me (I had suspicion but no proof). We have been married 13 years and have three children. I am lost. Confused. Afraid to believe anything he says and don't feel like he has done enough work on himself or in resolving what went wrong in the first place for me to move back. I've been ostracized by my family for even talking to him after all this let alone the notion of reconciling. I don't want to be fooled by his manipulation any more. I couldn't find anything in the basics that can address my situation. All I ever hear is that his pattern of behavior is lack of good character. He has been to one individual counseling session in over a months time, hasn't made an appt for us to go to marriage counseling and attends two twelve step meetings a week if he isn't busy doing something else. These are things he said he would do to show me that he is a changed man. Am I being impatient? Is reconciliation possible? People tell me that we are just in denial about it being over. I don't know how to feel anything except afraid to trust and doubtful about my future with him. Any links or advice or whatever would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.