My wife basically has very limited number of friends and she does not have habit of being regularly in touch with them.

My issue started when I started seeing Messages of her ex Co-Worker in Messenger.Messaging started after he got another job. Messages are of normal nature like hi, how r u etc(Which I saw). Recently messages also comes as SMS.

Since the messages were normal I did not bothered. My doubt started when I accidentally saw message history of few messages both incoming and reply in her mobile. Messages were deleted. She is having other male friends also but none of them message or call frequently. Also bill of her mobile come to my mail id since it is a combo number from which I saw messages sent to this person many times. Most of these were on my absence at home.

I spoke to her and told her that this guy does not seem genuine. She said she just replies his message as he frequently messages and nothing else. She also messaged the guy not to message her in night as I dislike.

After expressing my concern She is not in touch with the person. But she has not yet disclosed the reason for hiding friendship. I have gone through doctors 'Surviving Infidelity' Post. I am trying to work on it now. It often hurts me why she hide the friendship from me. To the best of my knowledge I am more or less sure that there is only friendship and nothing else. Awaiting your valuable advice on rebuilding trust in my married life

Welcome to MB.

Dos your wife have opposite sex friendships?

Quietly put spyware on her devices.

In the meantime keep reading on MB and become the best husband you can be.

How long have you been married? Any children?

I am married since 12 years. She got male friends. But none of them contact or she contact them frequently. I have two kids.

You have 2 kids with her or with someone else?

Have either of you been married before?

Are you going to put spyware on her devices?

Kids are from her only. First time I am noticing unusual events. Not before this. For the time being just monitoring the things as she has stopped sending messages after my warning

How do you know this? She could have found another way to send messages.

I have blocked that person in her mobile, her whatsapp and fb messenger. She is working as teacher from 9 to 4.30.So no time will get for other activities. it took half hour to reach home. from 5 she will be at home.

My wife basically has very limited number of friends and she does not have habit of being regularly in touch with them.

My issue started when I started seeing Messages of her ex Co-Worker in Messenger.Messaging started after he got another job. Messages are of normal nature like hi, how r u etc(Which I saw). Recently messages also comes as SMS.

Since the messages were normal I did not bothered. My doubt started when I accidentally saw message history of few messages both incoming and reply in her mobile. Messages were deleted. She is having other male friends also but none of them message or call frequently. Also bill of her mobile come to my mail id since it is a combo number from which I saw messages sent to this person many times. Most of these were on my absence at home.

I spoke to her and told her that this guy does not seem genuine. She said she just replies his message as he frequently messages and nothing else. She also messaged the guy not to message her in night as I dislike.

After expressing my concern She is not in touch with the person. But she has not yet disclosed the reason for hiding friendship. I have gone through doctors 'Surviving Infidelity' Post. I am trying to work on it now. It often hurts me why she hide the friendship from me. To the best of my knowledge I am more or less sure that there is only friendship and nothing else.May be she has messaged him avoiding my warning. Awaiting your valuable advice on rebuilding trust in my married life.

Hello gfish,

Dr. Harley calls for radical honesty in marriages, and it looks like your wife has private friendships with people of the opposite sex which is not good for a marriage and could be a sign of infidelity. So your concerns are no ill founded.

I would not share with her your concerns for now. Instead, you need to start snooping. Can you get spyware on her phone? You need to find out what these messages say. Also, are you able to account for where she is when she is away from home?

How is your relationship with your wife these days?

gfish, I encourage you to read through the Exposure 101 thread and work through the steps in it. What you will find is that most people know full well that an opposite sex "friendship" is another word for an affair - it certainly hurts the same.

You need to determine the full extent of her friendship with this man. Uncover the full story on your own; don't ask her or expect her to do it.